Monstrous
by itsmadyagain
Summary: No one knew what to do with him anymore. Constantly in and out of therapy sessions, always being referred to someone else, someone new, and now, with the loss of his sisters... Honestly, I wasn't sure how to help him, because it seemed like he couldn't even help himself. But I would do what I could to lighten the load. If only I'd known.
1. ONE

|| ONE ||

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Josh Washington sighs for what seems like the millionth time today. He hastily throws the shirt he's been holding into the open duffle bag in front of him. He narrows his eyes, giving me that pointed "please-stop-asking-me-if-I'm-okay" look I've been receiving since the day I met him. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't ask me that again." His voice is quiet but harsh.

I don't flinch at his tone, not like I used to. I know he doesn't mean it. He's assured me several times that he doesn't mean it. Apparently, it's the only assurance I actually believe. "I'm worried about you," I say. "Everyone's worried about you."

He rolls his eyes and grabs another shirt. "I'm fine, Charlie. Stop talking about it."

I frown and fold my arms across my chest. "I don't believe you."

"You have no reason not to believe me," Josh snaps. I do jump this time, instinctively taking a take steps away. Josh closes his eyes and sighs. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to get mad at you. It's just - all of the worrying is driving me crazy. I'm already crazy, Charlie. I don't need any more on top of it."

I glare at him. "You're not crazy."

Josh gives me half a smile. "Oh please." I shake my head. "Alright, whatever. Do you want to sit down? You're making me nervous, standing in the doorway."

He pats the bed, flashes another smile, and turns back to his closet to grab another shirt. I walk further into the room and jump up onto the bed, which stands taller than my waist. Why does he need such a tall bed? How the hell did he get into it when he was younger? I lay on my side and rest my head against one of his pillows. It smells nice, comforting, like the Old Spice deodorant I know he wears. I try not to look too content with it.

"Are you sure _you're_ okay with this?" Josh asks, folding a pair of jeans and tucking them away in his bag.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with it?"

Josh shrugs. "You've never been up there before. You don't know some of my friends very well, which could make it an uncomfortable time for you - "

"Are you having second thoughts about inviting me to go to your parents' lodge with you and your friends, Josh?" I sit up a little, propping myself up on my elbows. "I'd like to remind you that this was _your_ idea. All of it."

"And I think it's a great idea. I just want to make sure you're going to be okay."

I roll my eyes. "How about we worry about you instead of me?"

"How about we not worry at all, if that's the case?" Josh leans across the bed to put a hand over my mouth. I lick his palm, but he just smiles. "We're going to have a great time. I believe it; I want you to believe it, too." He takes back his hand and wipes his palm on his shirt with a slight shake of his head. "Trust me; you're going to love it up there. It's beautiful."

I smile. "I believe you. I can't wait."

Josh grins. "Good." He returns to stuffing clothes into his duffle bag. "I really hope you like it. Some of my best memories are from up there."

I like him like this - happy. Too often he's sullen and quiet, like he expects the world to come crumbling down on him at any moment. I can't blame him. Really, it seems like he has less reasons to be happy than he does to be depressed as of late, but now he's practically glowing, just like when he first asked me to come with him. Then he was nearly shaking from excitement. He's improving.

"I'll love it," I say, and he beams. "Hey, Josh?" He hums. "Why'd you wait to pack until literally an hour before we have to leave to catch our flight?"

He laughs, and it makes my heart ache. I've missed it, the sound. The happiness. It took months for it to come back, and only months to go away again. It's rocky ground we're treading.

"Oh, you know me - always putting things off until the last minute."

"I do," I say with a smile. "Hurry up. I'm getting tired of watching you."

Josh zips up his bag and tosses it onto the floor before jumping onto the mattress next to me. He reaches a hand out and tickles my side, laughing at me while I try to smack his hand away from me. "Come on, Charlie, you know you could never get tired of me," he says.

I raise an eyebrow, trying to hide my smile. "Do you want to bet me?"

"Nope." He stops tickling me and pokes my cheek instead. "I'm too cute. There's no way you could _ever_ be mad at me."

I roll my eyes good-naturedly. "We'll see about that."

We both laugh, and I can't help but watch him. It's been so long since I've seen him like this, it's almost heartbreaking. Soon the giggles subside and he's just staring at me, like he's waiting for me to say something. I always have something to say. "Are you sure you're okay?" I say quietly. Josh opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "I mean _really_ okay, Josh."

His green eyes are intense as he watches me. "I want to do this, Charlie. Why can't you see that?"

"I _can_ see that, Josh. I just want to make sure you're alright." He frowns at me; I shake my head. "Have you talked to Dr. Hill about this?"

Josh sighs and rolls away from me and off the bed. Hands clasped behind his back, he paces the length of the room. "I don't need my therapist's permission to do _anything_ , let alone go on a trip to my parents' ski lodge with my friends like I've done _every other year_ , Charlie."

I sit up and scoot to the end of the bed to watch him pace. "This isn't 'every other year' though, Josh." My voice is soft. I don't want to push the subject any further than this; I don't know if _Josh_ wants to push the subject any further than this. It's not something we talk about very often, especially not of late.

Josh walks back over to the bed, coming to stand between my knees. He looks down at his hands, which are tightly woven together in front of him. His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks. "Just because my sisters went missing last year doesn't mean I can't go back there ever again."

I'm silent.

Josh swallows audibly. "I'll be fine. I promise. I-I have to go back." He looks up at me. His eyes are shiny. "I want things to be normal again. With my friends. With myself." He looks down again. His shoulders are shaking.

"Hey," I say. My voice is gentle. I place my hands on either side of his head and tug him closer until his forehead is on my shoulder. He puts one hand over my heart and the other over his and breathes slowly. "Just breathe. You're okay." I move my palms over his ears.

He nods, moving around the fabric of my shirt. And he breathes.

Minutes pass in silence until Josh finally steps back, his eyes closed and a small smile on his face. "I'm okay," he says. "Thank you."

"Of course."

Josh hops back onto the bed and settles in beside me, draping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a quick squeeze. "I'm glad I met you, Charlie."

"I know."

He gives a short chuckle. He smiles. And he breathes.


	2. TWO

|| TWO ||

The flight from California to Alberta, Canada was only a few hours long, and Josh spent the entire trip passed out on my shoulder. He even drooled a little, but I didn't say anything about it. Now we're on a bus, Josh dozing with his head against the cold window this time, on our way to the base of Blackwood Mountain. Apparently there's a cable car that will take us up to the top, where the ski lodge is. While a cable car doesn't seem like the safest form of transportation to me, who prefers being on the ground rather than in the air (making the flight to Canada a nightmare), I trust Josh.

We're the last passengers on the bus when it reaches the base of the mountain. Josh woke up a few minutes prior and now bumps me with his shoulder. "Come on, let's go," he says with a sleepy smile.

He slides past me into the aisle and offers me his hand. I roll my eyes at him and stand on my own, to which he laughs. He leads the way off the bus, tipping the driver generously for taking us. Snow crunches beneath my boots when I hop off the last step. I grimace. I'm not exactly fond of snow, per se. Josh sees my expression and laughs. "Live a little, Charlie."

We start to walk, a stone wall and wrought iron gate looming ahead of us. Josh starts to job, looking to have a bit more of a spring in his step now that he's back on the mountain. I can't help but smile. Until he starts spewing profanity, anyway.

I quicken my pace, trying not to slip in the snow. "What's the matter?"

Josh shakes the gate, a large frown on his face. "Fucking gate is broken. The cops must've busted it while they were up here investigating." His face is dark, but it brightens when I rest a hand against his back. "I think we're going to have to climb over the wall. You up for that?"

"I don't see another option, unless you'd like me to fly back home," I say grudgingly. I walk toward the left of the gate and toss my bag over the wall. Good thing there's nothing breakable in there. Not that I think anything would break in the snow. But what do I know?

I wedge my fingers into the gap between a couple of the stones, get a nice foothold, and start to climb. The wall is taller once you're on it than it is looking up at it from the ground. I jump for the next handhold and almost miss it, knocking my knees against the stone along the way. Cursing quietly under my breath, I get a grip on the top of the wall and swing a leg over, prepping myself to get completely on top of the wall.

"I really like the view from down here, gotta say," Josh says below me. He whistles.

"Shut up, please," I say. He laughs.

The muscles in my arms are screaming at the effort of having to heave myself over the wall. Exercise isn't exactly my forte. I take a short break at the top of the wall before I slide down the other side, bending my knees so I don't hurt my legs. I don't know a lot, but I do know that. Straightening up, I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder just as Josh tosses his own bag over, narrowly avoiding hitting me. "Hey, watch it!"

Again, Josh just laughs. I doubt I'll ever get tired of hearing it. Seconds later, he's up and over the wall and landing next to me. He's hardly touched down before his legs fly out from under him and he falls into the snow. He shrieks.

I look down at him, trying to mask my grin. "I thought you were used to the snow, Joshua?" I say teasingly.

He sticks his tongue out at me and gets to his feet, frantically shaking out his coat and shirt while hopping around in circles. "Not when it's down the back of my shirt!" he whines, waving his hands to get feeling back into them. "God, that's so cold."

"Try to stick the landing next time, eh, Joshie?"

He rolls his eyes, grabs his bag, and walks ahead of me. "I hate you."

"You could never."

"Eh, maybe."

I smile and stroll along behind him, keeping my hands tucked into my pockets so they'll stay warm. "How much farther to the cable car?" I ask. Not that the snowy mountainside isn't beautiful, but I'm freezing cold and I'd like to be inside. This weather is not at all what I'm about.

"Not much. Just a couple minutes." He slows his pace until he's walking along beside me. "You doing okay? Mountain air treating you well?"

I snort. "Don't worry about me. I _live_ for nature."

"You hate nature."

"But it's pretty up here, so who cares?" I chuckle and walk a little quicker, noticing a sign up ahead. "What's this for?"

The sign is set into the side of a short stone pillar. There are drawings of what look like butterflies down the left side - black, red, brown, yellow, and white. Beside the drawings are descriptions of what each color means. "Josh, what is this?"

Josh comes up beside me and lays his hand on my shoulder. "Um, it's some Native American thing. I guess there are totems that you can find around the mountain that supposedly predict the future." He shrugs. "Or something like that, anyway."

"Do you believe it?"

Again, he shrugs. "There was one summer we were up here, I think I was ten or eleven. We had a dog, he was only a few years old." Josh scratches the back of his neck. "He got mauled by something. A wolverine, maybe, I don't really remember it that well." He notices my shocked face and laughs. "No, it's okay. He wasn't the nicest dog in the world. The point is, Beth - " He breaks off suddenly and clears his throat. His hand drops away from my shoulder and he steps back. "Beth swore she saw a totem that predicted it happening."

I look at him; he's staring at the sign. "And what do you think?"

There's the brush of skin against my knuckles. I take his hand and squeeze it. He squeezes back, albeit briefly, and lets go. "I don't know. I've never seen a totem before." He ruffles my hair and starts to walk away. "Come on. The cable car station is just right over here."

I hear his boots crunching in the snow as he heads off to my left, but I'm still looking over the sign. "'Tribes who once lived in these mountains believed that butterflies carried dreams and prophecies of possible futures,'" I read. "'The color of the butterfly indicated the nature of the prophecy.'" So Josh was pretty close in his explanation.

Black indicates death, red is a warning of something dangerous happening, and brown signals loss. _Well, that doesn't sound very good._ Yellow and white are more positive - yellow is guidance, and white is fortune. I smile a little. _I'll try to stick to those two colors, then. If these are even real._

"Charlie, are you coming or what?" Josh shouts.

I jump. "Yeah, I'll be right there!" I move to take a step, but immediately end up kicking something. The sound is hollow, like wood. I look down.

It's a wooden figure, a little larger than my hand. It kind of looks like it has a fish design, painted black with scales, and yellow arrows on the front. Part of me wants to pick it up, but the other part of me wants to leave it alone. I don't know what it is, but if anything is a totem, it's definitely that.

The design is black and yellow. Would that make it a death totem or a guidance totem? _Don't touch it._

I bend over and pick it up. It's not very heavy; the carvings are smooth. Turning it over, there are more yellow lines and a large black hole in the shape of the butterflies on the sign. _Please don't be death._

The experience is kind of like having tunnel vision. Everything goes black around the edges and I can only focus in on the short scene playing out in front of me. There's a bird. It flies into sight and lands on what looks like a picnic table. From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of someone ducking behind a tree. Mike?

 _What the fuck?_

Well, it definitely doesn't seem like death.

"Charlie, come on, the cable car is here already!"

I drop the totem instantly and back away from it. I'm confused. What the hell was that supposed to mean? What did it do to me? Wooden figures shouldn't be able to give you visions. That's insane. And who cares about a bird, anyway? What kind of guidance is that?

I readjust my bag on my shoulder and run after Josh, who is impatiently tapping his foot beside the door to the cable car station. There's another sign at the top of the hill there, looking like a map. Words in all caps are scrawled across it in blood red - **_THE PAST IS BEYOND OUR CONTROL_**. "Josh - "

"I saw it." He's beside me now, with a hand on my arm. "It's okay. Couple of dumb kids, probably."

"Do you think they're still here?"

Josh chuckles. "No, I don't think they're still here. Where would they stay? It's too cold for anyone to stay without shelter, especially at night."

He takes me by the elbow and drags me away toward the station. We're through the door in seconds and other the other side and into the cable car, but not before I catch a glimpse of yet another sign. "Blackwood Pines Hotel and Sanatorium?" I say questioningly as we settle onto one of the benches in the cable car.

Josh shrugs. Okay then.

The ride to the top of the mountain isn't too long, so we don't bother trying to fill it with idle conversation. Josh looks like he's thinking hard about something; his face is stony. I don't bother him. I especially don't tell him about the totem I found. I don't think he would believe me if I did.

"The lodge isn't a whole lot farther," Josh says as we climb out onto the snow. "Your legs tired yet?"

"Exhausted. Carry me?" I ask jokingly. Josh grins and shakes his head at me. "Jerk. You're the one who dragged me up here."

"You're the one who agreed to come with."

I nudge him with my shoulder. "Couldn't let you have an adventure without me, now could I?"

"Whatever you say." Josh slings an arm around my shoulders and hugs me tightly as we walk, lingering for a few minutes before letting me go. "I hope you have a good time while you're here. And I hope my friends don't annoy you too much. Some of them can get like that sometimes."

I shrug. "I've met most of them already, haven't I?" Josh pauses a moment and then nods. "Right. So it shouldn't be too bad. Got somewhere I can lock myself away if I need to?"

He laughs. "Oh yeah, I'll just stick you in one of the spare bedrooms." He laughs again, but then sobers up quickly. When he looks at me, his green eyes are intense. "How much sleep did you get last night?" I look away. "How much?"

I'm evasive. "Enough."

"Charlie," he says warningly.

I sigh. "A couple of hours. Is that what you wanted to hear? God."

"Did you sleep at all on the plane?" I shake my head. "The bus?" Again, I shake my head. Josh exhales slowly through his nose. "You should go to bed once we get to the lodge. It'll be close to ten by the time everyone else gets here and gets settled in."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not a child, Josh. You can't just put me to bed. Especially not this early."

"A nap, then."

"No."

Josh scowls. "Charlie, come on. Aren't you at least a little tired?"

I walk faster to put some distance between us, even though I have no idea where the hell I'm going. _Just follow the path._ "I'm fine. Don't lecture me, _Joshua_ ; I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

He catches up to me easily; his legs are much longer than my own. "Hey, slow down there, buddy." I don't, but it doesn't matter. He grabs my bag and drags me to a stop. "Charlie."

"Josh."

He folds his arms across his chest and gives me a stern look, not unlike the kind my parents would give me whenever I was being particularly vexing. I match his pose and expression, not backing down. I don't care how hard I have to fight him on this. There's nothing wrong with me getting less hours of sleep than normal. Everyone does from time to time.

We have our stare down for a few minutes before Josh finally sighs and comes forward to hug me. My body is rigid against his until he tickles me, and then I laugh and shove him off me. He's smiling now when he looks at me. "I just worry about you sometimes."

"So you can worry about me but I'm not allowed to worry about you?"

Josh frowns. "You don't have any reason to worry about me."

I scowl at him. "Well, you don't have any reason to worry about me, either."

Again, we resort to staring, trying to get the other to back down. Sensing that neither of us will, Josh grabs my elbow like before and drags me back along beside him, shaking his head as we go. "Why do you have to fight me on everything?" he asks, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Because I'm always right, and I need to prove it to you." I smile at him to show I'm only joking. He smiles back. "How much farther?"

Josh wraps an arm around me and gives me a side hug. "It's just right up here. You ready for _awesomeness_?" I giggle. "Don't you laugh at me, Charlotte Day. This is going to be the best weekend of your _entire life_ , swear to God."

I wink. "You sound a little overconfident, don't you think?"

He waves his hand at me, dismissing my words. "Never."

We round a corner in the path, and I finally catch sight of it. The lodge is enormous, to put it lightly. Definitely not as large at the Washingtons' place in Los Angeles, for sure, but it's still one of the largest homes I've had the luxury of being around. It looks like a cabin, but on a much grander scale. Josh taps beneath my chin and closes my open mouth with a chuckle. "Surprised?" he asks.

I shake my head slowly, still taking it all in. "I mean, I shouldn't be. But, yeah."

He laughs at me again and jogs up to the front door, gripping the doorknob tightly in his hand. He pulls a key out from his pocket and tries to insert it into the keyhole, but, from the looks of it, it isn't working. "Problem?" I ask, going to stand just a step behind him.

"Lock's frozen," he grumbles. "The doorknob probably is too. Fuck." He slides the key back into his pocket and sits down on the steps, putting his chin in his hands. "Now I've gotta figure out how to get us inside before you freeze to death."

I smile wanly. "Yeah, that'd be nice. What're you gonna do?"

He shrugs. "Wait for the others, I guess. Multiple heads are better than our two, right?" I nod. "Chris'll probably have an idea. He watches a lot of spy movies, anyway."

I nod and settle in beside Josh, sliding over until our coats are pressed together. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, nodding toward our close proximity. I stick my tongue out at him. "Body heat, right? I'm not really looking to die from the cold this weekend." Josh nods again, giving me a look like he doesn't believe me. "Oh, shut up." In truth, my heart is nearly beating out of my chest at how close we are.

We're silent for a while, just watching the snow-covered trees and darkening sky. There are plenty of lights around for us to see by, so at least we're not stuck out here in the pitch black darkness. Josh hums quietly to himself as he leans back against the steps, hands clasped behind his head. It sounds faintly like the _Star Wars_ theme music. Nerd. But at least he seems okay. I think, anyway.

"Josh?" He hums. "Are you still doing okay?"

I can feel his heated gaze on the back of my head. "Stop asking me that."

I turn toward him. His expression softens a little, but he still seems irritated. "I know you hate when I ask, but, Josh - " He rolls his eyes at me. " - I just want to make sure you're alright. It has to be hard, being back here after - "

"I'm fine," he snaps, cutting me off. I recoil a little, but if he notices, he doesn't care. "God, can't you stop bothering me?"

I'm used to these mood swings. They aren't new, but I hate them. "Would you tell me if you weren't okay?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

He doesn't answer. I reach for him, but he sits up suddenly and stands just as quickly. Before I can really realize what's happening, he's walking down the steps and toward the path leading back to the cable car, his hands beginning to ball into fists at his sides. "Where are you going?" I call after him.

"To wait for Chris." A few steps later, the trees have swallowed him.

oOoOo

 _I'm completely lost. Two days on campus and I still can't really figure out my way around to all the buildings. The map I was provided isn't the greatest; I'm going to be late to every one of my classes if I keep it up like this._

 _I glance around at my surroundings. I'm on central campus, trying to avoid bumping into anyone as I make my way through the crowd of students. This is what I get for transferring in the middle of the year. All lost with no helpful guidance. I'd ask one of the students around me, but they either look like upperclassmen who could eat me alive, are standing with groups of their own friends, or are eating lunch. Fuck._

 _Off to the side of the cluster of humans, I spot someone sitting alone at one of the picnic tables. He's hunched over, his arms wrapped around his body like he's trying to keep warm. That seems unusual to me; we're in California. Even though it's January, the weather is still nice as ever. But he's alone, and he doesn't look like he's doing anything, so that's good enough for me._

 _I head over, doing my best to not step on the people lounging on blankets in the grass. As I get closer, I can hear him singing quietly. Or is it talking? There's no one around, though..._

 _"Um, hi," I say, coming to a stop beside him. He doesn't look up. "Hello? I just had a question. I-I can't find this building - "_

 _"Why are you talking to me?"_

 _I jump, surprised. He's looking at me, his green eyes dull. "Um, what?"_

 _"Why are you talking to me?" he repeats. His words would come off harsh if he didn't look so confused._

 _I don't know how to respond. "Um, I just need to find this building. Would you be able to point me in the right direction?" His hands are fidgeting. "Are you okay?"_

 _He starts to laugh, which makes me uneasy. "No," he says, shaking his head. "I'm not okay. You must be new."_

 _He pats the spot next to him on the picnic bench and I sit down, albeit hesitantly. "Uh, yeah, I just transferred here a few days ago. After winter break." Something changes in his face and he looks away from me for a moment. "How'd you know I'm new?"_

 _He looks around at all of the students milling around in the grass or walking to and from classes. "They all know me here." He glances around for a while longer before offering me his hand to shake. I place my hand in his; he squeezes it briefly and then lets go. "Josh Washington," he says._

 _"Charlotte Day," I reply. "Um, but you can call me Charlie. If you want, I mean."_

 _"Charlie." He smiles a little. "Nice to meet you."_

 _I smile back, a bit curiously. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or just keep me in suspense?"_

 _He bites the corner of his lip. "Nothing's wrong, actually."_

 _I can see the way his hands shake and how hard he's trying to keep them still, particularly when he runs them through his dark hair. His green eyes are anxious, plain as day, but brighten a little when he smiles. He tugs on his shirtsleeves and twitches his lips, not quite a smile but not quite a frown. "Bullshit," I say._

 _Josh gives a short laugh. "Not that great of an actor, am I?" He sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. He's handsome - tan skin, strong jaw - he could be an actor if he wanted to be, just based on looks. Hollywood isn't blind; they know an attractive man when they see one. "Do you really want to know?"_

 _I nod, but then shake my head. "I mean, only if you want to tell me."_

 _He smiles. "It's okay." Clearing his throat, he looks down and then looks back up at me. "There was an accident in my family. Just over break."_

 _His voice breaks and he looks away. I can see the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he tries to take in enough air. The hand closest to me reaches out, fingers splayed wide. I take it in my own and squeeze it gently. Why I'm doing this for a stranger, I have no idea. But I'm friendly, I guess, and he looks like he's struggling._

 _"Just breathe," I say. I give him a reassuring smile. "You're okay."_


	3. THREE

|| THREE ||

The lack of cell reception is a little troubling - what if something happens? - but I'm not too upset about it. I had wanted to text Sam and ask when she was going to be here, just because I was kind of nervous about waiting by myself. I was going to go after Josh, but I don't think he really wants to see me right now. Not to mention I've never been here before, so I'll probably get hopelessly lost if I try. So here I sit, waiting for someone, _anyone_ , to show up and keep me company.

I don't have to wait exceedingly long. After about fifteen minutes or so of sitting on the frigid steps trying to keep my hands and face warm, Ashley arrives with someone else in tow. He's got darker skin, a letterman jacket, and a scowl. Judging from what Josh has told me about the friends I haven't met, this one is Matt.

Ashley breaks into a grin and waves when she sees me. "Charlie! Hey!" She jogs over, stooping to give me a hug. She squeezes me tightly, which is nice - at this point, I'll take all the body heat I can get. She steps back and looks around, seeming confused. "Didn't you come here with Josh? Where is he?"

I shrug. "He said he was going to find Chris." A grin spreads across my lips, even though I am slightly worried about where Josh ran off to. "Speaking of Chris..."

"Stop it right now," Ashley says, moving to cover my mouth with her hand.

"Looking forward to spending some quality time with Chris?" I say teasingly. She's had a crush on him for a while, and I know he feels the same way about her. He actually confessed it to me once. Ashley's face is as red as her hair. She looks away from me. "Oh, come on. I'm just teasing."

Ashley frowns at me, but her eyes are shining - she's not mad. "Yes, I am excited to spend time with Chris. I'm excited to spend time with all of you. And that's it."

I laugh and she smiles proudly, sitting on the step in front of me and pivoting so she can see me when she talks to me. While we were speaking, Matt (I'm pretty sure his name is Matt) had walked over and is now standing at the foot of the stairs, a shy smile on his face instead of the scowl he'd had before.

He holds out his hand to me. "Hey, I'm Matt. You're Charlie, aren't you?" I nod. "Awesome. Nice to meet you. Emily was telling me about you on our way up."

When he says Emily's name, he sounds bitter. I look at Ashley in question. She glances at Matt, who shrugs and goes to lean against the railing. She turns back to me. "We caught Mike and Emily on the trail. I'm not really sure what they were doing. It looked like they were hugging, but, y'know." She shrugs. "We aren't sure."

"It's nothing good," Matt mumbles. "It's never good when it comes to her."

Josh had mentioned something to me at some point about Emily having dated Mike before. When Mike broke up with her, he moved on to Jessica, who I met once briefly. Emily had gone after Matt. I've met Emily before as well, and while I wasn't overly enthused about her attitude or the way she talks to some of her friends, I wasn't too bothered by her. She seemed decent enough at the time.

"You don't know that she meant anything harmful by it, though," I say. Honestly, I have no idea. I don't know their relationship; I'm just trying to be comforting.

Matt shrugs again. "Yeah, I guess." He goes quiet for a beat, glancing around, and then looks back to me. "Why are we waiting outside? It's freezing out here."

I give him a small smile. "Door's frozen shut. Josh was going to find Chris so they could figure out a way to get in."

"Why didn't the two of you just do it?" Ashley asks.

I shrug. "I don't know my way around the lodge. I wouldn't be much help."

Ashley grins. "Yeah, it's a pretty big place. A weekend here and you'll have it down in no time, though. The main floors aren't too bad, but the basement is a bit of a maze."

"Can't imagine why I'd need to go down to the basement anyway," I say. I'm hoping not, at least. Basements are creepy. Unless they have one of those cool finished basements. Or an indoor pool. As long as the pool is heated, I can be convinced to go down there.

Matt kicks at the snow in front of him. "Guess we're stuck out here, then."

Ashley leans back against my knees and looks up at me. "How's Josh doing? I know the two of you have gotten pretty close in the last year. Is he okay being up here?"

"I mean, it was his idea," I say. I frown a little, thinking of the way he'd snapped at me when I asked how he was doing. "I think he's fine. If he's not, he's doing a great job of hiding it. I can usually tell when he's struggling."

Ashley past my knee with her gloved hand. "He's lucky to have a friend like you. Especially with Chris and Sam away at college. I think he needs someone a bit more than he likes to let on." She shrugs one shoulder. "But what do I really know? I'm not as close with him. I only get invited 'cause I'm friends with Chris and Sam."

I smile at her and shake my head. "No, Josh like you. At least he seems like he likes you." I laugh. "He's never told me he doesn't. And I doubt you'd be here if he hated you."

She nods. "Yeah. I mean, he invites Emily. And I'm more likeable than her." She clamps her mouth shut quickly and looks at Matt, who smiles. "I'm so sorry." Her cheeks are flushed pink from embarrassment.

"It's fine," he says. "You're not wrong."

Ashley giggles a little and directs her attention back at me. "But he really is okay?"

I set my hand on top of her head and make like I'm ruffling her hair, when all I'm really doing is moving her beanie around. "Yeah, he's okay. And, anyway, he promised to tell me if he isn't." Well, not exactly. "Don't worry - he wants to enjoy this weekend just as much as any of the rest of you."

There's the sound of feet crunching through snow, and then Josh appears through the trees, closely followed by Chris and Sam. I feel Ashely perk up when she sees Chris and try to hide my smile. Sam sees me and waves; I wave back.

"Josh," I say, trying to get his attention. He ignores me, saying something to Chris instead, who gives me a sympathetic smile. I frown, and he makes a funny face at me to get my expression to change. I laugh.

"Hey guys," Josh says, looking at Matt and Ashely and waving. "Get up here okay?"

"Yeah," Ashley says. "Well, more or less. But it's so good to see you!"

Josh smiles at her and walks closer, glancing at Matt, who is back to scowling at the ground, and then glancing behind him at Sam and Chris. "What's up with him?" he asks, indication toward Matt. They shrug.

Josh and Chris walk past Ashley and me and head up the stairs. Josh grabs the doorknob again and tries to unlock the door. It doesn't budge. "Did you think it was going to be unfrozen in the, like, half hour you were gone?" I ask sarcastically, looking back at him. He rolls his eyes at me and looks at Chris. The two of them have a hushed conversation, and then they head back down the stairs.

"Lead the way, Cochise," Josh says with a laugh. I'm slightly annoyed that he's ignoring me, but I at least have to be happy that he seems alright.

At the bottom of the stairs, still without having looked at me, Josh heads off toward the side of the lodge. Chris stop in front of Ashley and me and breaks into a sly grin. "How's it going, Charlie?" he asks. "Still going after that law degree?"

"Gotta make it through undergrad first," I say, running a hand through my hair. There's a hat in my bag, I just forgot to get it out. My ears are regretting it. "Still looking into computer tech?"

"You know it," he says with an overly exaggerated wink. Then he looks down at Ashley, who is staring expectantly at him. The goofy expression fades and is replaced by an air of what I think he's hoping is "suave". "Hey, Ash," he says.

Ashley gives a small wave. "Hi, Chris."

"So, how're you doing?" he asks.

She hums. "Good, but a little cold." She fakes a shiver. I'm starting to feel weird listening in on their conversation, but, I mean, I'm sitting _right there_. "I think I could use some time curled up by the fire."

"Yeah, that does sound pretty nice," Chris says. His cheeks are pink. "I'm gonna go see if Josh and I can find a way into the lodge. Nice seeing you again, Charlie." He waves at us and then sets off after Josh.

Sam walks up next, leaning against the railing in front of us. "Hey, guys. How's it going?"

"I'm freezing," Ashley and I say at the same time. The three of us laugh.

Sam comes up the steps and sits beside me, giving me a side hug. "Haven't seen you in a while. Doing okay?" I nod. "How about Josh? It's been a while since I've seen him, too."

I shrug. "Josh is fine."

Sam stares at me for a few moments, gauging whether or not I was telling the truth. Honestly, I don't know if I was. Yes, Josh kept insisting that he was okay, but was he actually? He's tried to play the game before where he pretends nothing is wrong, but it doesn't last as long as I think he'd like it to. If this is just a front he's putting up for everyone to be fooled by, it's nearing the time where it usually cracks and can be seen through. But it's hard to know when he's pushing me away like this.

I sigh. He's done it before, he's doing it now, and he'll probably do it again. It'll all be alright.

"Why is he ignoring you?"

Sam's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I blink slowly and shake my head. "I don't know." Ashley and Sam are watching me. "I asked him if he was okay. Excessively, I guess." I shake my head again. "I wouldn't ask him too much. If he's not okay, he'll let someone know."

"You're sure?" Ashley says.

I nod. "I trust him."

oOoOo

 _Weeks later, I'm in Josh's room, lounging across his bed while he tries his hand at his biology homework. It's been mostly silent in the room, save for his pen scratching against notebook paper. I'm catching up on my reading for one of the English classes I'm in. It's not overly interesting, but I'm trying my best not to fall behind. I can't afford to fail._

 _Every now and again Josh looks back at me and smiles. I don't really know how it happened, but after talking to him that first day, something clicked; we've been pretty much inseparable since then. He didn't have a lot of friends on campus, and I just didn't have any friends at all, and I guess I was the first one to not scoot around him after finding out what happened to his sisters over break. The investigation over their disappearance is still going on, but nothing has come out of it yet. Most of the time he seems like he's holding it together, but I can usually tell when he's not._

 _We've been studying for about an hour and a half when Josh suddenly throws down his pen and lays his head on his desk, groaning loudly. "Biology fucking sucks," he grumbles._

 _I close my book and set it aside, sitting up on the bed. "Take a break, then. You've been at it for a while."_

 _"It needs to get done, though."_

 _"Well, it isn't going to get done at all if you're burnt out and frustrated with it."_

 _He sighs and pushes his chair away from his desk, roughly enough that it makes the items on his desk wobble. The framed photo of his family nearly topples over, but he catches it just in time. For a moment, he looks as though he's on the verge of tears. But then the expression fades and he sets the picture back on his desk, his look of slight irritation back on._

 _I open up my laptop and pat the space next to me on the bed. "Come sit with me. We can watch YouTube videos or Netflix or something."_

 _Josh does as I said and lays down on the bed beside me, leaving enough space for me to put the laptop in between us. "I'm cool with whatever. Your choice."_

 _"I hate it when you make me pick."_

 _He sticks his tongue out at me and chuckles. "Too bad."_

 _We had started watching_ Supernatural _together at the recommendation of one of his friends form home, so I log into Netflix and pull up the next episode we're on. We're in the middle of the fifth season, which is my favorite season so far, on the episode "Sam, Interrupted". Josh gets up to turn the lights off; when he comes back, I hit "play"._

 _Sam and Dean, the main characters, admit themselves to a psychiatric ward to stop a monster. Josh's face is lit up from the laptop screen; his expression is troubled. With one hand, I reach out and poke his nose. "Still thinking about that biology assignment?" I know he isn't._

 _"Do you think I should do that?" he asks, still watching the show. "Check myself into one of those?"_

 _I try to smile. "So you can fight monsters too?" He looks at me, expressionless. "No, I don't think you should. You're doing better, aren't you?" He shrugs. "What does Dr. Hill think?"_

 _Josh shrugs again. "He's still got me on amitriptyline. I don't know, Charlie." He sighs and rolls onto his back. I pause the episode and set the laptop off to the side. "I don't think the medication is working. Like, I thought for a while it was, but after - " He swallows audibly, takes a breath, and starts again. "After what happened on the mountain, I think I've just gotten worse. And I've been doubling my doses, because I want to get better and that's - that's gotta be how I do it, right? But nothing is working and just talking isn't working and God it just feels like I'm always on edge and always - always so_ angry _and I don't know what to do, Charlie."_

 _His hand reaches out, desperately searching for my own. I give it to him, squeezing his fingers and trying to be as reassuring as I can. I don't know what he's going through. I can't sympathize with how he's feeling. But I know he's close to an attack, and I do know how to handle that._

 _"Josh," I say quietly, soothingly. "Just breathe. You're okay."_

 _"I don't think I'm okay," he says. "I'm not okay. I failed them. I'm the older brother, I was supposed to always look out for them and protect them, and I couldn't even do that. Fuck, I'm so fucked up. I failed them. I'm a failure."_

 _I scoot closer to him and lay my other hand against his cheek; his skin is damp. "It's not your fault."_

 _"It is my fault."_

 _I shake my head. Considering how dark it is in the room, I'm sure he can't see it. "It's not your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done. You were passed out; you didn't know what was going to happen. No one did."_

 _Josh is quiet for a while. I can feel his breath on the palm of my hand. It had been quick, short gasps of breath before. The longer we lay here, the slower his breathing gets, until it's pretty much normal again. "I want to get better," he says softly. "I just don't know how."_

 _"I know." I run my hand over his face, gently, and stroke his cheek with my thumb. "Why don't you take a nap, Josh? The biology homework can wait. Okay?"_

 _For a moment, he doesn't respond. And then he nods. "Right. Yes. The biology homework can wait." He exhales slowly, squeezing my hand. "Are you gonna sleep too?"_

 _I shake my head again. "No, I'll stay awake. But you should sleep. I'm here if you need me."_

 _"Always," he whispers. I blush, thankful that he can't see it. "Thank you, Charlie."_

 _I smile. "Always."_


	4. FOUR

|| FOUR ||

We wait outside for what feels like forever before the front door to the lodge finally opens. Chris stands in the doorway, triumphant, still holding the lighter and spray deodorant that he had used to literally _flamethrower_ the door. Well, at least it's not frozen anymore.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week," he says, bowing grandly.

Some small, furry animal comes leaping through the doorway and out into the snow, making Chris shriek and Sam, Ashley, and me step out of the way in surprise. _How the hell did that get inside?_

Chris sighs, looking embarrassed. "Crap, that thing freaked me out."

Ashley is laughing at him, as am I. "What was it?" she asks, stifling her giggles. "Are you okay?"

He looks behind him, like he's making sure there's not another one behind him. "It was like a bear, or a tiger, or something - "

Sam cuts him off. "Aw, it was just a cute like baby wolverine," she coos, teasing him.

"Baby?" Chris says indignantly.

Josh takes that moment to appear out of nowhere and jog up the steps, pushing past me without so much as a glance. Of course. "Don't worry, buddy," he says cheekily. "You're gonna be a big boy soon."

Sam and Ashley walk inside to join Chris, closely followed by Matt. Josh turns around and finally - _finally_ \- looks at me, a sheepish smile on his face. "Hey, Charlie, I'm sorry," he says apologetically. "I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just..." He trails off, looking around like he might find inspiration from the trees. "I don't want this weekend to be spent just being asked if I'm okay. If I wasn't okay, I wouldn't be back here, y'know?"

I give him half a smile. "I know."

He grins at me, reaching out to put his hands on my shoulders. "I know you're worried about me. And I appreciate it, I really do." He laughs a little, making me laugh as well, even though I'm not sure what it is we're laughing at. "No more asking if I'm okay. I'll tell you if I'm not. Okay?"

I nod. "Alright, fine."

He winks at me and grabs onto the sleeve of my coat, tugging me across the threshold and into the lodge. "Come on, it's too cold to be standing around out here."

"Oh, like I haven't been doing it for the last hour?"

Josh rolls his eyes at me, a smile on his face. "Don't be so dramatic."

We take the lead, Josh pushing us ahead of everyone else. We're in what looks like the living room. There are plush couches and chairs set around the room. From the ceiling hangs some weird looking object, which really looks like a giant cage in the shape of a circle. Strange.

"Home, sweet home," Josh says, looking down at me. He's grinning. He seems relieved to be back.

Matt follows in behind us, carrying a suitcase in each hand. Emily's? "'Sweet' is not the word I'd use," he says, setting the suitcases down by the wall.

"Oh my gosh, it is _so_ good to be inside," Ashely says. "Even if it's still kinda freezing in here."

"I'll get a fire going." Josh, still holding onto my coat sleeve, drags me with him over to the fireplace. It's raised a few inches off the ground; I sit beside it, watching Josh mess around with it.

"This place barely looks any different." Matt turns in a circle, gazing around the room.

Josh gives me a wry smile and then looks at Matt. "Yeah, nobody's been up here."

"Even with all the police coming in and out?" Ashley asks.

Chris takes the liberty of answering. "Not a lot of action up here lately."

"Nope," Josh says, agreeing. He looks down, a frown on his face. I lay a hand on his shoulder and it's like all of the tension flows out of his body. He rests his cheek against the back of my hand.

He jerks away from me quickly as soon as a shout comes from the doorway. "What's up, party people!" Mike strolls in, arms above his head with Jessica close behind him.

"Hey," she says, drawing the word out.

"Hey," Josh replies. He's looking anywhere but at me. There's a blush rising on his neck. "Make yourself at home, bro."

Mike gives Josh a half salute. "Will do," he says. Then he nods to me. "Hey there, Charlie. Long time, no see."

I grin. "Hey, Mike."

Matt starts speaking from where he's sitting in one of the chairs. His tone is bitter. "Yeah," he says. "Come on in. Take a load off. Have whatever you want." His eyes are blazing as he pushes himself to his feet and stalks over to where Mike stands, surprised. "You just take whatever you want anyways, right?"

Josh is giving me a sideways glance, his eyes wide. I press a finger to my lips to shush him. He doesn't know what happened between Mike and Emily earlier, if anything really happened at all. I'm still not sure, but, then again, I wasn't there to witness it.

"Woah," Mike says, holding up his hands. "Easy there, cowboy." Mike's southern - I'm convinced of it. Either that, or he has family down south. Sometimes he says things that don't make any sense.

Matt cuts straight to the chase. "What the hell were you doing with Em out on the trail, huh?" Again, Josh gives me a confused look, but I shush him once more. I'll explain it to him after they've all cooled down.

"What?" Mike says.

Matt rolls his eyes. "I saw you and Em. Through the telescope."

"Before?" Mike sounds both defensive and kind of confused. I'm not sure who I'm rooting for or whose team I'm on. I like Mike, and I've only just met Matt, but if there's something not right going on, I don't want involved. I'm keeping a hand on Josh's arm so he does the same. "We just ran into each other. It'd been a while, so we hugged and I said hello. Is that against the law?"

Matt's silent for a moment. I can see him exhale slowly, and it's like the tension flows out with it. "Right," he says. He rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah. Duh." He gives Mike a half smile. "Sorry, it's been kind of a long day. I overreacted."

Mike smiles back. "Nah, man, don't worry about it."

"We cool?" Matt asks. I have to smile. _Boys_.

"Yeah, yeah. Totally," Mike says. Matt goes back to sit in the chair he was occupying before, and Mike heads over to sit on the couch with Jess.

It's quiet in the room, save for Mike and Jess making out on the couch and Josh swearing as he pokes around at the fireplace. "What the hell was that all about?" Josh whispers to me so Matt can't hear; he's the one sitting closest to us.

I shrug. "I dunno, I guess Ashley and Matt caught Emily hugging Mike out on the trail. Or something like that, anyway. They weren't really sure. Matt got upset about it, though."

Josh gives me a grim smile. "Rightly so."

"Oh, my God. That is so gross," comes another voice from the direction of the front door. Emily comes strolling into the room seconds later, bitch-mode already activated. It's usually activated, as far as I've witnessed and been told. But that's alright; we all have our moments. "Are you trying to swallow his face whole?"

I hear Josh sigh from beside me. I know he's not overly fond of Emily. He told me once that he invites her along because she's friends with Sam, and he doesn't want to be unfair about it. I rub the space between his shoulder blades, easing the tension out of him. This is his weekend to relax and reconnect with his friends so he can move past what happened last year. I'm determined to make it great for him.

Matt makes an attempt to calm his girlfriend down before she can go on, but she cuts him off quickly. "Seriously, can she be any more obvious?" She nods toward Mike and Jess, who have now broken apart. Matt quickly gets to his feet and goes over to her, seeming like he's trying to quell the storm before it can happen. "No one wants in on your territory, honey."

"Excuse me, did you say something?" Jess asks, fixing Emily with a cold stare. She too gets to her feet.

I don't know how I got stuck sitting here watching all sorts of drama unfold, but I'm not exactly upset about it. "Where's the popcorn at?" I whisper to Josh, who chuckles quietly.

"Oh did you not hear me?" Emily says. "Was your sluttiness too loud?"

Mike, at this point, is just sitting back while his current girlfriend handles herself. "Sounds like someone's bitter she didn't make the cut," Jess taunts.

"Yeah," Emily says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's all a big cattle call with that dreamboat. Congrats, you're top cow."

I snort; Josh clamps a hand over my mouth.

Jess is slowly closing the distance between her and Emily. Matt is standing feebly by, scratching his neck like he's not sure when to intervene. I'm expecting to see hair pulling in two seconds. "Cuts real deep, calling Miss Homecoming a cow."

 _No, Jess, don't flaunt being Miss Homecoming._ I roll my eyes a little.

Matt takes that moment to step in. "H-hey, you're making everyone uncomfortable, Jess - "

"Jealous much?" Jess cuts in. "Emily too frigid for you, too?"

Mike is giving me a wide-eyed look from across the room, like he wants me to step in. Me? It's not my girlfriend engaged in a catfight with my ex-girlfriend. He's on his own.

"Hey, that's - that's uncalled - look - " Matt is stuttering.

"Whatever," Jess says, cutting him off again. She starts to walk back to Mike. "I don't give a crap what you think."

Emily, who apparently had been silent for far too long, take that moment to jump in. "At least I _can_ think. Four-point-oh, bitch. Honor roll. Suck on that when you're trying to sleep your way into a job."

I start to laugh, but again, Josh covers my mouth with his hand to shush me. "You're just gonna provoke them," he hisses in my ear.

Jess whips around immediately upon hearing Emily. "Who needs grades when you've got _all_ the natural advantages you can handle." She motions at her body. Gotta admit, she's very fit. Emily rolls her eyes, unimpressed. "You couldn't buy a moldy loaf of bread with your skanky ass."

Now Emily laughs. "Are you serious? Do you think that's insulting?"

Jess again whips herself around, this time to Mike. She stabs her finger in Emily's direction, however. "That bitch is on _crack_ or something."

Mike is silent. Matt steps in once more. "Emily, stop!" The room goes silent for a moment. "This is out of hand. There's no reason to fight like this."

"Yeah, Em!" Jess sasses. "Why you pickin' fights over your ex-boyfriend? Huh?"

"Got her there," I whisper to Josh. Immediately, Josh is on his feet.

"Stop it!" he snaps. Everyone in the room jumps, myself included. "This is not why we came up here." His voice gets quieter. "This is not helping. It's not what I wanted." He walks toward the middle of the room, eyes locked on the feuding females. I remain sitting, watching, waiting for the moment I need to step in. "If we can't get along for ten minutes, then maybe we need a little bit of a break, right?" He looks toward the couch. "Mike - why don't you check out the guest cabin. The one I told you about."

Mike finally gets to his feet. "Yeah. Yeah, alright." He holds his hand out to Jess. "Wanna go do that?"

When Jess speaks, there's less heat to her voice. Still though - always have to have the last word. "Any place without that whore." And then she turns and takes her boyfriend's hand.

"It's right up the trail," Josh says. He comes back to my side and squats down in front of the fireplace again, still poking around at shit.

As soon as Mike and Jess are outside and therefore out of earshot, Matt sighs. "Glad that's over." He walks over to join us at the fireplace. "So, Josh. Uh, should we get this fire going?"

Matt hardly has time to so much as glance at the fireplace before Emily asserts her presence again. "Where's my bag?"

Josh gives me a sideways glance and exhales slowly through his nose as Matt walks away to deal with his girlfriend. After a couple minutes of arguing, they're gone, sounding like they're heading back toward the cable car. "This is ridiculous," Josh mutters. I smile at him and pull the gray beanie off his head, sticking it on my own, which gets him to elicit his own smile to match mine. "Hey, give it back," he says. He's grinning now.

I shrug cheekily. "I dunno, Josh, I think it suits me."

"It does, but my ears are cold, so hand it over." Choosing not to wait for me to comply, he grabs the top of the hat and yanks it off my head with a wide smile. "Sorry, Charlie. Maybe next time."

We sit in silence for a few moments, Josh just crouching and staring at the empty fireplace, before he stands up. "Shit. I need to give Mike the keys to the cabin." He ruffles my hair and walks off. "I'll be back in a second. Wait here."

I do as he says and cross my legs, propping my chin up with my hand. Sam waves at me from across the room. She's standing with Ashley and Chris by the stairs, the latter two talking quietly. Sam rolls her eyes, indicating toward the not-quite couple. I start to motion for her to come and sit with me, but then Josh returns.

"Charlie!" he sings, drawing out the last syllable. It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Want a tour?"

I'm on my feet in seconds, grabbing my bag and hefting it onto my shoulder. Damn right I want a tour of this lodge. It's _enormous_. The Washington family spares no expense, from the looks of it. I'd like to be able to throw money around like that someday. I want a mountain, too.

He holds his hand out to me as I start to walk over. For a moment, I hesitate. Does he want me to hold his hand? I mean, it obviously looks like he does, he's reaching for me. But is it because he's close to having an attack? He said he would tell me if he wasn't doing okay anymore. Is this his way of showing that? Or does he want to just - hold my hand?

I make an effort to keep my hands at my sides, but as soon as I reach him, Josh grabs my hand anyway. I can feel my face heating up. If I'm not already blushing, I'm about to be. _Stop it. He's held your hand like this a million times in the past year._ But it was always because he was shaking and needed to be calmed down. And never has it been in front of other people.

Sam winks at me as Josh tugs me past her. He leads me up the stairs, meaning we have to squeeze past Chris and Ashley, who are laughing about something. Josh winks at me now and jerks his head toward the two of them. My heart is beating too quickly. _Stop it._ "What do you think so far?" Josh asks as we reach the first landing. We head up the second set of stairs. "I mean, you haven't seen much, but still."

"I love it," I say sincerely. "It's so beautiful up here." I smile a little. "I bet it'll be even better once the heat is on."

"Well, we could get warmer in other ways." My eyes widen. Josh chuckles. "I'm just kidding, Charlie. Don't get mad."

My face feels like it's on fire. "I'm not mad," I mumble.

Josh laughs again as we step onto the second landing. He still has a tight hold on my hand. "You okay?" I ask. Josh turns a disappointed gaze to my face and I almost flinch, but I'm quick to explain myself. "You're holding my hand, which always happens when you're starting to have a panic attack." I frown. "I know you said you'd tell me; I thought this was your way of doing that."

The cold expression on his face warms up immediately and he looks down at his boots with a miniscule smile. "No, I'm fine," he says. "I promise."

"Then why - "

Josh tugs me to a stop outside a door. "You sure you're cold?" he asks. His green eyes looks concerned. "Your face is really red. You're overheating." I'm still really cold, as a matter of fact. "Here."

He drops my hand in favor of grabbing the zipper on my puffy black coat. I suck in a breath, all too conscious of how close he is to me. He makes quick work of the zipper, yanking it all the way to the bottom and revealing the plain black t-shirt I'm wearing underneath. Then he grabs my bag, which is still slung over my shoulder, and takes it away from me to set it aside.

Josh's hands are on my shoulders, underneath my coat, down my arms, dragging the coat off in one smooth motion. I shiver when his hands touch my skin, but I don't think he notices. _Stop it._

He tosses my coat over one of his arms and picks up my backpack. Rather than handing it back to me, he opens the door we stopped outside of and drops the bag just inside. "This'll be your room for the weekend, if that's okay."

I step inside and look around. The bed is huge, much larger than the bed in my room at college. It's covered with a patchwork quilt, looking to be made out of t-shirts that have been stitched together. I walk to it, running my hands over the fabric. It's been stitched onto thicker material to make it warmer. Reading the t-shirts, I can't help but smile. "Little League baseball, huh?" I turn to Josh, who is standing in the doorway with a sheepish smile on his face. "This is yours."

He joins me beside the bed, my coat still over his arm, and rubs his thumb against one of the t-shirt fronts. "My grandma made it for me, years ago, out of all the shirts I got from the teams and stuff I was on. There's shirts from different vacations, too." He's smiling softly. "She was great, my grandma. I think about her every time I'm in here."

"That's really sweet." He smiles at me. "Are you sure I should be in here?"

Josh wraps an arm around me and squeezes. "Of course. Where else would you be?"

I laugh. "Well this used to be a commercial ski lodge. I'm sure there are a million rooms here."

"They've all been claimed by everyone else. They got first dibs, y'know?" He chuckles. "Same rooms they've been staying in since we started doing this annual trip."

I sit on the bed, admiring the way I almost sink down into it. I run my hands over the quilt again. "And you stayed in here. This is your room."

He tucks his hands into his pockets and nods at me. "And yours for this weekend. Which means _I_ get the privilege of staying in the master suite, a.k.a. my parents' room."

I grin. "Lucky man."

"Feel free to join me at any time."

I roll my eyes and lay back against the pillows. My face had cooled off a bit since coming into the room, which could be attributed to how cold my arms are getting without my coat on, but now my cheeks are starting to heat up again. "You're a shameless flirt, Joshua."

"Why's your face still so pink?" he asks, looking at me curiously. "You can't still be warm. It's freezing in here." And then his eyes widen, and he starts to grin. "Are you _blushing_?"

"Shut up," I mutter, rolling away from him.

The mattress shifts. He got on the bed with me, it seems. "Charlie, look at me." I shake my head. "Come on, I wanna see your face. Lemme see that blush."

"Fuck off."

He grabs my shoulder and rolls me onto my back. I fold my arms across my chest and glare at him. He's unfazed. "I'm just teasing you, you know. Don't be so mad."

"I'm not mad," I grumble. _I'm just super embarrassed._

"Because you could never be mad at me, right?" I don't answer. "Right?"

I roll over to face him. His expression is serious, his green eyes staring into my blue ones like he's searching for the answer within them. When I reach out to touch his cheek, he wraps his fingers around my hand. "Of course I couldn't be mad at you," I say with a smile. "Who could ever be mad at you?"

"We'll see," he says. He looks away.

For a while, neither of us speak. We just lay on the bed in silence, Josh staring at the quilt and myself staring at him. He's worrying me. "Josh?"

Like he caught the concern, he perks up instantly. "Y'know what I want, Charlie?" he asks. I shrug. "For you to sleep. Or nap, at least."

I narrow my eyes. "No."

"Yes." My gaze sharpens. Josh merely smiles cheekily at me. "Just for a little while. Please? I want you to enjoy this weekend, not be groggy and hating everyone."

"It'll happen anyway," I say, trying my hand at a joke. He laughs. Mission accomplished. "What happened to our tour?"

Josh shrugs. "You can tour the lodge later. I want you to sleep and be well-rested. This weekend will be a lot more fun if you're not tired."

I stare at him for a few moments before sighing. "Fine. But only for a little while. An hour, at most."

Josh breaks into a grin, which lights up his entire face. I'd do whatever he asked just to see that expression everyday. "Awesome. Perfect." He clears his throat, a blush of his own starting to creep up his neck. "Um, do you want me to stay?"

I shake my head. "No, go be with your friends. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

He nods and climbs off the bed, picking my coat up from where he'd dropped it on the floor. "I'm gonna hang this up on the coat rack downstairs, if that's cool with you." I nod. "Awesome. Uh, sleep tight. See you in a while."

He heads for the door and walks outside. He glances back at me once before shutting it, and then he's gone.

oOoOo

 _There's very loud, very violent knocking on my door at around eight in the morning one Saturday a couple of weeks later. My roommate, Kate, rolls over and groans, grabbing a pillow and covering her head with it. "Get the door, Charlotte," she says, a tad bit harshly. I've gotten used to her attitude at this point._

 _I push myself into a seated position and stretch my arms above my head. Yawning, I set my book aside and crawl out of bed. I pad over to the door, readjusting the big t-shirt I've been wearing as a nightgown. Unlocking the door, I stick my head out into the hall. "Yeah?"_

 _Josh shoves his face in front of mine, nearly making me shriek in surprise. "Charlie!" He's grinning. It's not an emergency._

 _"What are you doing here?" I look him up and down, taking in the way he's fully dressed and smells like he just showered. "Why are you awake? It isn't noon yet."_

 _He frowns good-naturedly_ _at me and folds his arms across his chest, playing tapping his foot in mock impatience. "Did you forget that you're meeting Sam and Chris today? As in, like, right now? Fifteen minutes from now?"_

 _I exhale slowly and smack my head against the doorframe. "Fuck. No, I'm sorry, I totally forgot."_

 _The smile is back. "No biggie. Go put some pants on. I'm gonna wait here."_

 _"But, Josh, I haven't even showered - "_

 _"Just put some fucking pants on and get out of here," my roommate snaps from her bed._

 _Josh snorts. "She's a peach in the morning, isn't she?" I roll my eyes. "Nice to see you too, Kate."_

 _There's rustling from behind me as Kate all but falls out of bed in her haste to get to the door. "Josh!" she gushes, bumping me out of the way with her hip. "I didn't know it was you. How's it going? You haven't come to see me in a while."_

 _She opens the door wider, allowing Josh to fully see into our room. I hold the bottom of my shirt in place as I walk over to my dresser, trying to make sure he can't catch sight of anything he shouldn't. Kate, on the other hand, operates with much less discretion. She sleeps in a tiny tank top and underwear every night, no matter how cold it is outside or in our room. That's what she wears now as she leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms._

 _Josh, bless him, merely politely smiles at her and keeps his eyes locked onto hers. "It's going fine. Been busy lately. Sorry about that." He doesn't sound sorry in the least. "Hurry up, Charlie, we've got places to be."_

 _"Where are you going?" Kate asks._

 _"To meet up with a couple of his friends," I say, answering for Josh as I jump in a circle trying to get my jeans on. "Hey, am I supposed to look nice at all? How good of a first impression are you wanting me to make?"_

 _Josh chuckles. "You'll look great no matter what. Just get dressed so we can go."_

 _"Can I come too?" Kate asks. I can't see her face, but I can just imagine her batting her eyes at him._

 _Josh snorts. "No."_

 _I can practically hear the frown in her voice. "Why not?"_

 _"First of all, you're half naked and I'd rather not be seen in public with you looking like that." Josh's voice is snide. He's not normally this rude, to anyone, but I guess Kate finally struck his last nerve. She's always throwing herself at him whenever he comes around. He must get tired of it, I guess. "Second, you're not exactly the kind of person I want to introduce my friends to. We've already got one bitch in our group; we don't need another one."_

 _"Josh," I say firmly. I'm fully dressed at this point, sporting a sweatshirt over top of the t-shirt I wore to bed. I grab my wallet, phone, and room key and walk quickly over to him, setting a hand on his shoulder before he can say anything else. "That's enough."_

 _Kate is looking stunned. When she sees I've got a hand on the guy she's currently trying to win over, her expression hardens and she glares at me. "At least tell me the 'bitch' in your group is_ her _," she snaps._

 _Josh wraps an arm around my waist, probably just to spite her. "Nope. Not Charlie." And then he drags me out of the room and down the hall without so much as a goodbye to Kate. Oh well. "God, she's insufferable."_

 _"You didn't have to be so mean, you know," I say. "She's gonna make living with her absolute hell now."_

 _"It was already absolute hell." I shrug. "Oh, come on, Charlie. You know you deserve better than how she talks to you."_

 _I sigh. "She's not that bad most of the time."_

 _He rolls his eyes. "Do you ever notice how she's always like, half-naked when I come to see you?"_

 _"Yes." I've noticed it every time._

 _"Does she always dress like that?"_

 _I shrug. "Pretty much. I think she likes the attention, to be honest."_

 _He scoffs. "Well, she's not getting any from me."_

 _I have to hide the smile on my face. Excellent. Just the response I was wanting to hear. Hopefully he means it, too. "Oh, really?"_

 _It's his turn to shrug. "People shouldn't have to dress skimpy in order to be seen as attractive. It's not right."_

 _"That's pretty mature, coming from you," I say with a laugh. "You're literally the most inappropriate person I've ever met."_

 _He grins at me. "Just wait till you meet Chris. You'll love him." He squeezes my shoulder briefly and drops his hand back to his side. "Not as much as me, hopefully."_

 _I smile. "Oh, never as much as you," I say sarcastically. Really, though, it's true._

 _Josh laughs for a little bit. After a few moments, he sobers up and looks at me with that same serious expression he sometimes gets. It's rare - he's a goof by nature - but still, it shows up from time to time. "Charlie?" I hum. "You don't have to dress like Kate does to get attention from people. Especially not me." While I'm beginning to process what he's just said, he winks at me and breaks into a grin. "But if you_ wanted _to dress like that, I wouldn't be opposed to it."_

 _"Oh, stop it!" I smack his arm, a little frustrated. "I thought, just for a moment, that you were actually being a genuine person for once."_

 _"I am a genuine person, " he protests. "I mean it - you don't have to dress like a hoe just to impress me. Dress however you want in whatever makes you feel good about yourself." He grabs my shoulder and drags me to a stop, shaking me a little so I look him in the eye. "Don't do it because you want people to like you."_

 _I motion toward my outfit with a dry smile on my face. "Josh, in case you hadn't noticed, I couldn't give two shits about how people think I look. Just look at how I'm dressed today. You're preaching to the choir, dude."_

 _His intense expression fades and he lets go of me. A small smile creeps onto his face. "You look comfortable and happy."_

 _"I am."_

 _"Then that's all that matters." He grabs my arm and makes me walk faster, to the point that I'm almost jogging along beside him. "Come on. I'm missing out on crucial bro time with Chris."_


	5. FIVE

**This is one of those embarrassingly long chapters that I write every now and again, so enjoy. Also, if any of my chapters were to need a trigger warning, it's probably this one?**

|| FIVE ||

As soon as the door is shut and I hear Josh's footsteps head down the stairs, I push myself off the bed and pad across the room to my bag, which is still sitting by the door. I unzip it and reach inside, rooting around for the book I brought with me. I feel the spine beneath my fingers and grab it, tugging it out and tossing it onto the bed.

It's chilly in the room, but not enough that I need the sweatshirt I packed. I kick my boots off beside my bed and climb back onto the bed. The quilt is soft and looks crazy warm, so I peel the corner of it away from the sheets and wiggle underneath it. My toes, which had started to freeze on the hardwood floor, start to warm back up immediately.

I reach for my book and pull it into my lap, opening it up to the page I'd bookmarked. I'm about halfway through the book _Doctor Sleep_ by Stephen King. It's the sequel to _The Shining_ , which I read a few years back. Several sequels don't exactly live up to the glory of their predecessors, but _Doctor Sleep_ is actually really good, and I'm enjoying it immensely. Settling back against the pillows, I start to read.

From outside the door, I hear Sam telling the others that she's going to take a bath. _That sounds nice. A good way to warm up, at least._ Josh is talking with Ashley and Chris downstairs, though I can't exactly hear what they're saying. Not even five minutes after Sam headed for the bathroom, Josh yells up to her. "Sammy!"

"What?" she shouts back.

"You wanna help me get this fire going?"

"Um, well, I was just getting into the bath."

There's a pause before Josh speaks again. "Oh. Well, do you need any help with that?" Sam gives him a sarcastic laugh.

I can feel my ears getting a bit warm. Whether it's because it's really toasty beneath this quilt or because I'm overhearing things I don't particularly want to be, I have no idea. Well, maybe I have a little bit of an idea.

I wriggle a little in the bed to further submerge myself in the quilt. Just like yesterday when I'd been lying on his bed at home, everything in this room smells distinctly of Josh. Is that a weird thing to notice? It's just - it's nice. I don't know. I like it. Shaking my head, I go back to my book.

Not even five minutes after Sam and Josh had their little shout-fest, I hear Sam yelling again. "Alright, Josh, let's see if you know how to hook up the hot water in your big fancy lodge." Her tone is very sarcastic. A door opens from down the hall; the bathroom must be closer than I thought. Not long after, I catch the faint sound of footsteps on the stairs. "Hey, Josh, no water's kinda _major_ oversight, don'tcha think?"

"Yeah." Josh's voice is faint. No one is shouting anymore. "Yeah, just gotta fire up the boiler. It's in the basement." He says something about finding a spirit board - which sounds like a horrible idea, in my opinion - and then I hear Chris and Ashley's voices fade out, presumably as they head toward wherever the spirit board is located.

Honestly, in what world is using a spirit board a good idea?

Not long after, I hear Josh and Sam disappear toward the basement. I'm not really sure where it's at or how you get to it, but that's alright. I don't really want to go down there. I do, however, want to go down to the living room. I'm not tired, and I'm sick of listening to Josh and his friends talking and not being able to engage with them myself.

I stick my bookmark into the book to mark my page and then close it, holding it tightly in my hand as I slide off the bed. I pull the quilt back into place, making it seem like I was never under the covers at all. Crossing the room quickly, I open the bedroom door up and slip out into the hallway, looking around to see if Josh is anywhere to be seen. I know I heard him head off with Sam, but you never know.

Once I'm downstairs, I toss the book onto the couch. This is my opportunity to look around, considering I didn't get the tour that Josh said he's give me. The floor is a little cold, even with my socks on, but the more I walk, the warmer my toes get. At least the fire is going. There's a table off to the side of the room with what looks like a photograph lying on it. I cross over to it and pick it up. It's a photo of Mike, Sam, and Emily with another girl, who I recognize as one of Josh's sisters. They're twins, Hannah and Beth, but one has glasses and the other doesn't. This one does; I'm pretty sure Hannah was the one with the glasses. Flipping the photo over, there are words scrawled on the back. _4-25-2013. Ready for the senior prom! Hannah/Sam/Mike/Emily._

I turn the photo back over. They're all dressed to the nines, the three girls in gowns and Mike in a tux. Hannah's dress is sleeveless, allowing full view of the butterfly tattoo on her shoulder. I smile. The photo Josh carries around of the three of them doesn't show Hannah's tattoo. It's pretty.

The sounds of screams makes me jump and drop the photo back onto the small table. Screaming. Who's screaming? It sounds feminine for a moment, but then I catch the sound of a more masculine voice shouting as well. Scared. I've heard it before.

Josh.

I take off running in the direction I heard the screams coming form, trying my best to not slip and fall on the hardwood floor. There are enough rugs that it isn't too difficult of a time. I sprint down a short flight of stairs, distinctly hearing Sam's voice this time. "Oh come _on_ , why are these doors locked?"

There's frantic banging coming from my left. I dart in that direction just as Josh answers. "To keep out strangers!" Seems that worked really well.

The yelling and slamming against the door stops just as I reach it. And then Sam, sounding like she's gasping for breath, utters just a "What the hell?" What?

I reach for the doorknob and switch the lock off. Twisting the knob, I open the door. Josh and Sam whip around, Sam looking confused but relieved, Josh looking angry. Uh oh. Behind them stands Chris, who is wearing a monk robe and laughing at the shitty joke he just made. "So nobody's being brutally murdered?" I say awkwardly, feeling a little weird about walking in on someone else's prank, which clearly wasn't intended for me to see.

Sam chuckles, her frustration with Chris seeming to dissolve quickly. "Nope, not today."

She leads the way out of the basement, yelling at Josh and Chris as they tease her about being scared. I follow along behind them, a bit meekly, ignoring the heated glare Josh occasionally turns to me. Soon we're back in the living room. There Ashley stands, looking very confused at seeing Chris in a monk robe.

"What in God's name are you wearing?" she asks.

Chris makes a joke about finding his "true calling" to which Ashley counters with a plea that he take a vow of silence. I smile and try not to laugh when he pantomimes talking without making sound. Josh slinks up beside me and wraps an arm around my waist, looking down at me with a hardened gaze. I keep my attention on Chris and Ashley.

Chris grabs the spirit board out from the front of his robe and holds it aloft. "Here's our one-way ticket to the spirit realm."

"You know what? No," Sam says. She's standing at the bottom of the stairs. "I've just been through enough spooking for one night, okay? I see a hot bath in my crystal ball. Alright? So have fun." With that, she turns and jogs her way up the stairs. "Oh, but watch out for that Josh," she tosses over her shoulder. "He's a schemer."

Chris and Ashley head into a different room to set up the spirit board. I turn toward Josh, plastering a shy smile onto my face. "Got the boiler running, then? I heard Sam yelling about it."

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Josh says, ignoring my question. "You said you would."

I shrug meekly. "Well, I wasn't tired. I was reading." I motion toward my book, which is still sitting on the couch. "See? I came down here because I was tired of listening to you guys talking and not being able to be involved."

Suddenly there's a hand on the my face as Josh takes a step closer to me. His other hand is added half a second later, cupping my cheek, his thumb tracing a line beneath my eye. "You're worrying me," he says. "Sleep deprivation isn't good. We've talked about this. You can't function right if you're running on no sleep."

"I'm functioning just fine," I say bitterly. "I get a couple of hours a night. It's fine. And you're not supposed to be worrying about me, anyway. Not if I'm not allowed to worry about you."

"Maybe I can't help myself," he says in a low voice. My heart starts to beat a little faster. "Please, Charlie. If you're not going to sleep, at least lay down or something. Maybe if you read for a while, you'll get tired?"

I shake my head slowly, inadvertently nuzzling into the palm of his hand. "Josh, is there something that you don't want me to see?"

His eyebrows shoot up; I can see the alarm in his green eyes. "No. What? Why do you ask?"

I give a small shrug. I don't want to offend him. I'm afraid he'll fly off the handle if I do. I clear my throat a little before answering. "You just keep trying to lock me up upstairs. I don't need to sleep. Why do you keep pushing?" He bites his lip in a way that I find all too attractive, and I have to look away. "If you don't want me around then why did you bring me with you?"

"Hey." Both hands still on my face, Josh turns me back in his direction. "Hey. I do want you here. It's just that it's late, and tomorrow will probably be a lot more fun for you than tonight. And you just - " He breaks off and drops his hands back to his sides. He looks away. He's struggling with something; I can see it in his face, even when he refuses to look my way. Guess I know him too well at this point. Or do I?

"I just what?"

He sighs. Moments pass in which he says nothing to me, only breathes and trains his eyes on some middle distance that I can't see. "You worry me. And, yes, I've said that entirely too much tonight, but you do." He swallows, making a face like it pains him. "I'm worried that you're not taking care of yourself like you should be, because not sleeping isn't good for your health, and thinking about something happening to you kills me."

I reach for him, but he pulls away. "Josh - "

"I can't lose anyone else, Charlie." Josh's voice is quiet. I reach for him again. This time he stays, allowing me to lay a hand on his arm. He's shaking. "I just can't. Okay?"

I nod. "I understand. It's okay." I pat his arm lightly, trying to coax him into looking back at me. "It'll be okay. Right?" He shrugs. "It'll be fine. We're gonna have a great weekend. Everything is going to be fine."

Josh exhales slowly, nodding. "Everything is going to be fine," he echoes.

Smiling, I reach for my book on the couch. "I'll go attempt to nap upstairs. You go play with that spirit board with your friends; they've been waiting for forever." He laughs - music to my ears. "If you need me, I'll be there. Just yell."

Josh nods again. "Okay. I trust you." He pats my cheek with one hand, a soft smile on his face. "Sleep tight."

I chuckle. "Right. Have fun."

Josh heads off into the other room with Chris and Ashley while I head back up the stairs. Hopefully I can find the room I was in before without getting lost. This house is unnecessarily large, although I guess it would need to be, since it was a ski lodge at one point. But, still. I know I'm going to get lost at some point.

Surprisingly enough, finding my way back to Josh's bedroom was a cinch. Away from the heat that the fireplace was radiating, my toes are starting to get chilled again. I could put my boots back on, but I don't want to get the quilt dirty. That isn't very kind. Instead, I crawl back onto the bed and climb beneath the quilt once more, burrowing under with my book and cracking it open to where I'd left off.

It's nice, in a way, being by myself, despite how much I've been fighting Josh about trying to make me sleep. I know he's just trying to be a good friend to me, just as I'm trying to do for him. And it is kind of nice to be alone, lying beneath a quilt in a room that reminds me entirely of the friend I've only known for a year, curled up with a book by one of my favorite authors, fully immersed in the text while simultaneously listening to the sounds of the woods surrounding the lodge.

A loud screech hits my ears from outside. With a soft gasp, I drop my book onto my lap, startled. _What was that?_ I pause, listening. Minutes pass. Nothing. Chuckling a little under my breath, I pick my book back up. "You're imagining things, Charlie," I say to myself. "Too many scary stories. They're getting to your head."

I've no sooner found my page again when someone yelling makes me drop my book once more. This time, it's to the floor. The loud thud the book makes echoes in the room. I'm on my feet in seconds and out the door in another two. It's Josh. He's yelling. Ashley and Chris sound like they're pleading with him about something, but I can hardly hear over his shouting. I'm down the stairs in a flash, heading straight for the room I saw the three of them disappear into. "What's going on?"

Someone grabs the collar of my shirt and propels me backwards, almost knocking me to the ground. "Josh - " He turns his green eyes to my blue ones, staring at me even as he drags me back toward the stairs. I twist my body around so I'm not struggling to walk backwards. "Josh, what happened?"

"It's not funny," he mumbles. "It's not. It's _not funny._ "

"Josh, what isn't funny?" He doesn't answer me, just drags me up the stairs behind him. "Josh, you're scaring me."

He's still mumbling, almost incoherently. "I'm scaring me."

"What?"

I'm stumbling along, my feet catching on the wooden steps as I try and keep up with him. It's difficult, considering he's got a tight hold on the collar of my t-shirt. I would have fallen a long time ago, if not for Josh. Personally, I'm not a fan of falling, so I'm doing pretty okay. But, still, I'd prefer to get a straight answer out of him.

As much as I like Josh's bedroom at the lodge, I'm kind of getting tired of seeing it. That's exactly where Josh takes me, though. He throws the door open and tosses me inside, hard enough that I hit the bed and crash to the hardwood floor. "Fuck, Josh!" I rub my now-sore arm with a frown. "What the hell?"

He's pacing, his hands tightly gripping his hair. He's not even looking at me. I don't think he even notices I'm on the floor. He's muttering things under his breath, his eyes darting around the room, back and forth, seemingly uncontrollably. They're watering. I push myself up into a seated position, alarmed. I've never seen him like this. It's never been this bad. "Josh?"

He ignores me, or maybe he just doesn't hear. He drops his hands back to his sides for half a second before he starts rubbing his neck and arms. I still can't understand what he's saying; it's too quiet, too rushed.

On my feet now, I'm at his side in an instant. I latch onto his arm and drag him to a halt, stopping him from continuing to pace. Only now does he look at me, blink at me, slowly, like he's seeing me with brand new eyes. "Charlie," he says quietly.

"Josh?" My voice is just as soft. After a moment, he nods. I think I might be shaking, though not nearly as badly as he is. "Please, tell me what's happening."

His voice is shaking just as much as his body is. "I threw you. I'm so sorry." He swallows, grimacing like the action pains him. "Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head quickly, trying to keep him calm before he goes off again. "No, you didn't hurt me. I'm okay. I promise." I slide my hand down his arm and lace his fingers with mine, slowly walking him backward to the bed. "Come sit down. Everything is okay."

He shakes his head, closing his eyes. "It's not okay."

"Tell me what's not okay." Josh shakes his head again, eyes still squeezed shut, even as he sits on the edge of the mattress. I lay my free hand against his chest and gently push him backward, hoping being in this familiar place will help to calm him down. "It's alright. Just tell me what's wrong."

"You're not going to like me anymore." His voice breaks in time with my heart.

"You don't have to ever worry about that," I say gently. "Now, what's the matter?"

He's silent for a little while, his hands pressed over his eyes. Quietly, he starts to mumble under his breath, so I can't hear him. Is he doing it on purpose? I'm beginning to wonder at this point. I sit on the edge of the bed and set a hand on his leg, squeezing gently. "Josh, please."

"I'm scaring me," he says, repeating what he'd said on his way up the stairs.

"I don't know what that means."

He drops his hands back to his sides and pushes himself into a seated position, opening his eyes along the way. He scoots to the edge of the bed where I am, sitting close enough that he's almost on top of me. "I'm afraid I'm going to do something bad," he says, staring at the door instead of at me. He reaches out and runs a hand over my leg, searching for my own. The tips of his fingers graze against the back of my hand. I flip my hand over, palm up, watching as he slowly slides his hand into mine. He's still looking at the door. "I don't know, I just have this really bad feeling. I'm going to do something bad, and it's not something I think I can stop." He laughs, but it sounds bitter and detached. "Maybe I don't wanna stop it though, eh?"

I thought I would feel relieved when he finally spoke to me, but I'm more concerned for him now than I was before. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back. "Tell me what happened downstairs," I say softly.

Josh shrugs. "I wanted to mess around with the spirit board. I dunno, I guess I was taking it more seriously than Ash and Chris were. But they looked so scared..."

"Scared of what?"

I can see the tension slowly tighten his features. "Hannah."

I blink in surprise. "Hannah?" His sister?

"Yeah. I don't know." He looks down, shaking his head. "Ashely was asking questions and - and some kind of ghost was answering them. It said it was Hannah, but I don't know." He exhales slowly. "The planchette flew off the table. I think. I don't - I might have thrown it. I can't remember. I can't think straight."

I squeeze his hand again, and, again, he squeezes back. "Hey, you're okay." He shrugs. "You're not going to do anything bad. I'm sure Ashley or Chris was just messing around. They didn't mean anything bad by it."

"I overreacted." He sighs.

I pat his shoulder. "Maybe just a little bit." He sighs again. "What did 'Hannah' say?"

"Something about clues about what happened last year." Josh shakes his head and runs his free hand through his hair. "Chris and Ashley went to check it out, I think. In the library." He frowns a little, then laughs. "I interrupted your nap again."

I shrug. "I wasn't sleeping anyway." His frown deepens. "Oh, stop it. There's no point in fighting me on this anymore." I rub his shoulder, trying to ease some of the tension out of him. When his shoulders relax, I lay my hand against his chest. "Maybe you should lay down, though. Your heart is beating really fast."

Josh rolls his eyes with a smile. "Right. It's definitely because I may have just spoken to my dead sister." His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Um, yeah, I would say so..." I don't get the sarcasm.

Josh pinches my cheek between his thumb and forefinger. I glare at him. "You're so cute, Charlie." It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Don't look at me like that. It's true."

I shove his hand off of me with a small frown. "You're a shameless flirt, Joshua Washington."

He smirks. "Where have I heard that before?"

I grin. "Definitely not from me. Like, ever."

"Sure." He lets go of my hand - I had almost forgotten he was holding it - and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. I laugh, and so does he. "You're the best. I'm really glad you agreed to come with me."

I pull away from him, one eyebrow raised. "Does that mean you're going to stop trying to keep me locked up in here?"

He pauses for a moment, thinking. The look on his face is of feigned concentration. I reach out and tickle his sides, making him yelp and jump off the bed, laughing. "If I say 'yes' will you stop doing that?" I nod, a sly smile on my face. "Then yes. Go where you please."

I perk up instantly. "Really?"

"No." I frown. "I really think you should sleep for a little while." I glare at him. He comes to stand in front of me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Just an hour. And then I won't say anything else about it. Okay?"

If he's really that worried, then shouldn't I do it? Wouldn't that be the nicer thing to do, not just for my own health and sanity but for Josh's? Am I creating unnecessary stress in his life? _I don't need to sleep. I'm not tired. I came here to have fun, not stay in bed all night._ "Alright, fine," I say, crossing my fingers behind my back. I know it doesn't do anything, really, but I feel better doing it. "Just for an hour."

Josh smiles in relief. "Thank you."

I'm still sort of suspicious about whether or not he's trying to hide something from me. He's only kept a secret from me once, and it ended in near-disaster. Would he really want that to happen again? "What are you going to do?" I ask, trying not to arouse any suspicion within him.

He shrugs. "Check out the library with Chris and Ashley, maybe. Or watch TV. Something."

I nod slowly. "Okay. Better go do that, then. I'm pretty tired."

I can't help but feel guilty about lying to him. I like to think that I'm an honest person, at least with the people I care about. But Josh doesn't seem to catch on that I'm lying right to his face. Instead, he smiles sweetly at me and turns around, walking quickly out of the room. He closes the door behind him.

As soon as it's shut, I exhale slowly and put my face in my hands. I don't bother going to grab my book from where I'd left it on the floor. I wait a few minutes, giving Josh time to find something to do before I push myself off the bed and walk over to the door. I open it quickly and slip out into the hallway, shutting it just as quickly behind me. I'm going to join Chris and Ashley in the library. And there's nothing Josh can do to stop me.

oOoOo

 _I went home during spring break for some much-needed quality time spent with my cat. Josh had insisted several times that he wanted me to come home with him, but I had promised my parents that I could come home. And, anyway, I was too poor to go anywhere fun. Josh could have gone anywhere, though, with as much money as his family's got, and I know Chris invited Josh to go on a trip with him. So why did he go home?_

 _I'm not far from Josh, anyway. Forty minutes, tops. If he really wanted me to go and see him, it'd be easy. But since I've been home, I haven't heard from him. Part of me wants to worry, but the other part of me keeps insisting he's fine._

 _My phone rings, startling me. I've been spending most of break laying on the couch, either reading a book or watching Netflix, meaning I haven't had an extensive amount of human contact - outside my family. Not to mention the fact that it's after midnight - because sleep is for the weak. I pause_ House, M.D. _and reach for my phone, swiping my thumb across the screen to answer it. I clear my throat. "Hello?" I say cautiously. Who the hell is calling me this late?_

 _"Charlie!" It's a woman's voice, one I don't think I've heard before. Whoever it is, she sounds too distressed to be a telemarketer._

 _"Um, hi," I say awkwardly. "Who is this?"_

 _"Melinda - " The woman's voice breaks. She clears her throat. "Melinda Washington. Josh's mother."_

 _I sit up quickly, getting to my feet. Both hands are on the phone now, trying to press it closer and closer to my ear. As soon as I stand, I nearly topple back down. I'm lightheaded already, and the woman's hardly said five words to me. I've never even met her before. But the tremble in her voice is unmistakable. I know better. "What is it?" My voice is soft but urgent all the same. "What's he done?"_

 _"Bob and I just found him - "_

 _I cut her off. I don't mean to, but I do it anyway. "How?"_

 _"Pills."_

 _It's like I can't breathe. I want to sit back down so I don't fall to the ground, but I'm afraid if I sit I may not get back up. My head feels heavy. I think my stomach has dropped down to my toes. It's getting hard to keep a tight enough grip on my phone. Respond. I have to respond, but I don't think I have the words. I can't get them out._

 _"Charlie?"_

 _I swallow. Clear my throat. Pinch the inside of my arm. The pain is enough to bring me back. "Yes," I say. My voice breaks. "Yes, I'm here."_

 _"I don't know what's going to happen now." Melinda Washington's voice is soft. How do I tell her that I don't know either?_

 _A door opens on my left and a head pokes into the living room. "Charlie? What're you doing?" It's my younger sister, Carrie. Her brown hair is sticking up on one side; she must've been asleep._

 _I put my hand over the end of my phone, turning stinging eyes to my sister. "I'm sorry, I woke you up, didn't I?"_

 _She frowns and creeps further out of her bedroom. "It's fine. What's the matter? You look like you've been crying."_

 _"I haven't." Not yet, at least. I clear my throat, hoping my voice will stop wobbling. I'm not breaking down. Not now, not in front of her. "Go back to bed. You've got school in the morning. Everything's fine."_

 _"Bullshit."_

 _I roll my eyes at her, turning away and removing my hand from over the receiver. "Mrs. Washington, are you still there?" I hear her hum. I think she's crying now, if she wasn't already. "Mrs. Washington, where are they taking him?"_

 _Carrie is beside me in seconds. "Where are they taking who?" she asks. I wave my hand at her and walk away, trying to get her to shut up so I can hear what Josh's mother is trying to say to me. "Charlie, tell me what's going on!"_

 _I assure Melinda Washington that I'm on my way, wait to hear her end of the line click, and then slide my phone into my back pocket and run for the stairs. I'm up them in seconds, going as quietly as I can. Carrie follows after me, right on my heels. I slide into my shoes, grab my keys from where they hang on the wall, and open the front door. Before I can make a move to run outside, Carrie grabs my elbow._

 _"Where the hell are you going? It's after midnight." Her blue eyes are wide and confused. "Charlie, what happened?"_

 _I'm vaguely aware of how heavily I'm breathing, how strange I must look, standing with one foot out the door and a crazed expression on my face. I'm desperate. I need to leave. She's stopping me. "Let go of me, Carrie. Please." She holds tighter. "Something happened to Josh. He's in the hospital. I need to go."_

 _Carrie released me immediately and steps back. There's understanding in her eyes. She nods. "Okay. You go do what you need to do." She winks at me. "I'll let Mom and Dad know where you are, if they wake up before you get back." She pauses. "You're coming back, right?"_

 _I nod. "At some point. I'm not sure when. I've gotta get there first."_

 _"Get going, then. Make sure he's okay."_

 _I thank her quickly and then dash out the door. I hear her lock the front door behind; half a second later, I'm across the yard and to the driveway where my car is parked. I'm running, but I'm not out of breath - yet._ Please be okay, please be okay. _It's like I can't think straight._

 _I shift my car into reverse after pulling up the address for the hospital they've taken him to and then peel out of the driveway, tires screeching as I go. I hardly hear it. Blood is pounding in my ears. Should I be driving in this state?_ You're in a better state than he is. _I shake my head. Thinking about it will drive me crazy, but I can't think of anything else._

 _The drive was supposed to be close to fifty minutes. I think I make it in a half hour, thirty-five minutes tops. My heart is beating so quickly it may beat right out of my chest. I pull my car into a parking spot and slam it into park. With no hesitation to be found, I leap out of the car, hardly remembering to lock it as I sprint away. The hospital is massive, the large glass windows shedding light on the sidewalk outside. In my haste, I push on the doors when I'm supposed to pull. Flustered, I frantically try again. It still doesn't work (obviously). It takes a few seconds for me to figure out how to get the door open._ God, I'm an idiot.

 _The receptionist is sucking down a cup of coffee like the stuff is going out of style, but she sets it aside quickly when she sees me full-on sprinting at her. "Please, don't run in here!" she says, but it's too late. There's no stopping me now. I slam my hands on the front desk, my body jolting to a stop. She gives me a concerned smile, if not kind of confused. "Okay, well, what can I do for you?"_

 _I have to take a few breaths before I can answer her. I don't run very often. "Washington," I say, huffing the words out. I'm doubled over, a little embarrassed about being so out of shape. "Josh Washington. He was - he was brought - here. I think. I'm pretty sure. His mother - "_

 _"Charlie?"_

 _I whip around at the sound of my name. There's a woman standing at the start of one of the hallways. She's got long, dark hair and a shaky smile. Josh's mother? "Mrs. Washington?" Gotta make sure, you know._

 _She comes running at me. She's a tiny thing, hardly taller than I am - which isn't saying much - and can't possibly weigh more than a hundred pounds. Melinda Washington is in my arms in moments, sobbing against me. I'm feeling very awkward at this point. The receptionist is staring at me in surprise. I give her a panicked look, and she shrugs. Helpful. I pat his mother's back, trying to be comforting but really wanting some comfort of my own. There's only one way to get that, though._

 _Melinda Washington has been hanging on me for less than a minute before a man jogs over to us. Bob Washington is dressed exactly as you would expect of a big-shot film director who bought himself a mountain. Despite being in the emergency room at an ungodly time of night in one of the grimmest situations, he's dressed to the nines. Part of me wants to resent his inherent composure, but the uncertainty and panic in his eyes makes me reconsider._

 _"Melinda," he says quietly, soothingly, as he places a hand on his wife's shoulder. She releases me immediately and throws herself against his chest. He lays a hand in her hair and holds her tightly, even as his green eyes stare me down. Josh's eyes. "And you are?"_

 _I would offer a hand, but both of his are currently preoccupied with tending to his sobbing wife. "Charlotte Day," I say, my hands fidgeting in front of me. "I'm one of Josh's friends from college. Um, you can call me Charlie."_

 _Mr. Washington doesn't reply for a while, just watches me, absentmindedly running his hands through his wife's hair. After a few moments, her cries subside to quiet sniffles. My whole body feels like it's twitching now. Why are we just standing here? I want to see Josh. I came here to see Josh. I didn't drop everything and run off in the middle of the night just to stand here in the reception area and make small talk and hand out introductions. Why aren't they taking me to their son immediately? Why call me if they were going to just keep me away? If there was anything to keep me away from... Who knows how much time as passed since he took all those pills..._

 _"Please." My voice is soft but ragged. I'm still not crying, but I may start if they don't take me to him soon. "Please let me see him." I don't want to beg, but I will._

 _Bob Washington gives me another long look before he nods. "Of course."_

 _"Um, sorry," says the receptionist from behind us. I turn. "Visiting hours were over ages ago, and, besides - you're not family, miss. I heard you say so."_

 _The movie director rolls his eyes and steps away from his wife for half a second to pull something out of his pocket. He hands a fifty to the receptionist with a stern look in his eyes. "Just let her see him," he says in his gruff voice. I want to cry from relief; he's not dead. "He's in room 159, Charlie."_

 _I should thank him, but I'm already racing off down the hall I had seen the two come out of. There's nothing on my mind now but Josh, seeing Josh, knowing that he's okay. Or, at least, as okay as he can be right now. 159. 159. 159._

 _I almost sprint right past it, but I have to skid to a stop before I run into a couple of nurses wheeling a patient down the hall on a table. For a moment, I almost mistake the figure on the table for Josh, but it's not him. A quick glance to my left reveals the room I was looking for. 159. Made it. Finally._

 _My hand is shaking as I reach for the handle to open the door. It opens slowly inward, making a quiet creaking sound. The lights are on, and there's a doctor inside, scribbling notes down onto a clipboard. He glances up in surprise when I walk in. "Excuse me, what are you doing in here?" he asks. "Visiting hours are over."_

 _I can't find my voice to answer. There is the bed, and there is Josh, hooked up to so many tube and wires that I almost want to be sick. I've never liked hospitals. I've always done whatever I can to avoid them. Seeing him there, his usual tan skin now brandishing a sickly green tint, tubes in his nose to keep him breathing, I'm finding it hard to remain standing. The doctor, almost like he realizes I'm about to fall faint, quickly grabs a chair and brings it up behind me, guiding me to sit down. My hands are shaking harder now, and I can't keep my left leg still._

 _"What happened?" My voice sounds like a croak. I clear my throat. The doctor stares. "Please, he's my friend."_

 _The doctor shakes his head slowly. I know I'm not supposed to be here, but he can't make me leave. "Well, your friend appears to have overdosed on a near-lethal amount of amitriptyline. His parents found him in the bathroom about an hour ago. Paramedics rushed him here immediately. Judging by the amount of the drug that had been absorbed into his bloodstream, he'd only been lying there for around ten minutes before he was discovered."_

 _"Is he going to be okay?" I almost don't want to know the answer, just in case it's not the one I want to hear._

 _He shrugs, which is definitely not what I want. "We pumped his stomach to remove some of the substance, and administered charcoal to get him to vomit up the rest of what we could still manage to get out of him. You can never be one hundred percent certain in any case, but I'm fairly sure he's going to make a full recovery."_

 _Well "fairly sure" isn't the most reassuring phrase in the world, but it's better than it very easily could have been, had the Washingtons been a little late finding their son. But he's going to live. I have to believe that if I'm going to make it through tonight._

 _"Miss?" I turn toward the doctor, who is giving me a concerned look. "Do you know whether he attempted this on purpose or not?"_

 _My stomach flips. I don't want to be asked that question. I don't know the answer to it. He'd told me before that he had upped the dosage on his pills without Dr. Hill's consent because he didn't think they were working. It's possible he had just upped it too much. He couldn't possibly have tried something like this on purpose, right? Right?_

 _The doctor mumbles something about going to find Josh's parents, and then he leaves, closing the door quietly behind him. I'm frozen where I sit. I want to approach the bed, but I'm afraid. He almost looks...lifeless. But obviously, he's not. He's still alive._

 _"Charlie?"_

 _I jump at the sound of my name, at the hoarse voice that speaks it. His green eyes are half-open, staring at me. They're rimmed with red. I lose the ability to speak for a moment. What could I possibly say to make any of this seem more real? "Hi." Lame._

 _He tries to sit up. My legs seem to unfreeze and I'm at his side in less than a second, one hand on his shoulder to push him back down. Gently. So gently. "Don't move." My voice is soft, nothing more than a murmur._

 _"What are you doing here?"_

 _I give him half of a smile and sit on the edge of the bed. "Your mother called me, believe it or not. Told me where you were. What had happened. What you did - " My voice breaks and I look down, for the first time feeling tears starting to prick behind my eyes. He reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "Josh, the doctor - he asked me - this was an accident, wasn't it?"_

 _He's silent._

 _"Josh, please." I glance back up at his face. He's watching me, an unreadable expression on his face. "You didn't do this on purpose, right?"_

 _He looks away._

 _I really am crying now, clutching one of his hands with both of mine. My shoulders are shaking. My face is flooded. The room is quiet, save my stifled sobs. Josh traces shapes on the leg of my sweatpants. I must look a right mess, sitting here in ragged sweats and an old t-shirt, letting out emotion in front of him that I never thought I'd have to. I'm uncomfortable. It feels as though my body is being torn apart from the inside. How could he do this?_

 _"I never wanted you to see me like this," he says quietly. "I'm sorry she called you."_

 _"I'm not." I take one of my hands back and hastily wipe at my eyes. Josh is staring at me again, a tense look on his face, like a child who is afraid of being hit. "Josh, why didn't you tell me?"_

 _Shame. He looks away again, looking like he might cry himself. "I don't know." Looking back at me, he slides over a little in the bed, creating enough room for me to wedge myself in beside him. I do, and he curls an arm around my shoulders and rests his hand on the top of my head. He sighs. "I don't know."_

 _"I would have helped you." I smile wryly. "I don't know how, but I would have tried."_

 _"I know."_

 _I lay my head on his shoulder. The two of us are quiet for a while, staring at the wall opposite us. What's taking the doctor so long to come back? "You can't do that to your parents, Josh," I finally say, breaking the silence. He tenses up. "Please. They've gone through so much recently. You have, too. You can't do this again."_

 _"I know." He almost sounds frustrated. I know I'm not saying the right things, but what_ are _the right things to say? I'm glad I can find words at all._

 _"There are so many people that love you, Josh." He shifts a little, looking down at me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I glance up. "So many people who would be absolutely devastated if you were gone. Don't you know that?" He shrugs slowly, still maintaining eye contact with me. "You should. Because it's true."_

 _He slides his hand down from the top of my head to tangle his fingers in my hair. "Are you one of those people?"_

 _"Of course I am." I can feel the blush rising on my cheeks. He breaks into a tiny grin. "Promise me you won't try this again."_

 _"I promise."_

 _He yawns, making me yawn as well. Shifting around a little, he settles in beside me, pulling me closer. Turning his face toward mine, he smiles again. I smile back. "Things will get better, Josh," I say softly. "You just have to give it time."_

 _He bumps my forehead with his nose and closes his eyes. "I know."_

 _Moments later, his breathing slows. He's asleep, his chest rising and falling evenly. He looks peaceful now, more so than he did when I had first walked in. I reach my hand up to wipe away any last traces of tears. This is not how I thought my spring break would go, but as long as Josh is okay, I am, too. Smiling softly to myself, I close my eyes._

 _The door opens and I faintly hear people enter the room. "She has to leave." It's the doctor. "Visiting hours are over, and she isn't family." I would roll my eyes if I wasn't so tired..._

 _There's the sound of paper rubbing against itself, being transferred from one hand to another. Money. It's Bob Washington that speaks next. "She's fine. Just leave them be."_


	6. SIX

|| SIX ||

It's only once I'm out into the hall and making my downstairs that I realize I have no idea where the library is actually located. I don't want to just wander around, on the off chance that I stumble across Josh, but I'm not really sure where to go. Calling out to Ashley and Chris seems like a good idea, but what if Josh hears and knows I'm out of bed? Do I risk it?

Then I hear shrieking - Ashley - and shouting - Chris. I take off at a dead sprint, making my way down a couple more sets of stairs before darting around a corner. They're still yelling. "Jesus, look out!" That was Chris. Ashley shrieks again.

I skid to a stop once I finally spot them. Books are flying off one of the shelves, hitting the two teens before falling to the ground. "Holy shit," I say, eyes widening. How the hell did that happen? "Are you guys okay?"

Ashley's eyes are just as wide. "I think so."

"Is Josh with you guys?"

Both Ashley and Chris shake their head. "No, he was with you last we saw him."

I frown. "He'd said he was going to come down and investigate the library with you." _Weird._

They shrug. Ashley points toward the shelf. "Look. There was something behind the books."

I turn to look where she's pointing. There's a small button inlaid in the back panel of the bookcase, or what looks like a button, anyway. Why would there be a button? "What is that for?" No one has an answer for me.

"Is it a button?" Chris asks.

"Why would there be a button?" Ashley sounds like she's close to hysterics.

Chris shrugs and glances over at her. "That's a good question."

That it is.

Ashley looks at me, her eyes seeming like they're wider than they were before. How is that possible? "Should I push it?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Probably."

"That's what buttons are for, I guess," Chris adds.

Ashley tights her grip on the candlestick she's holding and steps away from us. She stretches out one finger; I can see her hand shaking. Seconds later, she presses the button and steps back quickly. There's a creaking sound as the bookcase moves back a few inches. With a noise like a drawn-out groan, the case then slides to the side, revealing a small room that had been hidden away behind it.

Chris is trying to be funny from behind me. "Door opens. Head explodes!" He's gesturing wildly.

Ashley is having none of it. "Are we like, in a movie right now?" I roll my eyes.

"If we are, I hope it's a rom-com." Ladies and gentlemen, Christopher, comedic genius.

I'm the first to walk forward, side-stepping Ashley to peer into the room. I like to think that I have no fear. And, really, what could be hiding behind here? A psycho killer? Not likely. How would he have gotten back out again? He probably would have suffocated before we found him. I'm hoping, anyway.

 _Leave it to the Washington's to have secret passages in their house,_ I think bitterly, finally walking all the way inside. Chris and Ashley are still behind me, arguing about who is going to go first. It's like they don't even realize I'm here. _Stupid lovesick teenagers_.

The room is pretty tiny, only holding a small desk against one wall. There's a photograph on the tabletop that I am quick to grab. It's a photo of Hannah and Beth. On the other side is a note, hastily scribbled in red ink - or blood. Given the context of the note, it could very much be blood.

 ** _I WILL TAKE THEM AND BLEED THEM LIKE PIGS AND RIP THEIR SOFT WHITE SKIN OFF! FUCKING_** ** _16_** ** _YEARS. 16 YEARS I WAITED FOR PRETTY LITTLE HANNAH AND BETH._**

I drop the photo immediately and watch as it waves from side to side before landing back on the surface of the table. My heart is pounding. I didn't even know Hannah and Beth, but I'm not dumb enough to think that that is in any way a _good_ note. "Chris?" I call out.

He's beside me in seconds. With a shaky hand, I motion toward the photo, stepping back so he can get to it. There's really not enough room for all of us to be in here, not that Ashley has also crept in, too afraid of standing alone outside. "Holy cow," he says quietly. "N-now, Ash, I don't want to freak you out, but...but look at this..."

"What?" She's full-on panicking at this point. Part of me is annoyed; the other part of me sympathizes. "Chris what _is_ that?"

Chris is doing a marvelous job at keeping calm, especially considering he's not trying to crack jokes anymore. "I..." He trails off for a moment before clearing his throat and trying again. "I think this might be what the spirit board wanted us to find - "

"The clue?"

Vaguely I remember Josh telling me that the spirit board is what led these two to the library in the first place. Creepy shit. "Yeah," Chris says. "It's a letter."

"Let me see it."

I'm surprised she wants to see it at all. As Chris steps forward to hand her the photo, I move out of the way and walk back out into the library. Before I can fully make it out, something glints from the corner and catches my eye. Looking up, I spot it: a camera. It's hooked into the top corner of the room, furthest from the doorway, and would probably have stayed hidden from me had Ashley's candle not been reflecting off the lens. _Who put a video camera in here?_ I decide not to mention it to the other two, as Ashley is now completely freaking out at Chris about the letter, and I can't handle anymore hysterics tonight.

"If this is as serious as it seems, we need to find Josh," I call over my shoulder. "Come on."

I don't actually know where I'm going, so I let Chris and Ashley lead the way and follow a few paces behind. They're talking quietly to themselves, and I can't help but tune them out. I'm more focused on familiarizing myself with my surroundings, in case I need to find my way around on my own. You never know.

 _I hope Josh is okay..._

Where could he have gone? I didn't hear a TV playing, and that was the only other option he had suggested to me. Then again, it is his house, and he's probably got a lot more hiding places than I'm aware of, considering I've never been here. Probably even places Chris and the rest of his friends don't know about.

The two of them stop walking at one point, Chris telling Ashley about some "Wanted" poster he found up by the cable car station with Sam. I could care less at this point. What are the odds that whatever psycho wanted to go after Hannah and Beth is actually up on the mountain with us right now? Hannah and Beth are dead, missing at the very least. If that was his sole purpose of being up here, why come back? Rather than pay attention, I choose to wander around the room instead.

The double doors behind Ashley and Chris start rattling violently and I whip around, immediately dashing back to their sides. Someone is screaming. "What the fuck?" I'm panting from the short sprint. Damn my general lack of exercise.

"Do you hear that?" Chris asks.

"Yes, I hear that, goddammit," I snap, launching forward. "It's Josh."

Ashley shoves me out of the way. Whether it's on purpose, I have no idea, but I'm not very happy about it. She opens one of the doors and sticks her head in. "Josh?" she yells. His screams stop, but she keeps yelling anyway. " _Josh?_ "

Like something had grabbed her from the front of her sweatshirt, Ashley suddenly disappears through the door, yanked by some invisible force. The door slams shut immediately, and Chris throws himself at it, pulling frantically at the doorknob. " _ASHLEY?_ "

I stand back as he repeatedly hits himself against the door, trying to get it open. Really, it seems more like he's smashing his face against it instead of slamming into it like he should be. Better yet, he should kick it.

Josh is on the other side. _I_ should kick it.

"Move," I order, and Chris immediately steps back with a panicked look on his face. I'm not very strong, and I really don't work out as much as I should, but I do watch a lot of action movies. _Plant your back foot. Kick right below the door knob._

The door springs open upon impact and Chris dashes through immediately, tripping over his own feet. What stands before the two of us makes me turn on a dime and run. Maybe I'm not as brave as I'd like to be, but I'd rather stay alive as long as I can rather than run straight into death. The man, wearing a mask and overalls, knocks Chris out cold before turning his attention to me. I can't see any facial expression or gain any indication of who this person really is, but I don't care. I'm already darting away, back the way we'd come. _Where do I go? How am I supposed to get away when I have no idea how to get around this huge fucking house?_

An arm catches me around the waist and hurls me backward before I can get too far. I collide with something firm, my head rolling on my shoulders. It's the psycho. I've been yanked against his chest. Something covers my mouth and nose, and I'm suddenly hit with a cold blast of air. It smells funny. I'm struggling against his hold, but it's like each time I inhale, my attempts at escape become weaker and weaker. _He's drugging me_.

"Just breathe." The voice is deep. I tense up even as my body starts to go limp. "You're okay."

oOoOo

 _It's the morning after Josh's trip to the emergency room. Bob and Melinda Washington had allowed me to follow them back to their house to sleep, after they had roused me form Josh's hospital bed and I had called my parents to let them know where I was. They weren't overly happy about my midnight escapade, but they respected that I'm an adult now and can make my own decisions. And they know how much I care about Josh; there was no way they would make me come home._

 _The Washingtons had offered me Josh's room to stay in, but I would have felt awkward staying there. Especially considering the bathroom where he'd tried to overdose on his antidepressants was just the room over. No, I chose to stay in a guest bedroom instead. Their home is enormous; there are more than enough bedrooms for a person to choose from._

 _I wake up to the sound of Josh's mother knocking on the door. "Charlie? Bob and I were going to go back to the hospital to check on Josh. Would you like to come with?"_

 _"Just a minute!" I'm out of the bed in seconds, slipping back into my bra and pulling my hair up into a bun. I hadn't expected to stay overnight; I didn't bring spare clothes with me. No matter. My t-shirt and sweats will do just fine. I yank my shoes onto my feet and nearly trip over myself in my haste to get to the door. "Yeah - yeah, I'm coming."_

 _The trip back to the hospital is mostly silent, with Melinda or Bob occasionally asking questions, such as what I'm studying in college, where I'm from, and if I've met Sam and Chris yet. They smile when I say that, yes, I have met the two of them. Melinda poses the question of whether or not I told them what happened last night, and I shake my head. "I don't think it's my place to tell. And, anyway, I hardly know them - maybe they'll be upset that I was told and they weren't." I wring my hands and stare out the window. I only just met them. I don't want them to hate me already. They seem really nice._

 _Melinda reaches her arm into the backseat and rests her hand on top of mine. "We called you because Josh hasn't stopped talking about you since the two of you first met." I raise my eyebrows in surprise, to which the two of them chuckle. "He's found a great friend in you, Charlie. His father and I couldn't be happier." Bob nods, as if confirming his wife's statement._

 _I can't fight a smile. "You really think so?" They give me gentle smiles, and Melinda squeezes my hand. "Thank you."_

 _"You're helping him," Melinda goes on, her eyes seeming close to tears. "So we should be thanking_ you _."_

 _I can't help but find that statement odd, considering what went on last night. If I really am helping him, then why did he try to overdose on his medication? Is it because I chose not to spend spring break with him? Would this have happened if I'd been with him?_

 _Guilt gnaws at my stomach as we park in front of the hospital. I try to rein myself in as I follow the Washingtons to the front doors and through them to the lobby. No sprinting down hallways today. No hysterically asking where I'm supposed to go. Just calm. That's all I'm going to be today._

 _I barely register the nurse telling us we're fine to go and visit him because I'm forcibly keeping my pace slow and steady, trying to match the strides of the two adults walking with me. They seem much calmer knowing that their son is going to live._

 _Josh is sitting up in bed when we enter, a tray of food in his lap. It looks mostly like soft, bland items - mashed potatoes, vanilla pudding, and what looks like a slice of bread with butter, folded in half. "They're going plain because they don't want me throwing anything up," he says, drawing my attention from the food back to his face. "Hey, Charlie." There's a smile on his face._

 _I stay still, hovering near the doorway, letting Bob and Melinda take the lead. Josh's mother rushes over to him, leaning down and holding him tightly against her chest, like he's nothing more than a small child. I have to admit, he does look almost childlike, the hospital gown he wears hanging too loosely on his body, the blankets draped around him, swamping him with material. His green eyes are wide, taking in his surroundings, his parents - me - like he's seeing it all for the first time._

 _We make eye contact from over his mother's shoulder. He winks, a small smile on his face, then closes his eyes and leans more heavily into his mother. "I'm alright, Mom. The doctor said so."_

 _"Where is the doctor?" Bob asks, glancing around. The four of us are the only ones in the room._

 _Josh shrugs as Melinda lets go and steps back. "I dunno. He left a little bit ago. Didn't say when he was coming back."_

 _His father nods slowly and backs toward the door, smiling at me as he goes. "I'm going to go and find him. I'd like to know if we can take you home today."_

 _My eyes light up and a grin immediately breaks out across my face. "You really think they'll let him?"_

 _The film director shrugs. "Maybe. Hopefully. I'll go and see." He leaves quickly, closing the door quietly behind him._

 _Melinda heads for the door as well. "I better go with him. He gets a little testy when things don't go the way he wants." She gently pats my shoulder on her way out. "We'll be back soon."_

 _As soon as the door is shut, Josh relaxes back against the pillows. His eyebrows are raised. "Everyone seems intent on us being alone together, huh?"_

 _My cheeks begin to feel warm._ God, please stop blushing... _"I guess so, yeah."_

 _"Why are you blushing?" He's smirking, his eyes bright._

 _"I'm not blushing."_

 _The smirk fades and he stares. Now his green eyes are clouded, and he looks down to his hands. His fingers twitch, as does the left corner of his lip. He absentmindedly fumbles with the spoon on the tray in front of him, methodically turning it over and over. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?" His voice is soft, almost wounded._

 _My eyes widen. "What?"_

 _"I know what I did made you mad, and I'm sorry, but please - "_

 _"Josh, stop." I cut him off abruptly, rushing over to the side of the bed. He shifts the tray of food a little so I can sit on the edge of the mattress. Once I'm sat down, he reaches for my hand. I give it to him, squeezing gently. "I'm not mad."_

 _His eyebrows rise. "What?" he asks, echoing what I had said._

 _Smiling softly, I squeeze his hand again. "I'm not mad. I was never mad." He gives me a look that very clearly reads that he doesn't believe me. "Josh, I wasn't mad."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _I squeeze his hand once more. He squeezes back, this time holding on much tighter. "You're my best friend, Josh," I say. He breaks into a grin. "I could never be mad at you. How could I ever be mad about something like that?"_

 _His smile warms my heart. After last night's ordeal, I'm relieved to see it. I'm relieved he's okay - or that he's going to be okay, in any case. "I'm glad," he says quietly, still smiling. I want to hug him, but the food is still in the way._

 _"You scared the hell out of me," I say. "That's all."_

 _His face falls. "I'm sorry."_

 _I reach out with a hand and he leans forward, laying his cheek against my palm. Words can't describe how I'm feeling. How happy I am that he's here in front of me, alive, and recovering. "You don't have to apologize," I say softly, stroking his face with my thumb. "Just promise you'll talk to me if you need someone. I'll always be there for you."_

 _"I know." He turns his face and presses his lips against the palm of my hand. My face heats up instantly, and he winks. I roll my eyes and drop my hand back into my lap, ignoring the hammering in my chest. He chuckles. "Thank you, Charlie. I'm really glad my mom called you."_

 _I grin. "I'm glad she did, too."_

 _Josh motions toward the food still sitting on the tray in front of him. "Well, Miss Day, could I interest you in some vanilla pudding?"_

 _We laugh._


	7. SEVEN

|| SEVEN ||

I wake up bleary and disoriented with my vision slightly foggy and a pounding in my head. I groan, reaching up a hand to rub one of my eyes. Blinking both of them repeatedly clears up my vision almost instantly. _God, what happened?_

The masked man, the _psycho_ , drugged me. At least I think it was drugs. Honestly, I'm not sure what was in that gas mask he shoved over my nose, but it had knocked me out pretty quickly. Who the hell is he, and what is he doing all the way up here on the mountain?

I sit up. Glancing around at my surroundings, I'm even more confused. _Why the fuck am I in Josh's bedroom?_

I was left lying draped across the quilt, for some reason. Why would the psycho bring me here, of all places? He couldn't possibly know that this is the room I'm supposed to be staying in this weekend. Unless he's been watching us the whole time, of course. Unless -

 _Just breathe. You're okay._

The psycho had said that to me, just before I passed out. The same words I tell Josh whenever he's having an attack. _It's just a coincidence, don't be stupid. Josh would never do something like that. It's just a coincidence._

But what if it's not?

I'm off the bed in seconds, running toward the door. I have to find Josh. If I can find Josh, I'll know I'm wrong about what I'm thinking. If I can find Josh, maybe he'll know what to do about this psycho situation.

The doorknob won't budge. I shake it frantically, tugging, pulling, kicking, trying to get out of the room. I can't. It's locked. "Help!" I scream. "Let me out of here!" No answer. Jesus, where the fuck is Sam? Shouldn't she still be taking a bath? Isn't the bathroom nearby? "SAM!"

I back away from the door. The psycho knocked out Ashley and Chris as soon as they ran through the door, and we heard Josh screaming right before. Either it was a trap - God, I hope it wasn't a trap - or Josh is really in trouble. Where did the psycho take the three of them, and did he take Sam too?

I clench my hands in my hair, pulling tightly. What do I do now? I can't get out of the room because the door is locked. I try kicking it open like I did downstairs with Chris, but it doesn't budge. "Goddammit," I say, squeezing my eyes shut against oncoming tears. " _Goddammit!_ "

I press my back to the door and slide down it until I'm sitting on the hardwood floor, my knees pulled up to my chest. I feel like crying but can't bring myself to do it. I'm stuck in here, my friends are God knows where, _Josh_ is God knows where, and there's some crazy dude running around on this mountain with us. This is not at all how I expected this weekend to go.

 _Come on, think._

I glance around, thinking maybe I can find something to break the door down with, but other than the bed and the wardrobe, there's not a whole lot by way of furniture in here. I sigh loudly and run my hands through my hair, absentmindedly listening to the howling wind and the tree branches scratching against the window.

The window.

In seconds, I am on my feet and leaping onto the bed, frantically crawling toward the window sitting behind it. It looks locked, but it's easy enough to lift the latch and open the window outwards. Cold air immediately fills the room, making me shiver in just my t-shirt and jeans. I'll need to be a little warmer if I'm going to last outside.

I climb back off the bed and head for my backpack. Josh took my coat and hung it up somewhere downstairs, but I packed a sweatshirt before I came. Thank God. Sliding it on, I instantly feel warmer. I yank my boots onto my feet and lace them up before heading back for the window. Hands braced against the window frame, I heave myself up and out of it.

The bedroom is on the second floor, and thankfully there's a short section of roof over top of one of the decks right below the window. Unfortunately, it's covered in snow, and I nearly fall off in my haste to get through the window. My fingers are already starting to turn red from the cold, but I can't stop now. I'm not sitting in that bedroom and waiting for death to approach me. I'm going to find my friends. I'm going to find Josh.

I kneel down in the snow and scoot backward toward the edge of the roof, feeling around carefully to make sure I don't slide right off the end. Gripping the shingles with every ounce of strength I have, I gently lower myself down. I know I won't be able to reach the ground without making a considerable drop, so I brace myself for impact and let go.

Thank God for snowbanks.

I shriek as I land in one, feeling more like a popsicle than a human being right now. I dart out of the pile of snow, shaking my hands out and hopping around, trying to get feeling back in my toes. I'm sure I look ridiculous, but I don't care at this point.

There's yelling off in the distance. I brush whatever snow is left on my jeans and set off in the direction it's coming from. I don't know where I'm going or where the path I take is going to have me end up at, but it's too late to worry about that now. It's a mix of voices I'm hearing, the loudest of which sounds like Emily's. Surprise. I shake my head and walk faster. As soon as I hear Chris, however, I break into a sprint.

"Cut right through him and - spilling out fucking everywhere - "

"Chris! Ash!" I shout. They both turn toward me, Emily and Matt, who is also there, following suit. Matt and Emily look confused, Chris is on the verge of a breakdown, and Ashley seems like she's close to tears - and covered in blood. "Holy shit. What happened?"

Everyone starts talking at once, each voice increasing in volume the more they try to talk over each other. It takes everything in me not to snap at them and get them all to shut the hell up. I shake my head and go to Chris, who now appears to be in full-on crisis mode. "Hey, it's alright. Everything's fine." He starts shaking his head frantically. "Where's Josh, Chris?"

Ashley starts sobbing behind me, making me jump. Chris comes forward and engulfs me in a hug, holding me tight against him. I struggle a little, kind of confused, but hug him back after a moment. I can't tell if he's crying or not.

After a few seconds, he lets me go and steps back again. "He's dead, Charlie." He turns his face toward his shoes.

My blood runs cold within my veins. "What are you talking about? Chris - "

"That maniac had Josh and I chained up against a wall," Ashley says, cutting me off. She's hiccupping. "There was this huge saw, and the guy said that Chris had to choose who he was going to save."

I take a few steps back, trying to process what's happening. Dead? Josh can't be dead. No way. "That doesn't make any sense," I say slowly. Maybe the shock hasn't quite set in yet.

"He chose me," Ashley says, eyes still brimming with tears. She motions toward her jacket, the left side of which is splattered with blood. "This is - this is his - "

"Charlie, I'm so sorry - "

I ignore Chris and start to walk toward the shed I just realized we're standing a short distance away from. "No," I say. "It's not true." Josh isn't dead. Josh can't be dead. This weekend was meant to be a healing process for him. He can't be dead. He's not. "No, he's not dead."

"Charlie, get back here," Emily shouts after me. "That psycho could still be in there, he could kill you too - "

"I don't care," I shoot back, a scowl now firmly set on my face. "Get back to the lodge. Someone needs to find Sam. No more splitting up," I say, as I split away from the group myself. The rules don't apply to me. Not right now. I have to see.

Someone grabs my arm and yanks me backward. "Charlie, you're not thinking straight." Matt. "You have to stick with us; we can't lose anyone else."

I turn toward him, locking my blue eyes onto his brown eyes. "I have to see," I say firmly. He stares me down for a few moments before nodding and backing away. "I'll join back up with you guys in a second. I just need to see." Maybe Chris and Ashley were wrong. Maybe it's all just a prank they were trying to play on me.

The door to the shed is open, and I make my way inside. There are tools of all sorts littered around the room, chains hanging from the ceiling, dust clinging to every surface. In the background sounds the mechanical whirring of what I assume to be the saw Ash mentioned. If they're really right, Josh's body should be in that direction. But now that I'm here, I don't know that I want to see anymore.

 _You have to see._

My hands shake, though whether it's from nerves or from the cold I have no idea. Both, most likely. I pass by what looks like a lever; it's tilted to the right. Before it is a chain link fence stretched across the length of the short room, making what could be called a window into the larger room beyond. Tracks run beneath the wood paneling into that larger room, branching off in two directions but ultimately leading toward a smaller section of wall.

"J-Josh?"

I take a step back. My foot catches on one of the tools lying on the floor and I trip, falling backward onto my ass. I don't feel it. I can't breathe. It's like my lungs are collapsing in on themselves, the burning in my chest matching the burning behind my eyes. _Josh. Oh, God..._

His hands are shackled above his head, which is drooping down onto his chest. Mouth open in a scream, green eyes wide and staring, panicking... The whirr of the saw is accompanied by the sickening slapping sounds of intestines knocking against each other. Funny; I didn't hear it before.

They were right.

I press the heels of my hands against my eyes, gritting my teeth together and letting out a low wail. My body is shaking. Maybe I'm just cold. At least my body is still in one piece. The image of Josh's mutilated body is seared into the back of my eyelids. I can't unsee it. I don't know if I ever will. _Chris had to watch this happen..._ I can't imagine.

I could beg and plead for all of this to be a joke, but what good would it do me? I've seen proof enough that he'd dead. And I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. No, I was locked up in a bedroom, completely unharmed. Why me? Why was I the only one of the four of us left alone - I mean, relatively speaking? What makes me so special? Nothing.

Only then do I start crying, _really_ crying, my shoulders shaking with the cacophonous sobs that wrack my body. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to hold the tears back and failing. God, how could this have happened? It was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, and now the one person who was responsible for getting all of us together is - is dead. I cry harder. I can't handle this. I don't know what to do now. The crushing weight of losing my best friend is slowly dragging my heart down to the pits of my stomach. I don't know how to handle losing him. I didn't handle out near-miss very well; right now, the feeling is a million times worse. I couldn't save him. There was no chance for me to. No chance for him to reach out to me. Not this time.

"I'm sorry." I jump at the sound of my own voice, broken and waterlogged. It's too quiet in the shed, and my voice seems to echo in the empty space. Strange. Isn't the saw supposed to be running still? I listen harder, only to be met with silence. Maybe it ran out of power?

Picking myself up off the floor, I wipe away any traces of tears remaining on my face. My body feels numb. Out of the wind, it's much warmer in here than outside. I have to rejoin the group. I'm surprised no one has come looking for me yet. On the other hand, Josh was my only real connection to these people; maybe now that he's dead, they care a lot less about me. I don't know.

I direct myself back toward the shed door, ready to leave. I can't be here anymore, not with his body hanging just on the other side of the wall. And, not only that, the psycho could still be waiting somewhere around here. I have to go now. My footsteps make shallow, empty noises against the old wooden flooring as I walk. It's the only noise I hear, which again strikes me as odd. Would the saw's power really run out that quickly?

I glance over my shoulder, back through the chain link "window". The saw has stopped moving, and so has the body. Blood still drips from his abdomen, down onto the severed lower half of his body which lies forgotten on the floor. I want to be sick, but - wait.

"His head," I whisper.

From where I stand, it looks like his head is missing, but not like it has been cut off. The surface from the shoulders and up is flat and smooth, like plain metal. What the hell? I shake my head in disbelief and turn away. Now I'm seeing things. There's no way his head would be missing. It's just a trick of the light.

Right?

oOoOo

 _Spring break ends all too soon, though at the same time it's nice to get back into a routine. Go to class, eat, do homework, repeat. Spend as little time with my roommate as possible, and as much time with Josh as I think he can stand. He's never explicitly said he gets tired of hanging out with me, but you never know._

 _His father made me promise to keep an eye on him while he's on campus with me, but it's difficult. He's becoming reclusive, hardly leaving his room. I don't know if he even goes to classes anymore. I don't know how much to tell his parents when they call me to check in on how he's doing - he's all but cut off contact with them. They're worried, and I can't do a whole lot to dissuade their anxiety over their son._

 _I'm lying in bed a few weeks after spring break, a book cracked open in my lap. There's music playing softly on my nightstand, something from the band I used to listen to in high school, but secretly. They aren't exactly the most widely-known group, nor the most well-received, but they make great background noise for when I'm reading. Kate is out, and I'm not sure when she'll be back. When I asked, all she said was she'd be out late. Considering it's two in the afternoon, that's just fine with me. I need an afternoon alone with myself._

 _My phone buzzes on the nightstand. Sticking my finger in my book to hold my page, I reach over and grab my phone to see who texted me. My heart skips a beat when I see it's Josh._ Is Kate around? _the message reads._

 _I smile to myself and shake my head, quickly typing back_ No, she's gone until late tonight. What do you need?

You.

 _I can feel my face heat up as I read the message. Just one word and it's like my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. Why does he do this? Why does he have to tease me like this? Does he even realize he's doing it? I'm probably just reading too much into things._

Door's unlocked. I'm here all day. _Truth. I start to read again._

 _Not even ten minutes go by before there's a knock on my door. "Come in!" I shout, setting my book aside. Josh slips through the door and closes it behind him, giving me a shy smile. I grin. "Hey. What's going on?"_

 _He shrugs and walks over to my bed. "Nothing," he says, mumbling a little. He sits on the edge of the bed and scoots over until he's almost on top of me. We can't really fit on this small dorm bed at the same time, at least not if we're both on our backs. It's a tight fit, in any case. Josh rolls onto his side and lays his head on my shoulder, pinning my arm to the mattress. Jerk._

 _"Are you alright?" I ask, giving him a curious look._

 _I almost expect him to snap at me, but he doesn't. "I'm fine," he says, still sounding slightly incoherent. He's talking too softly. "Go back to reading."_

 _I stare at him for a few moments, wondering what in the hell is going on. He's never acted like this before, not once in the few months I've known him. I want to ask him again if he's doing okay, but I keep my mouth shut. His eyes are closed, almost like he's trying to nap, and he asked to hang out with me instead of the other way around. I'll take what I can get, silence and all._

 _We don't speak for nearly an hour. I'm convinced Josh has fallen asleep on my shoulder, as he hasn't moved since he first laid down. Meanwhile, I struggle to hold and turn the pages of my book with only one free hand, but Josh looks too tired and cute to disturb._

 _"How's the book?" he says, making me jump and almost knock his head off my shoulder. "Sorry. Did I scare you?"_

 _"Just startled me," I say, looking down at him. His green eyes are open now, staring up at me. "The book is fine. How was your nap?"_

 _He smiles a little. "I wasn't asleep."_

 _I roll my eyes and set the book down on the nightstand. "What are you doing here, Josh? I've never seen you go an hour without talking before, unless you're asleep."_

 _He gives a short, hollow laugh and throws an arm over my waist, pulling me back toward him. I chuckle and run a hand through his hair. When he nuzzles closer to me I can't stop my stomach from flipping. How can he do this so casually? How is his heart not beating a million miles a minute like mine is? Does he really not feel anything toward me at all?_

 _"What's so funny?" I ask, trying to quiet my frustrated thoughts._

 _"Nothing." He squeezes me once before rolling onto his other side, facing away from me. The arm he'd been lying on stings when I move it. "I just wanted a little more time with you without you being mad at me."_

 _I roll my eyes again. "I already told you I could never be mad at you."_

 _"Disappointed, then."_

 _My eyebrows rise. "Josh, what's going on?"_

 _For a while he doesn't answer, merely stares at the wall with his arms folded around himself. I wait with bated breath. Minutes pass before he speaks again. "I want to leave."_

 _I sit up a little straighter and grab his shoulder, trying to turn him back toward me. He doesn't budge. "What do you mean, 'leave'? Where are you going?"_

 _He shrugs. "Home, I guess." He clears his throat. "Charlie, I want to drop out."_

 _I can't help my mouth falling open in surprise. Should I be surprised, though? I've known for weeks that he's retreating inside of himself, hardly coming out of his room. He must not be attending his classes anymore. "When?"_

 _"As soon as possible." Now he turns back toward me, confusion in his green eyes. "You're not going to fight me on this?"_

 _I hesitate a moment before shrugging. "I mean, I know you're going to do whatever you want anyway." He cracks a smile. "But I do think you should stay the rest of the semester. We're only a month out from summer. It'd suck to waste tuition money just to not finish the semester."_

 _"Money isn't an issue for me, Charlie."_

 _If I roll my eyes anymore they're going to fall right out of their sockets. "I recognize that you have filthy rich parents, Joshua, but I still think it'd be better if you just finished the semester."_

 _He frowns. "I've been skipping class. I doubt I'll even pass the finals."_

 _"Who cares, if you're not going to re-enroll?" I say with a smirk._

 _Josh breaks into a grin. "Okay, true." He pauses for a moment, looking playfully thoughtful. "Fine. I'll finish the semester. But only for you."_

 _I smile, feigning satisfaction. Yes, I'm happy he's staying for the remainder of the semester, but I can't help but feel sort of sad that he doesn't want to return next year. I haven't made a whole lot of friends since transferring to this university, and I don't want to lose him. What if he doesn't speak to me anymore once he leaves? I've only known him for a few months; it's likely to happen. Thinking about it makes it hard to breathe. I like him so much. I can't stand to lose him now._

 _But I can't be selfish. This is his future we're discussing, not mine. He has to make decisions that are the best for him, not just to please me. But there's already an ache starting to grow in my chest, an emptiness begging to be filled. The more he talks about what he'll do instead of college, the less I want to let him go. But I have to._

 _If you truly love something, you must let it go._


	8. EIGHT

I leave the shed in a hurry, trying to put as much distance between myself and Josh's body as I can as quickly as possible. It seems like it's gotten ever colder outside, though I wasn't in the shed all that long. I don't think, anyway. What time even is it? I fish my phone out of my back pocket and pray to God that it still works after my crash landing in that snowbank. It does.

 _How the hell is it one in the morning already?_ Jesus, how long was I unconscious for?

Chris, Ashley, Matt, and Emily are nowhere to be seen when I step outside. There's the mass of footprints where we all stood any my own set leading toward the shed. In addition, there are two sets of prints leading back toward the lodge and another two leading in the opposite direction. _So much for sticking together, huh, Matt?_ I guess I can't really say much, though. I sigh.

I decide to take the route back to the lodge. I have no idea where the footprints in the other direction lead to. Kind of unfortunate that I've never been here. I know I'll get lost at some point. _Just get back to the lodge. Find Sam, and whoever else is around._ We'll figure it all out then.

And maybe try and stay alive along the way. That'd be nice.

 _I have to figure out how to tell Josh's parents what happened..._

My hands are shaking badly enough that I have to tuck them into my sweatshirt pocket to keep them still. Funny - the more I walk, the less I feel the cold. It's like my body is numb to all stimulation. I can hardly hear the sound of snow crunching beneath my boots, yet I'm consciously aware of the beating of my heart. It's too fast. I remove my hands from the sweatshirt pocket and wrap my arms around myself, gripping my sleeves tightly. None of this seems real anymore. I'm walking alone in the woods, hardly able to register where I'm even going. Is this the way back to the lodge or have I veered entirely off course?

My thoughts are racing. I've never felt like this before. With Josh's suicide scare from almost a year ago, the only clarity of thought I had had to do with _him_. If he was okay, how I could have helped , what I would find once I reached the hospital. I was coherent enough to drive forty minutes to the emergency room and now I can't even walk in a straight line. How did this happen?

My boots hit something small and solid and send it skittering across the snow. The action snaps me out of my reverie and I head toward whatever it is that I just kicked. Stooping to get a closer look, I see it's another totem, kind of like the one I found back at the base of the mountain with Josh. _Josh..._ My stomach drops, but I ignore the feeling and grab the totem.

It sort of looks like a bird, with little feathers carved into the wood. I hesitate before turning it over, a bit apprehensive about maybe getting another vision like the one I'd seen before. The black hole in the shape of a butterfly, same as the first totem, is outlined in red. Red. What was red again? I have no time to think back before my vision goes black at the edges and I'm pulled into another one of those weird "prophecy" things.

There's the sound of water splashing and I see myself, waist deep in what looks like an underground lake. _Where the hell is that?_ I wonder. Mike is wading along ahead of me and it sounds like someone is splashing around behind me, though I don't know who it is yet. What the hell is going on?

Mike suddenly gets yanked underwater, disappearing in seconds. I hear myself shriek and see myself jump backwards in surprise. Not even a second later, something bursts out of the water in front of me. Everything happens so fast, I can't even catch a glimpse of what grabs me before I go flying, heading straight toward a rocky wall. There's a sickening cracking sound and I hit the ground, landing in a little hole. Then something is on top of me, pinning me down with strong hands. All I can see are wild, yellow eyes before the vision ends. The sound of someone screaming my name echoes in my ears as I come back to reality. Josh.

I drop the totem on the ground and fall backward into the snow, rapidly scooting away from it. _Black is death, so red must be warning,_ I realize, my eyes widening substantially. But warning against what? There's no way that could ever come true. What person has the brute strength to toss me across a cavern like I'm nothing more than a pebble? The psycho running around on the mountain with us is strong, but he wears a mask. Even if he were to take it off, I doubt he would have yellow eyes like that. It's not real. The totems are all fake.

And then there's the fact that Josh was yelling my name just as the vision ended. I know it was him; I would recognize his voice anywhere. But Josh is dead. My heart throbs as I think it, but it's true. There's no denying. So the vision can't come true because he's dead and therefore can't be with Mike and I, wherever it is we are.

 _But his head was missing._

I shake my own head and get back on my feet, dusting off the back of my jeans. No, his head wasn't missing. It was a trick of the light or something. I was just seeing things. And, anyway, even if his head _was_ gone, why would it even _be_ gone in the first place? Why would the psycho want it? Josh is dead. That's something I'm going to have to accept.

Eventually.

I glance around at my surroundings, realizing I have absolutely no idea where I'm at. In the woods, obviously, but I don't know what direction the lodge is in, or even where the shed is in relation to where I now stand. I look down. My footprints are still pressed into the snow, and it doesn't look like there are any more other than my own. I start to backtrack, searching for the point where I branched off from my friends' trail that will lead me back to the lodge. _There we go. So smart._

I'm much deeper in the woods than I thought I was. After nearly fifteen minutes of following my own prints, I still haven't found the others'. Was I really that out of it when I left the shed?

I hear a noise come from behind me and freeze instantly. It's the sound of snow crunching, heading is my direction. I'm not moving. It's not me. I dart behind a tree as quickly as I can, peering out from behind it, trying to see who's coming toward me. Whoever it is is humming; I can hear it from this far away. A few seconds later I catch a glimpse of a blueish mask and wild black hair. The psycho.

My heart feels like it's about to leap out of my chest. My stomach drops down to my toes. Where do I go? Do I hide? No, I can't hide. My sweatshirt is maroon; it'll stick out like a sore thumb, no matter where I try to conceal myself. My only option is to run. That has to be it.

So I do.

I don't know where in the hell I'm running to. The lodge, hopefully, but at this point I have no trail to follow and no sense of direction in general. I hear the masked man curse from behind me, and then yell. "Charlie!"

 _How in the ever-loving fuck does he know my name?_

I don't have time to think. My lungs are burning and there's a stitch in my side after only minutes of sprinting through the forest. God, why don't I exercise more? I guess I never thought I'd end up being chased through the woods on top of a mountain by a masked murderer, but still; it never hurts to be prepared, and I definitely am _not_.

I don't know how long I run for. Too long. My legs are protesting, but I can't stop. I can still hear him lumbering along after me. Is there a reason he's moving so slow? He probably doesn't know where he's going, either, which I suppose is an advantage for me.

Not long after that thought, I see what looks like the side of the lodge coming into view. I almost cry from relief. There's a window propped open that looks like it'll lead into the basement. There's a storage cabinet - I think? - sitting underneath it, giving me enough height to get through the window. I climb up onto it as fast as I can and grip the windowsill. My arm muscles scream as I heave myself up and through the window. I land very ungracefully on the cement floor inside, throwing a hand over my mouth to muffle my surprised shriek.

There's no time for me to wait and see if the psycho is still coming after me. I'm not really sure how to get out of the basement, seeing as I've never been down here before, but I set off anyway. It's pitch black down here. I would grab my phone and use its flashlight, but I don't wan to drain all of my battery trying to get myself out of the basement. If anything, the darkness will do better to hide me if the psycho is in here with me.

After a while of aimless wandering, I see a strip of light coming from my left. There's a set of stairs leading upward with a door at the top that's cracked open, just slightly. It's the door that I unlocked and let Sam, Josh, and Chris through after Chris pulled that prank on the other two. I can see the lower level of the lodge from here. I'm up the stairs in seconds, suddenly anxious to get out of the dark and into more familiar surroundings.

A small sigh of relief escapes me as I step into the light. There's no actual electricity running - I vaguely remember Josh saying something to Sam about how the weather knocked the power out - but the moon is bright enough that I can see pretty clearly right now. Nice. Now I just have to find Sam...and everyone else.

Great.

"Sa - " I stop. What if the masked man found his way into the lodge with me? I can't go around yelling people's names out; that'd draw too much attention to myself. I should probably just head for the bathroom and see if Sam is in there before I start yelling out names.

I creep toward the stairs, wincing every time the wood creaks. I can hear the wind howling outside, hear branches scraping against the windows. I don't want to be here anymore. This isn't fun anymore. It hasn't been fun for like the last hour or so. How did it get like this? I'm still struggling to wrap my head around everything. Josh is dead. Beyond that, I don't have the foggiest idea what's going on or how to fix any of this. No one's heard from Jess and Mike for a while, as far as I'm aware. Are they even alive still? Is anyone?

I shake my head and continue trudging up the stairs. I don't want to think anymore. I'm exhausted. I should have slept like Josh told me to. I hate admitting when anyone but myself is correct. At least he's not around to gloat, right?

It feels like the floor is dropping out from under me. I have to sit down, catch my breath, _something_. I can't breathe. My legs ache. My head is spinning. I can't think straight. _Josh, oh my God, Josh is gone._ I know this. I've known this for like an hour now. An hour? Has it been an hour since I found his body? It's as if time has no meaning anymore. It's passing too fast, it's passing too slowly, it's standing still... My grief-addled mind can't cope, is what this is starting to feel like. I've never experienced this before. My heart feels too heavy in my chest, like a solid chunk of metal suspended in stone. I slump forward and put my face in my hands.

Stop crying. I have to stop crying. I have to find the others, not sit here in the open, vulnerable, waiting to be attacked. Right? Isn't that what I want? To get out of here? Yes. Yes, I have to get out of here. Alive. So I can tell Josh's parents what happened. So they know it wasn't another suicide attempt; it was the work of some freak up on the mountain with us. It's nobody's fault.

The floor creaks, but I haven't moved a muscle in the last few minutes. My breath catches in my throat. I can't tell which direction the noise came from. "S-Sam?" I whisper.

The one creaking sound suddenly becomes rapid footsteps coming toward me from behind. I'm on my feet in seconds, whirling around to see who is coming at me. As soon as I see the mask, I whip back around and sprint down the stairs, skipping over every other one. "No no no no _no no no!_ " I'm already out of breath. I don't know how much longer I can keep up all this running.

"Get back here!" His shouting makes my head pound.

As soon as I leap off the last couple of stairs, I dart to the left and down a hallway. I don't have any idea where I'm going or where this hallway leads. With each step I take it feels like the psycho gains two on me. "Please, stop! Just leave me alone!" God, I'm pathetic.

It takes a lot less time to reach the end of the hallway that I want it to. There's a door at the end of the hall and I throw myself at it, hoping to escape through it and find some way to barricade it and buy myself some time. But it's locked. _Of fucking course it is._ I feel like crying, but I can't. _Hold it together,_ I tell myself. _Try and talk your way out of this. Or at least throw some punches before you die._

The masked man stops running as soon as he catches on that I'm cornered. Now he walks painfully slowly, the gas mask he had shoved over my face before now dangling from one of his hands. I can hear the sound of blood rushing in my ears. "Finally you stop running," he says. Does he sound disappointed? I don't know. He sighs.

"Who are you?" I snap. "Why are you here? I don't - I don't understand."

He chuckles. "You don't understand because you don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you killed Josh, you asshole!" I'm in borderline hysterics. My back is pressed against the door, my fingers splayed out against the wood. I both want to stay as far away from him as possible and take a swing at his face, maybe rip off that mask and see the face underneath. "Cutting someone in half with a saw? An innocent person? _You're sick!_ "

The man sighs again and looks down to the mask in his hand. "You weren't supposed to see that."

My eyebrows furrow and it's all I can do to refrain from screaming. "What, I wasn't supposed to see that you cut his fucking head off? Who _does_ that?"

The psycho snaps his head in my direction. I can't see his eyes, but I know he's staring. "What did you say?"

Now I'm unsure. I couldn't stop the accusation from bursting out, but now that it has, I don't know if I was actually right or not. He seems confused. At least, I think he seems confused. Was it really just a trick of the light? Just my imagination? "I - I don't - " I stutter. I can't finish the sentence.

The psycho stalks toward me, holding the gas mask aloft. He shakes his head, making a _tsk_ ing sound with his tongue. "Oh, Charlie," he says. "You should have listened to me."

There is nowhere I can go. I'm surrounded by walls, trapped up against a door, waiting for death. Or at least to be knocked out again, if it's the same gaseous substance in that mask as it was earlier. Why me? Why am I getting knocked out while Josh gets cut in half? Where's the fairness in that? _Don't argue. At least you're alive. For now._

"This'll be easier if you don't fight me," he says. "Just stay still."

Like hell I'm going to stay still.

As soon as he's directly in front of me, I lash out with one hand and try to strike at his neck. The side of my hand knocks against his throat, making him stumble backward, choking. He'll only be stunned for a couple of seconds, so I waste no time in shoving my way around him and racing back the way we'd come.

"Help! Someone!" I shriek, hoping maybe one of my friends will be around to hear me. But what could they do even if they _were_ around? Do any of us even stand a chance?

The stairs or the front door? Which direction do I go? Horror movie clichés have taught me that you should never run upstairs or to the basement, but would I last much longer if I ran out into the snowy woods? That's what Beth and Hannah did a year ago, and their bodies still haven't been found.

I sprint toward the stairs, trying to dash up them as quickly as possible. If I can hide myself away in a room with a window, I'll at least be able to escape outside if I need to. I'll probably need to.

Something grabs the back of my sweatshirt and yanks. I scream as I fly backwards. The back of my head knocks against one of the wooden steps with a sickening _thwack_ and I tumble the rest of the way down the stairs. Stars dance in my line of sight. The pain in my skull is so great I could vomit. I lie at the bottom of the staircase in a limp heap, too disoriented from my fall to do much of anything.

Slow footsteps approach me, lazily clunking down the stairs I just rolled down. Again with the _tsk_ ing sound. "I told you to stay still," the psycho says. He sounds disappointed. I try to sit up but my head spins and I have to lie back down. "Now what to do with you?"

"Stop," I say, but my voice is weak. My vision is blurry at the edges.

The man crouches down in front of me and sets the gas mask over my mouth and nose. I'm powerless to resist. "Oh, Charlie," he says quietly. "Charlie, Charlie, Charlie." He shakes his head.

My vision fades. Just before I pass out, the psycho speaks again. "I'm sorry, but you should have listened to me. You weren't supposed to see any of this."

oOoOo

 _Spring semester of my freshman year of college ends relatively well. I passed all of my finals by some stroke of luck, but I couldn't convince Josh to enroll in any classes in the fall. At least I'm home now, I guess. I can see Josh whenever I really want to; or whenever he wants to see me, rather._

 _My phone rings. Speaking of Josh... I grab my phone off the coffee table and pause Netflix, plastering a smile to my face. "Josh. Hey," I say, sitting back on the couch._

 _"Charlie!" He sounds cheery, which is a blessing in and of itself. Since our trip to the hospital back in March, every time the phone rings I expect it to be more bad news. "Come see me. I miss you."_

 _I roll my eyes but can't suppress a grin. "Honey, classes only ended like three days ago."_

 _"Well, three days is too long, and I miss you."_

 _I try not to read too far into that statement, no matter how much I want to. We're friends. He wants to see me because we're friends. I smile softly and nods, even though he can't see either action. "Alright. You know you can come see me at_ my _place, right? My family doesn't bite."_

 _"Yeah, but you don't have a beach nearby, and I need some sun. Now get your ass to my house and wear something hot." With that, he hangs up._

 _I sigh, letting my shoulders droop a little. Time to unearth my swimsuit._

 _xxx_

 _Josh is sitting on the front steps of his family's mansion when I pull my car into the driveway. His elbows are resting on his knees, his chin propped up with his palms. When he notices I've arrived, he perks up instantly and dashes over to my car, a small bag thumping along behind him as he drags it._

 _"Hey!" he says with a grin. "Don't shut the car off. Let's go!" He yanks the passenger door open and climbs in, tucking his bag below the dashboard. Leaning across the center console, he kisses my cheek. "Nice to see you. Now, come on!"_

 _My heartbeat is erratic in my chest. I can feel the blood pounding in my ears. I haven't been outside long enough to be sunburnt yet, but my face feels like it's on fire. Why does he have to act like this? The mixed signals are going to be the death of me. He can't just be a little overly affectionate and then pretend that nothing happened, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. It's not fair._

 _I plaster a smile to my face and shift the car back into "drive". "You're going to have to give me directions, because I have no idea where this beach is."_

 _He's grinning. "I know. Take a left up here."_

 _And so we continue on like that, Josh instructing me on which turns to take, which lanes to be in. By the time we reach the beach and get my car parked, my heart has calmed down considerably. We're just two friends going to the beach. That's all this little trip is. Two friends, one completely taken with the other, and the other too oblivious to notice._

 _Josh pulls a beach towel out of his bag and claims a spot on the sand. Seconds later, his t-shirt is lying on top of it. I feel my face heat up again and look down, making myself busy with laying my own towel out. I slide my shorts off and sit down, wearing only my swimsuit bottoms and my tank top. Maybe I'll wait a little while before taking off my shirt. I don't want to swim right away, anyway. Definitely not._

 _A shadow falls across me. I look up, trying very hard to maintain eye contact with Josh instead of ogling his bare chest. Honestly, this is more difficult than my philosophy final was. "Can I help you, Joshua?" I ask, shielding my eyes from the sun. I hate how much my voice shakes. "You're blocking my sun."_

 _He smirks and looks me up and down. "Are you not getting in the water?" I shrug. "Fine. I'm going to go swim for a while. Don't go anywhere." He shoots me a wink before running across the sand, veering straight toward the water. I watch him go, laughing when he throws himself into the ocean and immediately pops back up, his wet hair dripping into his eyes._

 _I reach into the bag I brought and grab my book, cracking it open to the page I'd left off on. I can read while Josh has his fun, and while I wait to work up the nerve to take my tank top off. I don't really have body issues - I just have I'm-apparently-too-awkward-around-Josh issues._

 _I lie stretched out on my towel for a while, trying to get further into this novel. Josh occasionally shouts my name and makes silly faces at me, but for the most part he hangs out on his own. I feel kind of bad about it, but I'm not ready to get in the water yet. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of swimming. I haven't been since I was a kid. But I'll do whatever I have to just to spend time with Josh._

 _"Oh my God, are you Josh Washington?"_

 _I lift my head in time to see some girl draping herself across Josh, grabbing onto his arm. He came out of the water at some point and is now standing just a few feet away from me. There's another girl with them, standing too close to Josh for comfort with one hand on his shoulder._

 _"Um, yeah, I am," he says, his green eyes darting in my direction. "What can I do for you, ladies?"_

 _My stomach clenches as I watch their interaction take place. Of course women would come after him. I mean, look at him. He's gorgeous. He could definitely make it as a model, especially with what he's always hiding beneath his shirt. Hot damn. So I shouldn't slowly be getting angrier the more those girls touch him._

 _"Are you, like, here with anyone?" the second girl asks. "Because you should definitely be hanging out with us."_

 _Josh shoots me another glance, his eyes almost looking pleading. Is he asking me to get him out of there? What is he expecting_ me _to do about it? The girls quickly notice that he's not paying attention to them and look my way, their lips curling._

 _The first girl lightly stroke Josh's arm with her index finger. "Are you here with_ her _?" she asks, almost sounding disgusted._

 _Josh almost looks like he's taking offense to her tone. "Yes, actually." He looks at me again and motions with his hand for me to join the three of them. "Babe, come here for a sec."_

 _I blush at the pet name and set my book aside, quickly getting to my feet. I do my best to put on a confident air and stalk right up to them, letting my anger take over a little. "What did you need, hon?" I ask, playing along. I give both girls a withering look before bumping the second one aside and wrapping my arm around Josh's. He's still soaking wet, which creates a wet spot on the side of my tank top. "Are these girls bothering you?"_

 _Both women are glowering at me, but they back away from Josh quickly. "You could do a lot better than_ that _, you know," the first girl spits before stomping away, the second girl in tow._

 _As soon as they're out of earshot, Josh begins to laugh. He turns toward me and wraps me up in a bear hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me and further soaking my shirt. "Thanks for that. I'm not sure what I would have done if you hadn't stepped in."_

 _I raise an eyebrow as we walk back to our towels. "What are you talking about? I happen to know you're of a Playboy mindset. Flirting is a game to you." Do I sound bitter? I certainly feel bitter._

 _"I don't know." Josh shrugs once and sits down on his towel, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Before...before my sisters went missing, talking to girls was super easy, and I really enjoyed all of the attention. But now..."_

 _"What?"_

 _He shrugs again. "I'm just not interested in other women. The attention just makes me nauseous now. I don't want them falling all over me."_

 _I smile a little. "But you know it's going to keep happening, right?" He gives me a curious look, waiting for me to go on. "You're like,_ super _hot, Josh."_

 _He breaks into a grin. "Oh, yeah?" I blush and look away. "Well, thanks. I appreciate that."_

 _I mumble something to myself and go to pick my book up again, but Josh lays his hand over mine and stops me. My breath catches in my throat. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks. I nod. "You're not thinking about what those girls said, are you? About me being able to do better? Because that's not true."_

 _"What are you talking about?" I ask. I know what he's referring to, but it really didn't bother me that much. Petty insults are the least of my concerns, honestly. So why does it bother Josh so much? "I'm fine. I didn't think anything of it."_

 _Josh exhales slowly and lays back, clasping his hands behind his head. "Right. Sorry."_

 _I lie down as well, but roll onto my side so I can look at him. "Are you okay? This is the second time you've brought something like this up," I say, thinking back to the conversation we'd had in the hallway after he'd told off my roommate._

 _He shrugs. "I'm just used to having talks like that, I guess." He closes his eyes and doesn't speak for a few moments. When he does, his voice sounds strained. "Hannah always had a lot of issues with herself. She always thought Beth was prettier, and she hated the fact that she needed glasses. And she was just - " He breaks off and takes a deep breath. He releases it slowly before going on. "She was so concerned with what Mike thought of her that she kept trying to change herself to be what he wanted. To look like Emily, to do the things Emily would do. She got a tattoo because she thought it would make her interesting and make Mike like her more, but she already_ was _interesting. She didn't have to - "_

 _Josh breaks off again, his voice cracking. I reach out and lay my hand over top of his. He flips his hand till his palm is facing upward, pressed against mine. He squeezes my fingers lightly. "I understand," I say quietly. "You don't have to keep talking about this if it's too difficult."_

 _"No, it's okay," he says. His voice is just as soft as mine. I almost can't hear him over the sounds of the other beachgoers. "Sam told me what happened the night my sisters disappeared. The stupid prank they'd all played on Hannah. It just - it breaks my heart." He turns his face away from me, but not before I catch a quick glimpse of the tears forming in his eyes. Or maybe his face is still wet from the ocean. "I couldn't get it through her head that she was perfect just the way she was, and now she's gone, and I can't anymore."_

 _I squeeze his hand. He squeezes back, maintaining a constant tight grip on my fingers. "You're a good brother, Josh."_

 _He laughs a little, under his breath. "Thanks."_

 _We're both silent for a while, just lying here listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the screams of children as they play in the sand. Despite there being so many people, it's almost peaceful out here. I'm glad I came to see him. I needed a break like this, especially so soon after the end of the semester._

 _"Charlie?" I hum in response. Josh turns back to face me, a small smile gracing his lips. "I know what those girls said didn't bother you, but, if it means anything, if we were together, there would never be anyone better than you."_


	9. NINE

|| NINE ||

My head is throbbing when I finally come to. I'm back in Josh's room for God knows what reason. The mattress and quilt are soft, which feels kind of nice against my sore head, but I know I can't stay here long. Who knows when the psycho will be back, if he's not already on his way. I have to get up. I have to go.

But when I go to sit up, my vision goes black and I collapse back onto the pillows. The room is spinning. The pain in my head is so great that it makes me dizzy, and when I once again attempt to get off the bed, my stomach drops down to my toes and I almost throw up. Fortunately my stomach is stronger than I usually give it credit for, and I'm able to force the nausea back down to a manageable level.

 _Fucking psycho, throwing me down the stairs like that..._

I roll over onto my stomach and wiggle toward the edge of my bed, dangling my feet over the side. When I feel my toes hit the ground I slide backward until I'm crouched down on the floor, my forehead pressed against the side of the mattress. If I stay hunched over like this, my head doesn't hurt. Unfortunately, I can't stay like this a whole lot longer. I've got to get out of here. I have to find everyone else - if they're still alive.

Once again I'm left wondering why in the hell _I'm_ still alive. Why has the psycho kept me alive, only locking me up in a bedroom, when he could very easily have killed me like he did with Josh. What makes me so special?

Something feels wrong.

As soon as the spinning gets somewhat under control, I stand up straight. For a brief moment the floor feels like it's about to slip out from beneath my feet, but the sensation passes quickly and everything is okay again. Well, about as "okay" as I can be, trying to avoid a murderer. Joy.

I absentmindedly rub my forehead with my fingertips as I head toward the door. There's no harm in checking to make sure the door is locked, is there? I have no doubt that it is. Gripping the handle, I turn and glance over my shoulder at the window. It's shut. I know for a fact that I had left it open when I escaped earlier in the night. From where I stand, it even looks like there's a lock around the latch to prevent me pushing the damn thing open again. Great. Now I really _am_ stuck in here.

May as well check the door though, right?

To my surprise, the knob actually twists. The hinges creak as the door opens inward. I go slowly, though, trying not to draw too much attention to the fact that I'm actually getting out. Did he just forget to lock it, or was this blunder intentional? In any case, I'm free to get the hell out of this room, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I close the door quietly behind me. Honestly, I have no idea where I should be going in order to find the others. Last I knew, Sam was in the bath. I'm not exactly sure where the bathroom is, but I figure I may as well try to find it. Maybe there'll be a clue as to where I should be going next.

I take off walking in the direction opposite of Josh's bedroom. I don't know if this is the right way to go, but I remember hearing Sam yelling down at Josh as she made her way to the bathroom, so I guess this way is as good as any. In reality, I don't really know.

I make slow progress down the hallway, freezing up each time I hear the slightest noise. I'm expecting it to be the psycho, having finally realized that I escaped from the bedroom and am on the move. But minutes go by and I still haven't been caught. It's only a matter of time.

I'm actually surprised when I stumble upon the bathroom. I'm not surprised, however, to see that Sam isn't in there. Admittedly, it would have been pretty awkward to just barge into the bathroom unannounced to find her still relaxing in the bath, stark naked. We're not to that level in our friendship quite yet. Despite my momentary relief at not wandering into a naked friend and inevitable embarrassing the hell out of both of us, now I begin to feel uneasy. If she's not in the bath still, and she wasn't responding when I called out for her before I got attacked again, then where could she be? This isn't good.

I spin in slow circles, taking in the large bathtub with candles that look like they've been recently blown out. There's water on the floor in the shape of footprints that lead back toward the door. She did leave, then, and it definitely doesn't look like she was dragged kicking and screaming out of here. Off to my left is a little table with a few towels and what looks like a discarded sock. Did she forget to put a sock on when she got dressed or what?

Shaking my head, I turn around and walk back out into the hall. Now what am I supposed to do? That didn't tell me anything.

I creep back toward the stairs, figuring the only other place for me to explore must be the basement, as much as I would rather it wasn't. I was on the main level before I got attacked the second time, and there was no sign of anyone. So, if anyone is still left in the lodge, they have to be in the basement. Logically that seems like the best answer, even if all of my horror movie alarm bells are going off.

It doesn't take long for me to find the door to the basement that I had run out of earlier. I'm quite pleased to say that I think I'm finally figuring out how to get around in this lodge, as gigantic as it is. It's just as dark down here as when I came through the window before, but I still don't turn on my phone's flashlight. What if the psycho sees it and comes after me? I don't even know if he's down here...

I slip on one of the steps and fall forward, landing on my hands and knees. I can't stop a surprised cry from slipping out of my mouth, but I quickly clamp my jaws shut. My knees and the heels of my hands are stinging. I'm sure I've ripped my jeans open from the impact, though I don't think I'm bleeding. Back on my feet, I hastily pull my phone out of my back pocket. Maybe I was wrong to not have a flashlight on me.

The stair I tripped on is crumbling on one side, which must be where I had placed my foot. I sigh. _Right, well, I guess I need the light after all._

I still have no idea where I'm going. There's a maze of rooms in this basement, and most of the doors are locked. Should I be thankful for that? In any case, the small handful of rooms I _have_ been able to walk into have yielded nothing useful for my quest. And so the search continues.

I have to admit, the longer I walk, the less I feel like I'm still in the basement beneath the lodge. I know the building is enormous, especially when you look at it from the outside, but most basements aren't this large, are they?

And then it hits me - this used to be a hotel. Hotels probably have much larger basements, considering there would have to be tons of staff members to look after everything. Which means there must be offices and storage rooms somewhere down here. Most of the things in this area look untouched and are completely covered with dust. Maybe I'll be able to find a real flashlight somewhere in one of these rooms; I'd hate for my phone to die before we get off this mountain. With the power out in the lodge there'll be no way to charge it - not that I'd have much time anyway, in between running for my life.

I wander the basement for another fifteen or twenty minutes before stumbling into a room containing a desk and a few racks of shelving. Various objects are scattered about, though nothing looks like it'd be very helpful on my quest. Strangely enough, though, the dust covering every inch of the room seems to be disturbed on the desk. Someone's been here before me.

I walk toward it, reaching a hand out for the top desk drawer. There's a simple folder along with assorted junk inside, the smudge of a fingerprint on the edge of the folder. "What is this?" I say quietly to myself.

Tossing it onto the desk, I flip the cover open. It's official documentation from Ocean View Hospital, the same hospital that Josh had been taken to after his incident with his medication. And there's his name, printed right below the headline in bold lettering - **JOSHUA WASHINGTON**.

"'Final psychiatric evaluation'," I read off. "'Doctor A. Hill'..." Why is this down here?

I shouldn't read this, but my curiosity is piqued and I hastily flip through the pages. There's a long list of all the different psychiatrists he's seen in his lifetime. It almost makes me sad. He had told me before that he had been in therapy for several years, but I had no idea it'd been over nine years, putting him in counseling since he was eleven - because of an incident at school, according to the psychiatric report I still hold in my hands. There are a total of five professionals listed, and four different medications, which I find the longer I read.

There's even a list of the side effects that can happen when you come off the medication.

I drop the folder back onto the desk, the sound of fluttering pages filling the otherwise silent room. I don't want to read any more of this. The information makes my heart ache.

I turn my back on the desk and face the shelves. Maybe there's something over there that could give me a clue as to what's going on around here. I have no doubt that the psycho is the one who's been in this room before me, as I don't know why any of my friends would have willingly traveled this far into the basement. Really, though, I don't know.

An object on one of the shelves catches my eye. It glints when I shine my phone's flashlight on it. I quickly walk toward it and snatch it off the shelf. It's another phone - it's Josh's phone. _Why is Josh's phone all the way down here?_ Something about this feels really, really wrong.

I shouldn't snoop. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't snoop, but it's not like Josh is here to scold me for going through his phone. But - but maybe not for the reason I originally thought.

There are messages from this morning, around the time that I would have been hanging out in his room, watching him finish packing for this trip. They're from Dr. Hill. I find it a little strange that his therapist chooses to communicate through text, but I understand as soon as I begin to read.

 _Hi Josh, it's Alan. I hope you don't mind me texting you, but this is important. I got your email. I don't think that your plan is going to help. I think you need to stop what you're doing and come to see me._

 _Josh, please pick up your phone. I'm getting worried._

"'Leave me alone'," I read quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. My hands are shaking. The message was typed in all caps.

 _Are you still taking your meds?_

"'I'm fine'." I don't know if I can keep reading this. But there aren't many messages left, and none of them are responses form Josh.

 _It's very dangerous to stop taking your drugs mid-course, Josh._

 _Contact my office to make an appointment, please._

 _Josh?_

 _Josh, please respond._

I tuck his phone into my back pocket and run back over to the desk, flipping back through the psych evaluation. The side effects. The side effects of stopping the medication too soon. I know I saw it, _I know it_. There.

 _Nausea, insomnia, nightmares, agitation, hallucinations, paranoia, aggressiveness, slurred speech, ataxia, catatonia, shocks._

I cram the papers back into the folder and throw the bundle back into the desk drawer before slamming it shut. I don't care if the psycho hears me. He won't hurt me. Everything makes sense. I know what's going on. I just have to find the others.

I take off at a faster clip down the hallway, searching for any sign of anyone else roaming around down here - or trapped down here. There are so many twists and turns, I'm not sure how I'll ever find my way out of here again once this is all over. And it'll be over soon. I know it. I just need to find everyone else first.

There's a room on my right covered in TV monitors showing different rooms in the lodge. I can barely see Chris and Ashley seated across from each other at a table on one of the screens through the little window in the door. I don't stop to gawk, however. I'm a woman on a mission.

On a table off to the side of the hall, a little ways past the door, sits what looks to be a tape recorder. I don't want to listen to it, but I know it'll be the last nail in the coffin for my theory. I just know it.

I press the button.

"Hello. And thank you all for joining me. Tonight, we're going to conduct a little experiment." It's definitely the psycho voice. It sounds like he's practicing his lines. The recording continues, though the voice has changed. "Hello - hello children. No, that's not right... Greetings, pilgrims."

I shove the tape recorder off the table in a fit of rage. Goddammit. Why is this happening? How could it possibly have gotten to this point, why didn't I _know_ , why didn't I _see_? "Fuck!" I yell, kicking the table leg. I hardly even feel it. I know that voice. Goddammit, I know that voice.

I head even further down the hall. I'm walking so fast I can hear my footsteps echoing against the cement walls and floor. There's a fire beginning to boil in my veins, fueling me forward. This has to end. It has to end now.

There's a room with an empty office chair in the middle and a crumpled towel on the floor. Sam has been here. No one else had any use for a towel. Hopefully she found some clothes to change into. I can't imagine her running around naked, in any case. There's a camera on a tripod off to the side. I don't bother with it. On the opposite side of the room is another door, this one opening up to a short set of stairs leading down. I cross the room in three easy strides and skip every other step on my way down to the lower level.

Here there are two doors, both open. One on the left, one on the right. The left side seems like it leads into a tunnel heading deeper into the mountain. The right seems to lead further beneath the lodge. Shrill screaming on my right makes my mind up for me.

I'm moving at a dead sprint now, bolting down the hallway toward the voices. It's Ashley, I can hear her. Chris is yelling, I think I hear Sam shrieking, and maybe Mike, too. And the psycho. The psycho is laughing.

"No! No, no, no, get away!"

Gunshots.

More laughter.

I burst through the last door. Strangely enough, as much as I've been running tonight, I'm hardly out of breath. "Josh!" I shout. All the noise in the room quiets as all faces turn to me, the masked man included. I catch sight of the sawblades buzzing above Chris and Ashley's heads, the gun lying on the table, the shocked expressions on Sam and Mike's faces.

I want to cry. I can't believe this. I'm shaking so badly I almost feel like I need to sit down to stop the tremors. The pain in my head flares up against as I lock eyes with the psycho. Stone faced, I ball my hands into fists. "Josh," I say again. My voice is quiet and filled with rage. "That's enough."

oOoOo

 _Summer ends too soon and, before I know it, I'm back on campus in the fall. I chose not to continue living with my roommate from the year before, so now I'm with an art major who mostly keeps to herself, with is okay with me. I don't have to be best friends with my roommate in order to have a good college experience, and we're at least friendly when we interact._

 _I'm sitting out on central campus with a book in my hand and my back pressed against the trunk of a tree. The weather is beautiful: the sun is shining, there are fluffy white clouds in the sky, and it's warm enough that I can comfortably wear shorts and a tank top. But as nice as it is outside, and as good as the book I'm reading is, there's still that soft panging feeling of something missing._

 _"You doing okay?"_

 _I lift my head, shielding my eyes against the glare of the sun. My roommate, Rebecca, is standing before me, a look of concern on her face. I attempt a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"_

 _She grins. "Well you've missed all of your classes so far today. The semester just started, Charlie; shouldn't you be making a little bit more of an effort?"_

 _I shrug. "I'll catch back up. Don't worry about me. I don't quit so easily." Unlike someone else I know._

 _Rebecca gives me a lopsided smile and crouches down until she's at my level. "It's about that guy, right? The one you were telling me about? What was his name - "_

 _"Josh," I say, failing to suppress a frown._

 _She smiles. "Right. Josh. Are you still upset that he didn't come back to campus?" I shrug. "Don't lie to me."_

 _My laugh sounds stiff. Of course I'm upset. I had wanted to convince him to come back to school, to keep trying for his degree, to come back to_ me _, but no dice. Any time I mentioned it, he got angry and told me that it wasn't a good fit for him anymore. That he was moving on to bigger and better things. As far as I'm aware, "bigger" and "better" are just sitting on the couch watching movies all day. He could be_ making _those movies, but he refuses to try._

 _"I'm okay," I say. It's not a complete lie, not really. "I just haven't heard from him in a while and it's kinda bumming me out."_

 _Rebecca shrugs and pats my shoulder with one hand. "I'm sure he'll come around. Don't go getting mad at him for trying to live his life the way he wants."_

 _"I'm not mad," I say with a sigh. "I'm just disappointed."_


	10. TEN

|| TEN ||

For a moment, there's silence. All eyes are on me. I'm fuming, fists clenched at my sides. My chest is heaving; all the exercise is finally catching up to me, I guess. Silence. Just silence.

"Take it off," I say in a low voice, slowly walking toward the man in the mask - and my best friend. "Take the mask off."

He does as I say, gripping the sides of the mask and yanking it off of his head at an agonizingly slow pace. Such dramatic flair. Creating tension. Goddammit.

The mask falls to the floor beside him as his green eyes fixate on me. I freeze. There's an aching in my chest. I knew I was right about my theory, my assumption, but that didn't make the reveal any less painful. "How could you?" My voice is so soft I'm not sure I even spoke a word.

Meanwhile, everyone else seems to be catching up to what's going on. "Josh?" That's Chris. As he speaks, Josh begins to laugh, the grave look he'd been giving me instantly falling away.

"Josh!" Now it's Sam. She's yelling. And Josh continues to laugh.

"Josh..." Mike sounds more resigned than upset, though judging by the look on his face, that's carefully concealed anger I'm witnessing.

Josh begins to pace, rotating in slow circles around the table, around his friends, around _me_. "Oh, oh, very good!" His voice is cacophonous with joy. I feel nauseous. "Every one of you got my name! And after all you've been through! Good, good-good-good. I mean, how does that feel?"

As he's talking, rambling, more like, Mike and Sam go to Chris and Ashley's aide, trying to undo their bindings. They're all silent, cold stares on their faces. I'm frozen where I stand, unable to fathom how in the hell things could have gone so far. How could none of us have known?

 _You were too content to believe everything was okay._

"How does it feel? Do you _enjoy_ feeling terrorized? Humiliated? I mean, _panicked_?" He's still going. "All those emotions that my sisters got to feel once one year ago? Only, guess what?" A man with so much to say, though I guess he didn't have the words before to tell anyone how much he must have been hurting on the inside. I'm not angry anymore. I don't know what I am.

 _I should have been there._

"They didn't get to laugh it off! No! Nope! No, no, no, they're gone!" He's almost singing the words, but I can see the pain he's trying to mask. He can't hide from me. Not anymore.

"I don't know if you noticed this, Josh, but none of us are laughing." There's the anger, slowly unraveling as Mike gesticulates wildly, the slow-burning fire in his eyes steadily gaining oxygen.

 _Hallucinations...aggressiveness...slurred speech..._

There's a grin on Josh's face. "Oh, come, come-come-come-come. Why the long faces? Come on! It's good to get the heart racing every now and then, right?"

I make my way toward him. My legs feel stiff. My lungs don't seem to be taking in enough air. I lift my hand to reach for him, but it only hangs in the empty space. "Josh..."

"And race they did, I mean, every one of you, just pitter-pat, pitter-pat! I hope you appreciated my little phantasmagorical spectacle! I mean, no detail too small, no opportunity missed. It was such a delight to play the puppet master to all of your Pavlovian panic!"

The frigid expressions on our friends' faces haven't changed since Josh first opened his mouth. I can't blame them. I would be angry, too, if half of the things that had happened to them had been done to me as well. But no, I was only locked in a bedroom, made to wait and wonder just what was happening to everyone else. Should I be thankful?

"Josh," I say, a little louder than I'd been before.

It's like he doesn't hear me. Like there's nothing registering for him except his own monologue. "And all that gore? I mean, gore, there was gore galore! Fake bodies..." So that was why his head was missing before. A fake body he'd hidden behind. "I mean, God, that shit was expensive!"

 _Did your parents know they were funding this, Josh?_

"And no retakes! Nope, nope, nope, only double takes! You should've seen your faces." Can he see our faces now? How utterly unimpressed all of his friends are with this magic show he's put on? Does he see? Does he care?

I lay a hand on his arm, but it's as if he doesn't feel it. He doesn't even look at me. But his mouth continues to move, that half-crazed smile never leaving his lips. That's not the smile I fell in love with. This isn't the _man_ I fell in love with. This is someone else, some stranger, some foreign entity inhabiting the empty shell of a body I used to look forward to seeing. Now it's like seeing a ghost.

"Josh, why are you doing this?" Now Sam is angry, her eyes narrowed into a glare, her lips pulled back in a sneer.

Mike gives Josh no time to answer. "Don't even ask this squirrelly little runt," he snaps. "He's got no clue. He's out of his fucking tree."

"Well he's definitely off his meds." Chris and I speak at the same time and exchange surprised glances. He knew? He knew his friend had stopped taking his medication, and he hadn't done anything about it? I only just found out. If I had known before, I would have intervened sooner. If Chris caught on so quickly, why are we standing here now?

Josh starts to whine. "Aw, come on, you guys. Revenge is the _best_ medicine!"

"You're done." Mike's gaze is so cold I'm half-expecting him to vault the table standing between him and Josh.

"Mike, he's sick," Chris says. Of course he is.

Any sympathy his friends could have possibly had left for him likely evaporates as soon as Josh opens his mouth again. "What? Come on, you guys are all going to thank me when you guys become internet sensations!" Nothing but confusion, and more irritation. "Oh, you better believe this little puppy is going viral, ladies and germs. I mean, we got unrequited love - " He shoots a quick look at Chris and Ashley. "We got - We got blood! I don't think there's enough hard drives in China to count all the views we're gonna get, you guys."

Mike slowly begins to advance on Josh. For the first time I notice the gun dangling from his hand. Almost instinctively, I place my body slightly in front of Josh's. "What are you talking about, you ass hat?" Mike snarls. "Jessica is fucking dead."

Complete shock and silence in the room, aside from Josh's quiet, breathy voice. "What?"

"Did you hear me?" Mike's voice is almost mocking now. I don't like the dark look in his eyes. "Jessica is dead, and you are gonna _fucking pay you dick!_ "

I don't know how I do it. It's like time slows down. I see Mike raise the hand holding the gun, and even though I see his fingers wrapped around the barrel of the weapon and know he won't shoot, I lash my hand out at the same time. I grab the butt of the gun centimeters before it smashes into Josh's face. I can hear the blood rushing, _pounding_ in my ears. My eyes are just as wide as Mike's. My palm stings from gripping the gun so tightly; my shoulder aches from suddenly stopping it from hitting Josh. The edges of my vision blur and I can only focus on Mike's eyes directly in front of my own. "Stop," I say quietly.

Mike almost smiles at me. "Yeah, I think you stopped me yourself there, Charlie."

My lips twitch. "Just let me - let me handle this, okay? Let me talk to him."

For a moment, Mike says nothing. But then he drops his hand back to his side, taking the gun with him. He sighs. "Alright. Be careful." He switches his attention to Josh, that dark look slowly creeping back onto his face. "You try anything funny and I'll end you - "

"Mike," I say warningly.

" - seriously injure you," he says, sighing once more. He looks back to me. "Don't leave this room."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever you say, Mom."

He half smiles at me before going back to stand with Sam, Chris, and Ashley. When he's safely out of earshot, I turn back to Josh. His green eyes are staring at me, but it's like he's not really seeing me. "Josh." Nothing. I tap his chest. "Hey, Josh. Look at me."

His eyes come back into focus. "I'm already looking at you."

I try to smile, but I can't. Now that it's just the two of us standing here, I don't know what to say. Shifting my gaze away from his face, I look him over. There's blood on his left shoulder, and the large shirt he's wearing has a hole in it that's slowly turning a deeper shade of red. "You're bleeding. What happened?"

I can feel his fingertips against my waist and try to ignore how my heartbeat picks up. "Ashley... Ashley stabbed me with a pair of scissors."

There's a flicker of irritation toward the redhead that I quickly extinguish. Self-defense. "Bet you deserved it." Does that sound harsh? Do I _want_ it to sound harsh? He did something wrong, _really wrong_ , and he has to understand that. But, still, scolding him doesn't sit right in my stomach.

"You're mad at me." His voice is nothing but a mumble. "You promised you'd never get mad at me."

"You made me promise that, when you knew all of this was going to happen." He flinches. "How could you do this, Josh?"

His voice is even quieter than it was before. "You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Josh," I say in exasperation. "I'm just disappointed."

He steps toward me with heavy-lidded eyes, looking like he's half asleep. He leans toward me, and I instinctively try to take a step backward, but the hands on my waist hold me in place. His gaze darts around my face before he finally looks down and leans completely into me, resting his forehead against my shoulder. It's a little awkward, as he's bent almost in half to reach me, but it's otherwise okay. I hesitate a moment before patting his shoulder. I don't really know what else to do.

"I bring people together, Charlie," he says softly. "I just wanted to bring people together."

I lean my cheek against his hair, slowly relaxing. The more he talks to me, the more normal his voice is starting to sound. "What do you mean?"

"I sent Mike and Jess off to the cabin so they could be alone. Matt and Emily are off somewhere together right now. I gave Chris a million opportunities to be Ashley's hero so they could finally admit their feelings and what not." He sighs, his breath hitting the side of my neck. I shiver.

"And you and Sam, right?" I ask, my voice wavering. My stomach twists as I think back to everything I witnessed tonight. The exchange that took place when Sam was trying to run a bath. The fact that her clothes were missing and she had to run around the lodge in nothing but a towel. The fact that _I_ was left alone for most of the night, locked up so I couldn't interfere with anything.

Josh stands upright and takes half a step backward, seeming very confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw the towel in the room with the chair and tripod, and I saw the lone sock in the bathroom. You stole her clothes and made her wear just a towel as you chased her around the lodge." My voice is shaking. I'm not angry, but I do feel like I could start crying at any moment. How could I have been so stupid? "And then you kept me locked up in that bedroom almost all night, and for what? So that I couldn't get in your way?"

Wait, no, this is starting to sound like an admission that I like him. That's not what I want. Gotta backtrack. "Not that I would have, anyway. You guys would be cute." It's like swallowing venom.

Josh smirks as he stares down at me, an amused look in his eyes. Is he back to normal? Is he done rambling on like he was doing before? "Charlie," he says, his voice low. "If it was really Sam I wanted, I wouldn't be standing here with you right now."

My heart skips a beat, maybe two or three. Is he saying - no. No, it seems too good to be true. "Then why did you keep me locked up?"

His fingertips briefly brush across my cheek before dropping back to my waist. "I didn't want you to see any of this. Is that wrong?"

"But I did see." Before I can really understand what's happening or even stop it, my eyes start to water and then overflow. Josh, looking very startled, takes another half step away from me. "I'm never going to be able to unsee that. I was _devastated_ , Josh. I'd just lost my - my best friend, and then I was trying to figure out how I was going to explain what happened to your parents, after they'd already lost two kids a year ago. How could you do this? To your friends? To _me_?" My voice rises in volume the longer I go on until I'm almost shouting at him. I can't stay quiet anymore. I can't.

Josh's eyes are wide and he's beginning to look panicked. "I-I'm sorry!"

"Are you?"

"Yes!" He's yelling back at me now. It's all escalating too quickly.

The tears have stopped. Now there's just pain. "Forgive me if I don't believe that!"

"I can't believe you're acting like this right now, Charlie!" He's in my face, nose inches from mine.

I ball my hands into fists to keep myself from grabbing onto the front of his overalls and shaking the life out of him. " _You promised me you'd talk to me if things got this bad again!_ "

" _I promised you I'd talk to you if I wanted to kill myself again!_ "

There's a deafening silence in the room, his words hanging heavily in the air. I have no doubt that Mike and the rest of them heard all of it. I can feel their eyes on the back of my head, watching the exchange take place. We're both breathing hard, both with fists clenched and eyes locked. He's glaring at me. I've really done it now. I've ruined everything.

But I don't care.

"Fuck you." I've said it a million times before, always teasing or playful, never really meaning it. Now I spit the words like they're leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Josh blinks, a look of shock crossing his face, but I'm already turning away, stalking back toward the group. "Charlie?" I ignore him. "Fine! I never liked you anyway, dummy! I just wanted to lead you on, make you think you were what I wanted. But who could ever want you?"

"That's enough, Josh," Mike snaps. He gives me a sympathetic look before going with Chris to restrain Josh, pinning his arms behind his back.

But I don't need his pity. I know what Josh said isn't true. I've known him for almost a year now. I know better. He's saying hurtful things because I made him angry. And, judging by the way he's babbling along at Chris and Mike behind me, he's not in his right mind. I won't take it to heart.

I know better.

oOoOo

 _"I can't believe I volunteered for this."_

 _I never really realized how much I dislike other people until I decided to help out with one of the campus welcoming committees. But here I am, standing at the edge of a group of freshmen, listening to the girls' shrieking and preening and the guys' unimpressive displays of bravado. It's a sort of meet and greet going on right now, the event as a whole designed to check in on the new students after their first few weeks of classes - to see how they're handling their new lives at college and what not._

 _I sigh._ Why am I here again? _This was a stupid idea. I'm not even getting anything out of this. Just another fluffer to put on my resume._

 _"Excuse me? Hey."_

 _I turn, catching sight of the guy standing beside me. He's quite a bit taller than me, with brown eyes and hair and more stubble than real facial hair. I plaster on a smile and speak in my very fake, overly-cheery voice. "Hi! What can I do for you?"_

 _The guy smiles a little in return. "I was just wondering how much longer this is going to last. It's super boring."_

 _I laugh. "Yeah, well, the planning committee wasn't really on the ball this year. This check-up thing sucked ass last year, too, from what I heard." We both laugh for a little while, gazing out into the group of people. Turning back to him, I stick out my hand. "Charlotte Day," I say._

 _His eyebrows rise. "_ You're _Charlie?" He breaks into a grin and gives my hand a firm shake. "Josh was telling me about you a few weeks ago. He said to keep an eye out for you when I got to campus."_

 _The mention of Josh makes my chest ache, but I ignore the feeling and smile instead. "Well, here I am. Which friend are you?"_

 _"Michael Munroe." He winks. "It's really cool to meet you. Josh didn't mention how cute you are."_

 _I roll my eyes good-naturedly. "Wow, I never thought I could_ possibly _meet someone who could out-flirt Joshua Washington. You should be impressed, Michael."_

 _He nudges my shoulder with his, an easy-going smile on his face. "What can I say? Women love me. And you can call me Mike, by the way. Everyone else does." He clears his throat. "So what made you volunteer to do this? You look like you'd rather be anywhere else."_

 _"That'd be because I_ would _rather be anywhere else." I shrug. "I just needed something to do. It's not awful, and volunteering looks good on applications."_

 _Really, though, I've been trying to do everything within my power to keep my mind off Josh. I mean, it's an impossible task to begin with, but keeping busy at least makes it easier to manage. I didn't exactly plan on running into one of Josh's friends, however, which could really put a damper on my efforts to enjoy my time on campus without Josh. Mike seems nice, though, and it wouldn't be too terrible for me to have some real friends here. Everything will turn out alright, I'm sure of it._

 _"Classes going okay?" I ask, breaking the silence we'd been standing in. "Anything difficult?"_

 _Mike shrugs. "Not especially. I'm trying to get the university required courses out of the way first, and none of those are particularly hard. Right now, anyway." He scratches the back of his neck. "I guess it's only been a few weeks."_

 _I nod. "Well, if you need help with anything, or if you have questions about where to go for different things, let me know." I grin. "I'm basically a professional at this point."_

 _"Could I get your number, then?"_

 _He hands me his phone and I quickly add myself to his contacts list, passing my own phone over to him so he can do the same. His phone safely back in his own hands, Mike smiles. "Awesome. Thanks." He glances around, finally waving at what appears to be a group of guys standing in a cluster off to one side. "Well, I'm going to go and see what they're up to over there. I'll see you around, Charlie."_

 _I wave as he walks off. "Alright. Nice meeting you, Mike."_

 _Once he's out of earshot, I sigh and fold my arms across my chest. Well, so far I've met Chris, Sam, and now Mike. I wonder if any of Josh's other friends go here and if I just haven't met them yet. Three down, more to go. Who's next?_


	11. ELEVEN

|| ELEVEN ||

The fireplace is warm against my back. We moved back upstairs after my altercation with Josh. Chris and Mike now have him with his hands bound behind his back and are walking him out to the shed where he faked his death. Mike said something about keeping him there until morning, when we can get down off of this mountain. I had wanted to go with them, but they told me "no".

My heart aches; Josh had wanted this weekend to reconnect with his friends - at least, that's what he'd told me. Now I know he'd really brought all of his friends up here to scare the shit out of them to get revenge over what happened to his sisters last year. I'm still confused as to why he brought me with, considering I wasn't involved in the prank that happened last year and he mostly kept me locked up in a bedroom, but I'm too tired to contemplate it anymore. I'm too tired to do anything. I just want tonight to be over.

"Are you doing okay?"

Ashley's voice makes me lift my head. Is she talking to me? Considering her eyes are looking directly at me, I'm going to assume that's a "yes". I fake a smile. "I'm fine. I should be asking you the same thing, though. What happened to your eye?" The area around her left eye is turning a deep shade of purple-black. I'm pretty sure I know the cause, and I don't really want confirmation, but I _do_ want her to know that I'm acknowledging how Josh's actions have affected everyone, not just myself.

Her fingers lightly graze across her black eye. "Um, I stabbed the psycho - Josh, I guess - with a pair of scissors, and he punched me." She shrugs a little, directing her gaze to the floor. "I deserved it, I guess."

As she speaks, my blood starts to boil. "You didn't deserve it," I say coolly. Both Ashley and Sam look over at me with wide eyes. "Josh deserved it for what he did to you. To _both_ of you."

"I-I'm gonna be honest, Charlie," Sam says, giving me an attempt at a smile. "I didn't expect to hear that from you." When I merely blink at her, she goes on. "I just mean that you're closer to him than any of the rest of us are."

I shrug and turn toward the fireplace, watching the flames lap at the wood, heating my face up. "That doesn't mean I can just excuse what he's done, friends or not." My voice is quiet.

"You'd just be the most likely to defend him."

I stare down at my hands. "How do you defend this?"

We sit in silence for a while after that, the only sounds being the wind howling outside and the crackling of the fireplace. Briefly I wonder how Emily and Matt are doing, and if they got help like Ashley said they were going in search of. It's bound to be some form of governmental authority that shows up. I hope they don't arrest Josh when they get here. I know what he did was wrong, _incredibly_ wrong, but he _is_ sick. It's inexcusable what he did, but he needs professional help, not to get locked up in a cell.

The front door opens a while later, bringing in the whistling sound of wind funneling through a small opening. Footsteps cross the room towards us, but I can't be bothered to lift my head. The fatigue is staring to set in now that all of the excitement is over. You'd think with all of the drug-induced naps I've been subjected to tonight, I'd be at least a little more rested. The pain in my head has returned, a dull throbbing at the back of my skull. At least I can move without feeling dizzy.

"Hey, Charlie?" Chris is standing beside me, looking down at where I sit on the floor. There's snow in his hair, slowly melting the longer he stands beside the fire. He gives me an awkward wave. "Doing okay?" I nod. "Alright, um, just making sure."

I glance around the room. It's just the four of us in here. Mike and Josh are nowhere to be found. "Did you leave them at the shed?" I ask, tilting my head back to look up at Chris.

He nods and goes to sit beside Ashley on the couch; Sam scoots aside to make room, eyeing the pair with a small smile. The way he went about it was insane, but Josh may have actually done something to get his two friends together. "Mike said he was going to stay and keep an eye on Josh until morning," Chris says. "We've got him tired to a pole in the shed. He shouldn't be able to do any more harm from there."

Part of me believes that Josh learned his lesson and wouldn't cause any more harm regardless of whether he's tied up for not. The other part of me is unsure. Josh needs help - mental help. That's the only thing I know to be true about the situation right now.

Chris has his hands clasped together in his lap and is staring at me. Even when I make eye contact with him, he doesn't look away. "What?" I ask. Now his face turns a light shade of pink and he looks down to the floor. "Chris, you look like you just killed the neighbor's cat. What's the matter with you?" Am I being too short with him? I don't feel like I'm in a bad mood; I just really want it to be morning already.

"I hit him," Chris says, his voice quiet. He almost sounds embarrassed. "Josh. I hit him right in the face. I didn't - I didn't mean to, I just kind of did it."

"What for?" Sam asks.

Chris glances at Ashley from the corner of his eye, the blush deepening on his cheeks. "Because he punched Ash, and that's not right." He locks eyes with me now. "I'm sorry."

I shrug. "You don't have to apologize to me, dude. You didn't do anything wrong." He shrugs. "What, did you think I'd be mad?"

He smiles softly. "Maybe a little."

I laugh a little and lean back on my hands, stretching my legs out in front of me. "Punch whoever you want, man. But if it's me, I'm gonna have to fight you."

Everyone laughs, and it's like the tension in the room loosens up a little. I mean, until Chris opens his mouth again. "Mike seemed a little unhinged, didn't he? Like I'm not the only one that noticed that, right?"

"No, I saw it too," Sam says. "I figured it was because of what happened to Jess."

"Was he acting strange at the shed, too?" Ashley asks.

Chris grimaces. "He kept threatening Josh with that gun he brought along." My body stiffens. Chris left Mike alone with Josh, _knowing_ that he was pissed off about the Jessica thing? Like he senses my sudden anger, Chris rushes to continue. "I knocked the gun out of his hand at one point and he said he wasn't actually going to shoot Josh." He shrugs again. "We couldn't exactly get our good-cop-bad-cop routine right. But I don't think Mike will actually hurt Josh. He may be a little angry, but he's smarter than that."

Ashely turns toward me, her big eyes wider than usual. "Do you think Josh actually killed Jessica?" she asks me in a hushed voice.

I guess I hadn't really stopped to think about that before. Mike had mentioned Jess's death so quickly and without hesitation tried to hit Josh with the butt of his gun that it just kind of flew over my head and off my radar. It's hard to think clearly when you're stopping a weapon with your hand.

"Charlie?" I guess I was quiet too long. Sam's chiming in now. "Do you think he did it?"

I shake my head. "He was at either the lodge or the shed the whole time, wasn't he?" Three blank stares. "I don't know how far the guest cabin is from here, but I don't think he would have been able to get form here to there without anyone noticing him. Between being himself, that thing that happened in the shed, and tying up the three of you, I just don't know how he would have had time to go after Jess, too."

That's logically speaking, anyway. The logistics of the situation prove that Josh wouldn't be able to get to the cabin and still pull off his pranks with that much ease. But that's just logic. The _pathos_ , the emotion, tells the same story, just in a different way. Josh would never intentionally hurt someone. None of his little pranks tonight actually hurt anyone. I mean, Ashley said that Chris was made to choose between her and Josh as far as who would get cut in half, but Josh must have known Chris would never choose him over Ashley, regardless of how great of friends they are. Did it make him sad when he realized he was right?

Even later on, when I was just about to expose Josh, I heard gunshots. When I ran into the room, Chris had a gun in his hand. It doesn't take much to put two and two together and figure out Chris had tried to shoot the "psycho". But there wasn't a scratch on Josh, and I know Chris is a pretty decent shot. Sam told me what went on at the shooting range back by the cable car station. The gun shot blanks instead of real bullets. It wouldn't have harmed anyone. _He_ wouldn't have harmed anyone.

Well, he punched Ashley. But she _did_ stab him with a pair of scissors...

"We know him better than this, guys," I say quietly. "He might be a little crazy right now - " Ashely scoffs. "Okay, a lot crazy. But we _know_ him. Josh wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone kill someone."

"Charlie's right," Sam says, sitting up a little straighter. "There's no way Josh did it. Something else must be going on up here. We've just gotta find out what it is."

My brows furrow immediately. Um, no, we don't have to figure out what it is. If something really did get Jessica, and it wasn't just a bear or something, we probably shouldn't go after it. That seems like the complete worst idea any of us could possibly have. I sure as hell don't have a death wish; I'm not looking to die tonight.

A shrill scream splits the air, making all four of us jump. We're on our feet in seconds, rushing toward the front door. There's pounding coming from the other side of it, along with panicked shrieking. "Let me in, let me _in_!"

"It's Em!" Sam says.

Chris takes off at the front of our little group and is therefore the first one to reach the door. "Let her in, quick!" he says, unlocking the door and yanking it open.

Emily was leaning hard against the door, so as soon as it opens, she falls to the floor. "Shut the door!" she screeches, scrambling toward where Ashley and Sam are reaching for her. "Oh my God, _shut the door!_ "

Chris shuts the door just as Sam and Ashely get Emily to her feet. They lead her toward the couch, Chris and I following closely behind. Chris's eyes are wide. "Em, are you alright?"

"I didn't think I'd make it," she rushes out, leaning heavily on Sam.

"You were screaming bloody murder," Chris says. He glances over his shoulder to see if I'm still behind him. I am.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks.

Ashley wraps an arm around Emily. "You look totally wiped."

Emily starts to explain, but everyone is talking over each other and she can't finish her sentence. "There was something - "

"Where's Matt?" That's Ashley.

"Come sit down, sit down." Sam.

Emily tries again. "Something's out there!"

"Did you guys split up?" Ashley is still more concerned about Matt than the fact that something was clearly coming after Emily. I'm starting to get a little annoyed. She has something to say, and no one is listening.

Emily flops onto the couch, Ashley and Sam taking the seats on either side of her. Chris remains standing, and I come to a stop at his shoulder, folding my arms across my chest. Emily still seems like she's in hysterics. "A monster, it's a monster!" she shrieks.

That gets everyone to stop. Sam and Ashley both looked like they were about to say something, but at Emily's words, their mouths just hang open, speechless. I have to admit, I'm a little surprised to hear her say "monster". I was expecting whatever was chasing her to be a bear, or something.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Chris asks, being the first to speak up.

No one is rushing to talk over each other now. Not yet, at least. "I said there's something out there!" Emily is adamant.

Ashley glances at Chris, who gives her a smile, and then looks back to Emily. "Like what?" she asks.

Sam reaches across Emily's lap and pats Ashley's hand. "Ash, relax." Then she turns to Emily. "It was Josh, it was all Josh," she says soothingly.

Personally, I think that sounds ridiculous. How could Josh have been chasing Emily back to the lodge if Chris and Mike have him tied up in the shed? There's no way Mike would let Josh get loose. Clearly something else is going on.

"No, no, no, no, listen to me!" Emily insists, her voice rising.

"We got him tied up, he can't hurt you," Sam says, talking over her. Does Sam not realize how contradictory her claims are? Am I the only one really paying attention?

"No, it was _after me_." Emily has successfully gathered everyone's attention once more. She had mine from the beginning. "A-and it wasn't human," she says quietly. Sam and Ashley's eyes widen.

Chris runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. "Hold on," he says. He clears his throat. "Wait, Em, where's Matt? Is he okay?"

Emily's expression changes instantly from one of terror to one of unbridled fury. She shoves herself off the couch and stalks past Chris and I toward the fire. "I don't want to talk about that fucking sack of shit," she snaps. Now my eyes widen.

"Wow," Chris says quietly, raising his eyebrows at me. I shrug.

Emily whips back toward us, eyes blazing. "He _left_ me! He just fucking abandoned me when I was hanging off that goddamned tower about to _die_."

"What tower?" Sam asks. She is ignored.

"And then I fell into this terrifying freaking mine shaft and he was just _gone_!" Emily's hands are balled into fists.

Chris again tries to get some real answers out of the conversation. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what mine shaft?" he asks. Glad to know I'm not the only one confused about the mines. Why are there mines, and why didn't I know about it before? You'd think Josh would have used some scary ass mine shafts for his prank. Opportunity missed.

Emily ignores Chris's question and keeps going. "There's something else." Her voice drops, and she heads back for the couch, settling between Sam and Ashley once more. Her eyes are downcast. I've never seen her like this. "I found this little like, it was almost like a camp, with these marks on the wall and - and this little broken wooden cross and it - it had..." She trails off for a moment, swallowing hard. It takes a few seconds for her to speak again. "It had Beth's name on it. I think they fell down there. A-and I think Beth died from the fall."

The effect on the rest of them is apparent. "Jesus Christ," Chris says, exhaling slowly. Sam stares down at her feet. Ashley looks like she's close to tears. I never knew Beth and Hannah personally, but I know how much Josh loved them and how affected he was by their disappearances - and deaths, as we know now. What an awful way to die...

"Oh God," Sam says, rubbing her forehead with one of her hands. "Poor Beth."

"Listen," Emily says, drawing everyone's attention once more. "In the tower, there was a radio, and I got through to someone, but that was right when the tower collapsed."

Rapid footsteps come toward us, along with a loud "Em!" Mike rushes into view, grabbing Emily and pulling her into a hug. "You made it."

"Oh God, Mike," she says, leaning into him. Chris looks at me, once again with raised eyebrows. Yeah, I don't know either. Kind of a warm welcome for someone you're not supposed to like very much. Strange, but I don't say anything. It's not my place to.

"Yeah, barely," Chris says, referring to Emily making it to the lodge.

Mike lets go of Emily and steps back, looking toward the only other guy in the room. "What about Matt?" he asks.

"We're trying to figure that out," Ashley chimes in.

"And there was this 'monster' that was chasing her," Chris adds.

Mike shakes his head and grabs Emily by the shoulders, shaking her a little. "She's all messed up, guys. Emily?" He shakes her again. "Hey, Em?"

I'm a little annoyed by how condescendingly he's speaking to her, but before I can voice my indignation, a loud _bang_ sounds from the front door and everyone freezes. There are six pairs of wide eyes in the room. "Whoa," Chris says quietly.

Mike is a little more abrasive. "Who the fuck can that be?" He drops his hands back to his side and inches toward the direction of the front door. Chris follows him.

"Josh?" Ashley offers. My heart skips a beat. _Please._

"Jess?" That comes from Chris.

Mike is quick to shut him down. "It's not Jess." Awkward.

Chris makes a face and looks down at his shoes for a moment. "Sorry, man. But who is it?"

Mike shrugs. "I don't know. We should check it out."

Chris reaches out with one finger and gently pokes Mike's shoulder. I fight a smile. What a goof. _Be serious, Charlie_. "I got your back," Chris says.

Mike smiles briefly. "Good."

oOoOo

 _"Semester's like half over. Gonna pass all your midterms?" I take a sip of my coffee and flip to another page in my statistics textbook. Why do I need statistics to get a degree in political science? I feel like I won't need to know standard deviation as a lawyer. Stupid math gen eds..._

 _"You're grumbling to yourself again," Mike says with a laugh. He reaches across the table and closes my book with one finger. "Why don't you take a break from that? You look like you're about to bust a blood vessel."_

 _I roll my eyes. "I'm not good at math. This is literal hell."_

 _Mike grins and takes a drink from my coffee. He finished his a long time ago. "Take a break, Charlie."_

 _I sigh and set my pen down on my notebook. "Fine. I'm tired of studying anyway." Mike smiles triumphantly. "You didn't answer my question, Mr. Munroe."_

 _Now he shrugs. "Yeah, I think I should be fine to pass all my midterms. I'm still in the introductory classes, y'know? Those aren't especially difficult. At least I don't think so."_

 _"Well, I believe in you, in any case."_

 _He laughs. "Thanks."_

 _The two of us have been meeting up for coffee every once in a while. Mike's a pretty cool guy, and I like listening to the stories he tells about Josh, Chris, and their other friends - mostly Josh, but the other stories are fun, too. They seem like a great group of friends to have. I'm excited to meet the rest of them. Strangely enough, when I'm hanging out with Mike, I miss Josh a little less. Gives me something to fill up my empty time with. When I'm distracted, I'm okay._

 _"Michael? Who's this?" says someone from above me._

 _I lift my head. There's a girl standing beside our table, her black hair pulled up on top of her head. There's a smile on her face, but it seems strained, and it doesn't quite reach her eyes. But she's not looking at me; she's looking at Mike._

 _Mike looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here right now. He shoots me a look before turning to give the girl a strained smile. "Hey, Em. How're you doing?" He's got that fake-nice voice going on - the mom voice. You know what I'm talking about._

 _"Who's this?" the girl repeats. Her already forced smile is faltering._

 _Mike rubs the back of his neck, shooting me another awkward look. "Emily, this is_ Charlie _."_

 _He puts a lot of emphasis on my name, which confuses me. But she seems to understand. She visibly relaxes, the fake grin softening into the faintest hint of a real smile. "Oh,_ this _is Charlie? Okay." She turns toward me, fully looking at me for the first time. She offers a hand. "Hi, I'm Emily. I've heard a lot about you."_

 _Oh, so_ this _is Emily. Josh has told me about her before. "The bitch of the group" were his exact words, I believe. Chris had agreed with him at the time. She doesn't seem too bad, though. Right now, anyway. The look she was giving Mike when she first came over left a little to be desired, but she seems okay now._

 _I shake her hand. "From Josh, I'm assuming?" She smiles a little wider and nods. "Of course. He's told me about you, too. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."_

 _She smiles sweetly and drops my hand before turning her brown eyes to Mike. "Flunked out of your classes yet, Michael?" she asks, with a little more venom than necessary. Clearly there's something going on that I don't know about. "I'm surprised you're even awake right now."_

 _"It's like two in the afternoon, Em," Mike says. "And no, I'm doing pretty well in my classes. I'm assuming you're acing everything?"_

 _"Of course I am," she shoots back. "You could be, too, if you didn't waste your time socializing in this coffee shop. You don't even like coffee."_

 _Mike rolls his eyes. "We can't all be top of the class, Em. I'd rather spend time with my friends than constantly worry about my grades." His eyes harden. "And I_ do _like coffee. I've been drinking it for years, something you'd know if you ever bothered to care about anyone but yourself."_

 _I sit back in my chair and grab my own coffee, taking small sips as I watch the exchange unfolding before me. Josh had mentioned something about Emily and Mike in the same context, but I can't remember what it was. Probably not something positive. Kind of entertaining, though. I've been in worse situations than this._

 _"Your bitchiness is making Charlie uncomfortable," Mike says, dragging me back into the conversation._

 _I lift my hands with a shrug. "Nah, I'm not uncomfortable. Bitch away, man."_

 _The barest hint of a smile flashes on Emily's face before her expression sours again. "Stop trying to make me look bad in front of other people," she snaps, latching her eyes onto Mike's._

 _"You're doing that yourself," he shoots back._

 _Okay, so it's not that hard to figure out their relationship from here. I can't believe it took me this long. "So, let me guess." Both of them stop bickering and look at me with raised eyebrows. I smirk at Mike and indicate toward Emily. "Ex-girlfriend?" He nods slowly, that look resembling a caged animal slowly returning. Emily is scowling and looking like she'd rather reach out and punch him._

 _But I'm laughing. Oh, this is going to be fun._


	12. TWELVE

|| TWELVE ||

As Mike and Chris creep toward the front door, Mike with his gun raised and Chris empty-handed and kind of scared-looking, I make my way over to the couch. Sam, Emily, and Ashley are still squished together on the couch, so I plant myself on the arm on Ashley's side. She jumps when my knee bumps her shoulder, but when she sees it's me, she relaxes. "This is so spooky," she says quietly.

"You believe me, don't you?" Emily asks. She's calmed down quite a bit from when she first got back to the lodge, but there's still an edge to her voice. "There really is a monster out there. I _saw_ it."

I reach a hand behind Ashley and rub Emily's shoulder. "Of course we believe you," I say soothingly. "We'll get this all figured out. Don't worry."

Emily exhales slowly and nods. "Right. Okay," she says, leaning back into the couch cushions. I draw my hand back into my lap and give Sam a smile when she catches my eye. She still seems unsure about the situation, but it's better to be reassuring and keep everyone calm than add fuel to the hysteria fire.

There's the sound of a scuffle coming from the direction of the front door and the four of us tense up immediately. Mike exclaims something that I can't discern, and then footsteps start coming in our direction. "Take it easy, grandpa," Mike says. I can hear him much more clearly now.

"Okay, everybody just calm down," says a stranger. His voice is low and rough. He steps into view seconds later, wielding what I think is a flamethrower. From what I've seen in movies, I think I'm right, but who knows? The guy has a scar across one of his eyes and is missing some of his teeth, which I notice when he speaks again. "Now just move over there. Go on, move! Let me say what I came to say."

Chris and Mike scuttle over to where the rest of us are seated. Chris falls into the armchair adjacent to the couch, and Mike comes to a stop beside me, arms folded across his chest. Emily looks the least surprised out of all of us to see this older man standing in front of us.

"I'm here to tell you what you're up against being back on this mountain," the stranger says. "You should have never returned. I don't know why you did, after what happened last year."

The younger people all look alarmed, except for me. I'm silently disappointed that it wasn't Josh at the door. I can't believe Mike just left him alone, all tied up... I shake my head. There are more pressing matters at the moment. I have to stay focused.

Ashley is the first to speak up. "You mean with Hannah and Beth?"

"Yeah, how could you know without being involved?" Chris asks. I want to cut in and remind him that it was all over the news after it happened, but I keep my mouth shut. Sam is speaking, anyway.

"Or responsible?" she says accusingly.

The stranger rolls his eyes. "You hold onto your horses. I don't take kindly to you kids coming up here to my mountain."

Mike scoffs. " _Your_ mountain? I'm sure the Washingtons would be very surprised to hear that."

The man laughs casually, almost nonchalantly, and shakes his head at Mike. "Well, this mountain don't belong to me, it's true. But it don't belong to the Washingtons." We're all silent. It's like he's trying to build tension. "This mountain belongs to the Wendigo."

Chris looks at each of us in turn, seeming very confused. "Who?"

"What's he talking about?" Sam asks.

Mike seems to be getting more irritated by the minute. "What the hell's a Wendigo?"

I know what a Wendigo is. At least, I think I do. I used to have a friend when I was young whose dad would tell us scary stories whenever our families would get together and have a bonfire. He was really into old Native American folklore and superstitions, and he would tell us about all sorts of monsters. The Wendigo was one of them, though I don't really remember what all he said. I thought it was just scary stories, meant to keep us out of trouble.

And then there was that episode of _Supernatural_ that Josh and I had watched together. There was a Wendigo there, too. But the show is based on folk tales and imaginary monsters. They're not supposed to be real.

"Let's hear him out," Sam says, cutting off my train of thought.

Mike rolls his eyes and sighs. "Not like we have a choice."

"Now I'm only going to tell you this once," the stranger says warningly. "It doesn't matter to me if you believe it or not. I got reasons I want to...get it off my chest."

"See? I told you," Mike bursts in. "He's guilty as shit. Guilty of something!"

I jab him in the side with my elbow at the same time as Sam says, "Shut up, Mike."

The stranger waits for Mike to quiet down before he goes on. "There is a curse that dwells in these mountains. Should any man or woman resort to cannibalism in these woods, the spirit of the Wendigo shall be unleashed." Mike mutters something quietly under his breath and his eyes go out of focus, but the stranger ignores him and continues. "You're going to need to find somewhere safe."

"The basement might be okay..." Sam says, trailing off. No one knows what to make of the situations, it looks like. I know I don't.

"Okay," the stranger says. "Get down there, now. All of you. And wait."

"What? Why?" Sam asks, seemingly alarmed. "For how long?"

Emily's voice is quiet when she speaks. "Until dawn."

Mike shakes his head, apparently coming back into focus again. He sets a hand on my shoulder. "Guys..." We turn toward him, the stranger included. "I ran off and left Josh when I heard screaming."

The gravity of the situation doesn't take long to dawn on me. I whip my head back to look Mike in the eyes so quickly I hear my neck crack. I don't even feel it. "You did _what_?" I knew this. Of course I already knew this. But I didn't know what was going on in these woods before.

"Where did you leave him?" the stranger asks.

"In the shed," Mike says slowly.

The stranger nods once and hums to himself in affirmation. "Your friend will already be dead."

I'm on my feet in seconds, Chris half a breath behind me. "Excuse me?" I snap. "What the hell do you mean?"

"No, he can't be," Chris says, coming to stand beside me. "We were just with him!"

The man shakes his head. "A lot can happen quickly on this mountain."

I make to step forward and get in the stranger's face, but Mike grabs my elbow and holds me in place. "Like hell it does!" I'm close to shrieking. Normally I would be embarrassed about losing my temper like this, but I couldn't give a shit right now. "That's bullshit!"

"No," Chris says. "I'm gonna go get him."

"You can't go out there, Chris," Ashley says from the couch behind us. There's worry in her voice. But she's worried about Chris, not what could have happened to Josh. I can't blame her; I'm feeling the same thing she is, just for someone else. "No, he let _you_ down, Chris. He let all of us down!" I turn toward her with a cold glare; she meets my gaze with hard eyes. Mike squeezes my elbow and moves me back a step.

Chris sets a hand on my back for just a second. He halfway smiles at me before looking back to the redhead. "I don't care," he says. I restrain a smile. "I'm going to get him."

Ashley is having none of this. "No, you can't go!" she pleads. The steeliness of her expression fades quickly; now she's begging at me. "Charlie, tell him he can't go!"

I don't know why she thinks Chris would listen to me. I'm not his mother. I don't control him. Right now, I don't really want to. I lay a hand on his shoulder and he turns toward me, that same determined expression on his face. There's desperation there, too. _Don't ask me to stay,_ those eyes are saying. There's no need for him to worry - about me, anyway.

"Bring him back safe," I say quietly. He smiles and nods. "Do you want me to go with you?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'll be fine. Stay here and keep the peace between everyone else."

The stranger steps up beside us, still holding his flamethrower aloft. "I'll go with you," he says to Chris.

"I don't need your help," the blonde says.

The stranger looks unimpressed. "Going alone is suicide."

Chris frowns, but it doesn't take long for him to make up his mind. "Fine."

Satisfied, the stranger turns away and looks from me to the rest of the group. "The rest of you, get down to the basement. Be safe. Don't go outside again until we're back."

Mike pulls on my elbow again and drags me away from where Chris and the stranger stand, conversing quietly. Moments later, they make their way toward the front door. Ashley pushes herself off the couch and follows, her eyes looking a little red. I feel bad for her; she must be worried sick. But so am I, just for someone else. And my feelings toward the situation are no less significant than hers.

"Charlie, com on," Mike says, tugging at my elbow again. Nodding slowly, I follow along behind him and the others, down the stairs, back to the basement where the first nightmare had been plotted out. Josh could never have planned for this, though. He couldn't have known.

Mike closes the door behind us as we reach the "safe room". It's one of the rooms Josh had been scheming in. I sit on the floor and scoot back against the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Emily and Sam are on the other side of the room, sitting on desks and talking. I tune them out.

"You doing okay?" Mike asks, sitting down beside me. He bumps me with his shoulder. "You know you can tell me if you're not."

I smile faintly. "Yeah, I know." I shrug and lean my temple against his shoulder. "I'm fine. A little stressed, what with everything going on, but I'm okay."

He smiles. "Tired?" I nod, moving around the fabric of his jacket. "When's the last time you slept?"

I give a short laugh. "The last time Josh used that gas mask on me and knocked me out."

Mike makes a face, but he doesn't comment on that bit of information. "Okay, when's the last time you slept of your own free will? And actually slept well?" I shrug again. "Come on, it couldn't have been that long ago."

It wasn't super long ago. I can remember exactly what night it was. But that's not something I want to talk about right now. "Couple hours every few nights. I can't get much more than that. It's like my body doesn't let me." I shrug. "It's not that big of a deal. It's been like this for a while now."

Mike bumps me with his shoulder again, making me sit up straight. "You should really see somebody about that. Have you thought about it?" I shake my head. "Well, you should. I think it'd do some good for you." He smiles a genuine smile at me.

"How are you holding up?" I ask, changing the subject. He's silent. "You can talk to me too, you know."

The smile fades just as quickly as it came. Mike sighs. "I know, I know." He doesn't say anything more for a while, just sits in silence beside me. The only sound in the room is the soft hush of Sam and Emily whispering to each other. I can't believe we're in this mess. This like this don't happen to people. Why us? Why tonight?

"I know he didn't do it," Mike says after a little while. I lift my head and look at him. He's staring straight ahead. "I should have known before. There was no way he could have done it. She got pulled through the window in the door. He couldn't have done that." Mike sighs. "I should have known. I think I did. I just lost my head, and I was looking for someone to blame." Now he looks at me, a small, guilty smile on his face. His brown eyes are sad. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me." I bump his shoulder with mine. "But I understand."

Mike's smile grows a little cheerier, and he says nothing again for a while. After a couple of minutes, he stands. "Ashley's still upstairs waiting," he says. I hadn't even noticed she was still gone. "I'm gonna go wait with her."

I smile up at him. "Be safe. Don't let anything bad in."

He grins. "Well, I'll try my best. See you in a bit."

He closes the door behind him when he leaves. Once he's gone, I pick myself up off the floor and make my way over to Emily and Sam. Emily is shaking a little, but otherwise seems like she's okay. Sam, ever the one with nerves of steel, seems unfazed by everything. "Hey," I say awkwardly, giving a short wave. "How's it going over here?"

"Where did Mike go?" Emily asks, looking toward where the two of us had been sitting before. "He was just here."

I flash a small smile. "Ashley is still upstairs waiting for Chris and that other guy to get back with Josh. Mike said he was going to wait with her - to make sure no 'Wendigos' or whatever get in, I guess."

Sam nods, but Emily looks angry. "What, so he just left us down here by ourselves, totally defenseless in case anything _does_ get in?"

I set a hand on her shoulder; Sam does the same. "We don't need Mike to protect us," I say, rolling my eyes. "We're strong enough on our own."

Emily rolls her eyes right back at me. "Yeah, but Mike has a gun. All we have is, like, chairs."

Well, she got me there. "It'll be fine," I say after a brief pause. I pat her shoulder before dropping my hand back to my side. "Mike, Ashley, and Chris will be back with Josh soon, and then we can figure out what to do from there."

"If Josh is still alive, anyway," Emily mutters, turning away from Sam and I to stand on the other side of the room.

I can feel my face start to get warm and I turn away as well, folding my arms across my chest. Sam makes a distressed noise, and I briefly feel her fingers brush my shoulder before her footsteps head over to Emily. _She's just being her normal, pessimistic self,_ I think, trying to convince myself of the fact. _Josh is still alive. Chris and the flamethrower dude will be back with him soon._

But I can't shake the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, the sense that tonight is very far from over. There's so much left unsolved about what's gone on so far. Where's Matt, for example? And did Jess actually die, or did Mike just jump to conclusions? I won't believe anything until I'm shown bodies. That's the only way to know for sure.

 _Stop thinking about this. Don't let Emily get to you._

"Hey, Charlie?" I turn toward Sam, who is still standing beside Emily. "I was just thinking about something you and Josh had said earlier - when we had just found out it was a prank, and you were arguing?" I know what she's referring to. This isn't a conversation I want to have. "Charlie, did Josh try to - "

Sam is interrupted by the sound of thundering footsteps rushing down the stairs and toward this room. I grab the back of the chair beside me instinctively. There's really nothing else in here to hit someone with.

But Chris and Ashley burst into the room, breathing heavily, and Mike darts in behind them, quickly shutting the door. I let go of the chair as my breath catches in my throat. Where's Josh?

"Oh my God!" Emily says. Her and Sam are both looking relieved. "Guys, thank God!"

"What took you so long?" Sam asks.

Chris is looking paler than usual. "It's not so good up there right now," he says quietly. He goes to sit on a desk in one corner of the room and sets his hands in his lap, staring down at his fingers.

Mike smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Understatement of the night," he says, coming to stand beside me.

"Chris, where's the flamethrower guy?" Sam asks. Is that really what's important right now?

Chris swallows hard. "Uh, yeah..." He trails off and clears his throat, still looking at his hands. "He, uh..."

"He didn't make it?" Ashley fills in the blanks easily. Chris shakes his head slowly.

Emily is back to panicking. "Oh, _no_."

"What happened?" That's Sam again.

Chris is starting to look a little sick. Ashley sets a hand on his shoulder, but it doesn't seem to do very much. "The thing, it - " He shakes his head again. "It tore him apart. Right in front of me."

Now Sam's face pales. "Oh, God."

Everyone is in some form of hysteria, but here I am, numbly gazing out at the group like none of this is bothering me at all. Yes, the stranger is dead, and we don't have him here to light things on fire for us. But we hardly knew him to start with. It's terrible, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Why are they so concerned with him? Why don't they see that someone else is missing, too? Why aren't they worried?

I stare at Chris until he looks up and catches my eye. I don't even have to say anything. The paleness of his face and the way he's been avoiding looking at me until now says everything on its own. The slight shake of his head is just the nail in the coffin.

My mouth falls open but I don't make any noise. I wrap my arms around my torso, blinking in disbelief at the ground. I don't look at anyone. I can't. The stinging behind my eyes is sign enough that I shouldn't be around any of them. I just want to be alone. But that's the worst thing I could do tonight.

 _You already thought he died once tonight. Why are you acting like this now?_

Because this time it's real. It's not just a prank.

"These all the doors?" Mike asks. I hadn't even noticed he'd moved away from me. He's checking the doors to make sure they're locked, I'm guessing. I don't know. "Are you sure?" he asks once Sam assures him that yes, that's all the doors.

"What are you looking for?" she asks.

Mike doesn't stand still for a moment. "Another way out."

Sam's like the voice of reason we all need in our life. She's that friend. God bless Sam. "Mike, I really don't think that's a good idea," she insists. "We should stay put, right here, until dawn. At least we're safe down here."

"Oh yeah?" Mike counters, whirling around to face her. "All wrapped up like a little present with a bow on top for that thing to tear us apart on Christmas morning?"

Sometimes I don't understand what he says, but I get the gist this time. I think.

"People will come for us," Sam says. "In the morning." Her voice wavers.

Mike flicks one eyebrow at her. "You don't sound so sure."

Sam turns toward Emily, who is looking startled by everything taking place. "That's what'll happen. Right, Em?"

Emily nods slowly after a moment's hesitation. "Yeah, I mean...right?" Great.

Mike scoffs and continues looking for another way out. "Well, you can wait. I'm leaving."

Emily finally seems to find her voice. Thank goodness. She had us so worried. "Mike, there's no key for the cable car."

"Josh!" Mike says. I lift my head fully and fix my eyes on Mike. "He's gotta have it."

Sam is confused. I am also confused. "Josh?" Sam asks. Josh is dead. There's no way to get the key from him, unless you're taking it from his corpse. We don't even know where it is. At least, I don't think so.

"One of his dirty little tricks," Mike says. I glare.

"Great." Sam throws her hands up. Her calm demeanor seems to be waning a little. "Great!"

Mike looks at me now, almost sympathetically. "If that fucking thing got a hold of Josh, then we're shit outta luck."

Um, yes, "that fucking thing" got hold of Josh. Chris pretty much confirmed that for me.

Or so I thought. "I don't know, Mike," Emily says slowly. "It's possible."

Now I turn toward Emily, as does everyone else in the room. "What's possible?" Sam asks.

"It may have taken him down to the mine."

Mike's brows furrow. "What?"

Emily turns away and starts rooting through a duffel bag on the floor. "I saw some horrible stuff down there. I think it's where that thing lives, and...huh."

We all pause, waiting for her to go on, but she doesn't; she only digs through the duffel bag. Where did that even come from? "...Em?" Sam finally says. "What?"

"Fuck it," Mike says, ignoring the fact that I'm really the only one paying attention to him now. Everyone else is focused on what Emily is doing. "I'm gonna get that key. Right from that thing's goddamned bedroom, and then I'm gonna get us all the hell out of here." I don't know if he actually will, but if he leaves, I'm going, too. Proof. I need proof that Josh is gone.

I walk over to where Sam has now joined Emily. "Em, what is all that?" Sam peers over Emily's shoulder, trying to see what she's looking at.

Emily grabs the bag and sets it on the table, pulling things out of it. "It's that old guy's bag," she says.

"Is that a map?" I jump; I hadn't realized Mike was standing right behind me. He gently nudges me out of the way so he can get a closer look at the map in question. I politely move to the side and lean against the wall, observing their conversation rather than joining in myself.

Sam shakes her head in disbelief. "The guy was prepared for anything."

Mike does that thing where he smiles humorlessly again. "Not quite."

Emily points to somewhere on the map, but I can't see around Mike to tell where it is. "What is this place?" she asks.

"Oh, my God," Mike says, shaking his head. He scratches the back of his neck.

Sam jumps in, seeming confused again. "Wait, wait, wait, what is that?" I'm kind of curious as to what they're talking about, but not enough to get me to move over there.

"I was down there," Mike says. "It was horrible."

Sam's face is the only one I can see clearly. She looks shocked. "You were?"

"I found these plans - they knew the mine was a death trap, but they let the miners keep working anyway. And, I'm not sure what it means, but I found this chair with dried blood all over the place, like somebody'd been tortured."

Emily cuts in, and I have to stifle a laugh. "Michael, I'd like to maybe focus on how we're going to get the fuck out of here, please?" Ah, there she is. I was so worried.

I can practically hear Mike roll his eyes at his ex-girlfriend. "I'm just saying it's weird how much crazy shit's gone on up here."

"What's weird is that there's a tunnel leading from the lodge to the Sanatorium, see?" Emily says, pointing at some other place on the map.

Mike nods. "That's how I got back here."

Emily points somewhere else. From my angle, I can't see anything other than it's a piece of paper they're all looking at. "I saw this," she says. "When I was down there. That's where it lives."

Ashley crept up while Emily was talking, and now she grabs onto Em's shoulder. "Em...," she says, horror slowly seeping into her voice. "Em, what is that?" Emily turns around, her hand instantly going to her shoulder. "What is that?" Ashley is almost shrieking at this point. I step closer, trying to see what's going on, but Mike blocks my way again.

"Ash - "

Ashley cuts Emily off with her rapid-fire panicking. "Em, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Oh no, oh no, oh no!"

"It's nothing, it just - it bit me, and - "

"It _bit_ you?" Ashley is definitely screeching at this point. "What _bit_ you?"

Emily's voice grows a lot quieter, and a lot more unsure. I've never heard her like this before. Her voice shakes. "The uh... The Wendigo."

Sam, Mike, and Ashley immediately step back, putting some distance between themselves and Emily. I take that opportunity to step forward and set a hand on Emily's shoulder. I can see it now; the point where her neck meets her shoulder is bleeding, and there are bite marks indented in her skin.

"The what?" Mike snaps.

Emily's brown eyes are wide and panicked. "It's nothing, really." She turns to me, desperation on her face. "It's not a big deal."

After me, Sam is the closest to Emily. At least she's showing some sort of concern for someone other than herself right now. "You okay?" she asks.

Mike looks frustrated. "Shit," he groans.

"It doesn't hurt anymore." Emily is almost to the point of begging; I can hear it in her voice. "Really. It's not that bad."

"Em, if that thing bit you..." I don't like the dark look creeping onto Mike's face. It's the same look he was wearing before hitting Josh with the gun - or attempting to, anyway.

Emily backs away from me, backs away from everyone. "I-I know what you're thinking, and I'm fine."

"Are you?" Mike's voice is cold.

"Yes!"

Sam tries to step toward Emily, but Emily skirts away. "Emily, at least let us check it out," the blonde says soothingly.

Mike has taken on a defensive stance, his fists clenched at his sides. That look on his face continues to grow darker. "Emily, if the Wendigo bit you, you could turn into one of those things."

"Oh, that's ridiculous," Sam says, snapping at him. I was about to say the same thing. Honestly, this is turning into mob hysteria. Everyone is jumping to conclusions too quickly; no one is taking time to listen, to think _rationally_ about all of this.

Ashley is pacing, never turning her back toward Emily. "He said it was from _eating_ each other - remember, he said that!"

Sam looks startled. "Wait, is that how it worked?"

"Yes!" Ashley pulls at her hair through her beanie, her doe eyes even wider than usual. "It happens if it bit you, you're gonna turn into one and then you're gonna turn on _us_ oh my God, oh my God, _oh my God!_ "

It'd be really nice if she'd stop freaking out. My ears are starting to hurt; the pounding in my head returns not long after.

Mike steps toward Emily, his tone icy. "You can't be down here with us."

"What?" Emily's voice is nothing more than a gasp.

"Mike!" Sam snaps.

Mike shakes his head. "You gotta go." His eyes are locked onto Emily, in an almost predatory way. It's a bit scary, seeing him like this. It's not the Mike I know.

"Are you kidding me?" Emily backs up again.

"You're putting us all in danger."

"Like hell I am!"

He looks like he's close to snapping. I take half a step closer to Emily, still keeping my eyes on Mike. "Emily, her can't stay here," he says.

Sam moves a little more into Mike's line of sight, trying to direct his attention away from Emily for a moment. I can't be the only one thinking his behavior is unnerving. "Mike, just cool your head, okay?" Sam says calmly. "We don't know if it works like that. Maybe it's just a bite."

"I've seen what these fuckers can do." Everyone in the room jumps. Chris hasn't spoken up in the longest time; I'd almost forgotten he was here at all. His voice is low and ominous. "I don't want to see it again."

"What is this?" Emily looks terrified at this point, and it shows in her voice. "Guys? What are you doing?"

Mike motions behind him, still never breaking eye contact. "Door's right here. I am letting you do this voluntarily."

The fear dissipates for a brief moment and is replaced by anger. Emily's eyes are blazing. "Oh, no, you're just making yourself feel better about sending me to my death since you know there's a Wendigo out there ready to rip me to pieces like it did with - "

"Okay, oh my God! Will you just go? _Go! Get out of here!_ " Ashley nearly screams.

Mike whips around, grabs a gun off of one of the desks - since when was it sitting there? - and points it at Emily, both arms held out stick straight in front of him. Sam leaps out of the way, but still tries to pacify the situation. "Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mike! Calm down!"

Emily has walked so far backward that she's against one of the desks now, which she promptly climbs onto, in order to get away from Mike and the gun. "You're going to shoot me?" She lays a hand on her chest; there's genuine hurt and fear on her face. "Mike, _me_?"

"This is the _safe room_ , Em!" he shouts, still holding out the gun. "It's not safe as long as you're in it. Not for us."

Back against the wall, knees to her chest, Emily tries again. "No, don't do this!"

For a moment, Mike almost looks regretful. "I'm really sorry," he says. His finger hovers over the trigger. The fire has returned to his eyes.

I don't know that he'll shoot. I also don't know that he won't, but why risk it? He's not in the right state of mind right now, everyone is hysterical, and no one is making any sort of sense in their reasoning. Obviously, she's not going to turn into a Wendigo. The flamethrower guy never said bites were bad.

I place myself in front of Emily, close enough that I can feel her knees against my back. "Put the gun down, Mike," I say in a low voice.

His brown eyes widen, as do everyone else's. "Charlie - "

"Put the gun down, goddammit," I snap. "You're being ridiculous."

Mike is still holding the gun aloft, and since I'm standing in front of Emily, it's pointed at my face. But he won't shoot me. I _do_ know him better than that. "But she could - "

"No, she couldn't," I say, cutting him off. "She didn't eat anyone. Right?" I glance over my shoulder; Emily frantically nods her head. "Exactly. The flamethrower guy said you have to eat another person in order to become a Wendigo. She just got bit by it. It's not the same thing. Now put that fucking gun down and stop acting like an idiot." I roll my eyes. "Honestly, am I the only rational one here?"

For a minute, I think I'm actually getting through to him. He lowers his arm for a second, but immediately lifts the gun again. The steel has returned to his gaze. "Get out of the way, Charlie," he says coolly. "I mean it."

"You're not shooting her."

" _Move._ "

"No."

Our gazes are locked, Mike's angry, mine mildly irritated. Why are we even still debating this? Clearly, I'm right. But still Mike stares me down. For a moment, I wonder if he's actually going to shoot me just to get through to Emily, but then he exhales loudly and throws his hands up in the air, groaning in frustration. "Fuck, I can't do this."

"Obviously." I roll my eyes again. "Now go put that gun down."

He sets it aside, and I hear Emily let out a loud breath behind me. "Oh, my God," she says. Her arms wrap around my shoulders as she hugs me tightly. I pat her hand comfortingly. "Thank you." I just smile.

Sam gives Mike a small smile. "You did the right thing," she says reassuringly.

"I hope you did," Ashley says darkly. She's glowering at me. Did she really want one of her friends to get shot, though? She was acting so crazy.

Mike sighs. "Maybe, for now." He runs his hand through his hair. "Shit. Fuck, _fuck_." Whipping back around, he points at Sam and then the others. "Keep an eye on her. If you see anything weird, you guys know what to do."

"Yeah," Ashley says, agreeing. Jesus.

"No one leave. Okay?" Mike starts to head for a side door. "It's not safe out there. I'll be back soon."

I pull away from Emily and catch up with Mike quickly, grabbing onto his elbow. "I'm coming with you."

He scoffs. "What? No, you're not."

"You're going to get the key. From Josh, right?" He nods. "Exactly. I'm coming with you." I shove past him, walking out the door he's already halfway through. "Now, come on. We don't have all night."

I hear him sigh from behind me. "Fine. _We'll_ be back soon."

oOoOo

 _It's late at night on a Friday when Josh calls me. I almost want to ignore it, considering he hasn't been responding to any of my calls or texts over the last few weeks. But I can't ignore him. Of course I can't._

 _That doesn't mean I can't be a little snarky, however. "Is there a reason you're waking me up?" I snap. Rebecca glances over at me from her desk, looking very alarmed and confused. She hears the lie immediately; obviously I wasn't sleeping. I had just been reading._

 _"Charlie," Josh says in a low voice. "I'm not an idiot. You and I both know you weren't sleeping."_

 _I sigh and lean back against my pillows, setting my book aside. "Fine. I wasn't sleeping. What do you want?"_

 _He laughs on the other end, and I all of a sudden find it very hard to remain irritated. "Why so hostile, Charlie?" he asks cheekily._

 _"You know why." I try to stay annoyed, but my voice is losing heat rapidly._

 _He laughs again. "I do. But let me make it up to you." He pauses, like he's waiting for me to say something. I don't. "Come see me."_

 _I'm stunned. "What?"_

 _"Come see me."_

 _Rebecca has left her desk and crept her way toward my bed, which she now perches on the end of, eyes wide with interest. "Who is it?" she whispers._

 _I hold a finger to my lips. "When?" I ask into the receiver._

 _"Tonight," he says. "Like, right now."_

 _I don't even know what to say. "Josh - "_

 _"So that's a yes? Great. I'll see you in a bit."_

 _"Josh!" He's already hung up. Sighing in frustration, I drop my phone onto the mattress and put my face in my hands. "Fuck!"_

 _Rebecca scoots closer and sets a hand on my shoulder. "Okay, so, I'm assuming that was Josh," she says. I groan; she stifles a laugh. "I thought so. What did he say?"_

 _I remove my hands from in front of my face and run my fingers through my hair instead, subconsciously trying to make myself presentable. "He wants me to go over and see him. Tonight. Now." I sigh again._

 _"Why are you sitting here sighing? Get up! You have to go see your boy." Rebecca is on her feet in seconds, grabbing at my hands to pull me off the bed. "Come on!"_

 _I shake my head but can't fight a smile as I let her drag me out of bed. "You're too excited about this," I tell her, tucking my phone into my pocket. "Seriously. I don't know if I should even go, anyway. He's been ignoring me for weeks. It'd serve him right if I just left him hanging and stayed here."_

 _"Don't be petty," Rebecca says, giving me a stern look. "Now get going; he's waiting for_ you _."_

 _I roll my eyes, but the smile never leaves my face. Putting my hands up in surrender, I grab my at keys and head for the door. "Fine, fine. I'm going. I'll see you..." I trail off. I don't actually know how long he wants me for. I'm not bringing spare clothes with me, so I guess I'll figure it out when I'm there. "At some point?"_

 _Rebecca shrugs. "Good enough. Go have fun."_

 _I don't really register how long it takes for me to drive over to the Washingtons' mansion. It feels like years, but then there are the gates. They're closed. Is anyone even awake to let me in? Maybe Josh already fell asleep._ This was a bad idea.

 _Just as I'm about to leave, the gates open up, just enough to give my car space to get through. Lips pressed into a thin line, I creep slowly forward and park in my usual spot off to the side. I've only just locked my car when someone rushes up and grabs me from behind. I would have screamed, but the embrace is too familiar: one arm around my waist, one across my chest, head on my shoulder -_

 _"Josh," I say, exhaling slowly. How could I have ever thought this would be a bad idea?_

 _He nuzzles in closer, squeezing me gently. My heart is beating at an uncomfortable tempo. "I missed you," he breathes against the side of my neck, making my stomach flip and the hairs raise on my arms._

 _"Whose f-fault is that?" My voice shakes. Do I sound nervous? God, I must._

 _Josh lets me go. "Mine, I know." He grabs my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. "And I'm really sorry about that. I'll explain all of it to you, I just - " He swallows hard and looks at me with the most genuine expression I've ever seen on him. "I just need some time." His voice is soft._

 _"Of course," I say automatically. I had wanted so badly to be annoyed with him, but how could I? Clearly something else is going on here. "Whatever you need."_

 _His smile is small, but at least it's there. "Right now, all I need is you." He squeezes my hand and leads me toward the front door. Thank God it's dark outside so he can't see the blush on my face. "Come on, let's get you inside."_

 _It's warm inside the house, which I welcome; it's starting to get chillier at night. Josh puts a finger to his lips. "Let's not wake my parents up, yeah?" he says quietly._

 _I smirk. "Don't want them to catch you sneaking a girl into the house?"_

 _He gives a soft laugh. "Nah, they love you. But considering it's one in the morning, they'd probably be pretty annoyed if we woke them up." Makes sense._

 _It's been a couple of months since I was in his room, but it hasn't changed at all. Josh drops my hand and crosses over to his closet. As he rummages around inside, I sit on the edge of his bed. He unzips his sweatshirt and hangs it up before shutting the door to his closet, and I have to admit that I'm shocked to find him in nothing but a pair of sweats._

 _"You - you weren't wearing a shirt under your jacket?" I ask, hating the way I stuttered then. I'm flustered, I'll admit it. It's hard to catch my breath, but I'm doing my best to hide it._

 _He looks down at himself in partial surprise, like he'd forgotten he was standing half naked in front of me. "Oh, yeah. Well, I was trying to sleep earlier, and this is what I was wearing. I put on the jacket just to grab you from outside." Now he looks at me, a slight tilt to his head. There's the faintest trace of a smirk on his face. "Would you rather I put a shirt on?"_

 _I look away quickly and shrug. "If that's how you sleep, who am I to tell you otherwise?" It takes an excruciating amount of energy to keep my voice even._

 _The mattress shifts; he's climbed onto the bed with me. He exhales slowly. When I chance a glance over at him, there's a smile on his face. I don't succeed very much at keeping my eyes off his torso._ Fuck, he's like a god. _My face is warm. "God," he says cheerily. "I forgot how nice this bed feels. This is the first weekend I've been home in a while."_

 _I raise an eyebrow, momentarily forgetting that he's shirtless beside me. "Um, why?"_

 _Josh jumps, sitting up a little. He's wearing that expression of someone who has said too much. He clears his throat and settles back again. "It doesn't matter. Come here."_

 _He holds his arms out for me and wiggles his fingers, like that's the way to summon me to him. I scoot an inch or so closer and lay back, leaving at least half a foot of space between us._ Stop acting so stupid, _I scold myself._ You saw him shirtless at the beach. _But he was swimming, it was_ normal _then -_

 _"Are you okay?" Josh asks, cutting into my train of thought. He had moved closer during my reverie._

 _"I'm fine."_

 _He comes even closer now and throws an arm across me, pulling me into him. He rests his head on my chest and breathes slowly, closing his eyes. I tense up for a moment -_ Josh Washington is half naked and practically on top of me oh my God - _but relax a little while later. Josh has laid on me like this dozens of times before. This is normal for us. This is normal._

 _I run my fingertips across his shoulders, down his spine, and back up again, marveling at the smooth feeling of his tan skin. I lean my cheek against his hair and close my eyes as well. This is normal. The rapid beating of my heart is normal. Shit, he must hear it._

 _"I missed you," Josh says after a while._

 _I smile. "So you've said." I can feel the smile spread across his lips. "I missed you, too." He smile widens into a grin._

 _Josh cuddles even closer into me now, throwing one of his legs over mine. His grip on me tightens. Minutes pass, but his hold doesn't loosen. "Josh?" He hums. "Are you alright?"_

 _"I'm happy, Charlie." He lifts his head to look at me. There's a small, shy smile on his lips. "Just let me be happy."_

 _It takes me a moment to respond. He's never answered like that before. Not so positively; not about himself. "Okay."_

 _He settles back in, head on my chest once more. His eyes close. "Try to sleep, Charlie," he says. I make a noise of protest, which he promptly cuts off. "Just try. For me, okay?"_

 _"Okay."_

 _I lean my head against his again and wiggle a bit to get comfortable. Josh lifts his arm just long enough for me to move before he tugs me back against him again. "Close your eyes," he says._

 _"This isn't going to work," I say lamely. Already I'm starting to feel drowsy._

 _"That's okay," he says. "Just try." He presses his lips against my collarbone; I shiver. My eyes close. "You need sleep. I need sleep. We need this."_

 _I know I need sleep. I've needed it for a very long time, but I've managed to make do without a whole lot of it. Maybe I don't really need sleep. But God only knows how much I need_ him _._

 _I don't know what time it is when I finally drift off. Josh fell asleep long before me, still holding me close. But I do fall asleep. I do. And it's the best sleep I've gotten in a very, very long time._


	13. THIRTEEN

|| THIRTEEN ||

Mike doesn't seem very pleased that I'm tagging along with him, but honestly, I don't give a flying fuck what he thinks. I saw the way he almost shot Emily, one of his friends - who knows what sort of shit he could get up to here? No, it's better that I'm here with him, able to keep him in line. Or so I tell myself, anyway. Of course, that's not really why I'm here. I have to get Josh. And if he's not still alive... Well, at least I'd know for sure.

I've been in a state of nausea since Chris first returned from failing to find Josh. The sick feeling doesn't worsen until I step foot into the tunnel with Mike, however. The musty smell combined with the imminent doom really makes your stomach churn.

We approach a set of metal doors at the end of the tunnel. Mike grabs the handle to one of them, then pauses. "Are you sure you want to di this?" he asks me. We haven't spoken much since leaving the others. It's almost strange to hear his voice, echoing around us down here.

I nod stiffly. "I'm sure. Let's just go."

He yanks the door open, allows me to slip through ahead of him, and then closes the door tightly behind us. There's a lock on the door that he slides over, ensuring that no one can follow after us. I know it's just a precaution meant to keep the others safe, but still; it feels a little spooky.

Mike walks slightly ahead of me down another hall, his flashlight swinging from corner to corner, looking for something out of place. He said he's been through here before; he must know if there's anything out of the ordinary. I'm helpless to follow along behind him, empty-handed, hoping something won't come up behind me and grab me.

The surrounding area isn't all that remarkable. There's some broken glass, overturned and dusty furniture, and a lot of dirt to go with the gray color scheme. The roof is leaking in some parts. It's eerie; it's quiet. I find myself jumping at the sound of my own footsteps from time to time, if the toe of my boot accidentally knocks something out of the way. Mike glances at me every now and again, like he's making sure I'm still with him. Where else would I have gone? I'm in this till the end.

"I can't believe you're here," Mike says as we walk up a large set of stairs. "I mean, really."

I scoff. "Of course I'm here," I grumble, trudging ahead of him. My cheeks are flushed, my fists clenched at my sides. How could I not be? In the choice between staying with the group and finding Josh, my decision is obvious. But Mike doesn't know that.

"You're going the wrong way," he calls. Embarrassed, I backtrack quickly. Mike is smiling gently. "How about you let me lead, okay? I know where I'm going." He pauses. "Well, for most of it, anyway."

I nod and fall into step beside him. "Fine. Let's just find Josh quick, okay? I don't like it in here." Mike laughs softly. "What?"

He turns his head toward me, that smile still on his face. "You really like him, don't you?"

I stop walking, my eyes widening. "Um, what?"

"Josh." Mike stops walking as well.

I scoff again, though it sounds less convincing this time. "Sure. He's a cool guy." God, that sounds so fake.

"That's not what I meant."

Rolling my eyes, I start moving again. Mike does the same after a moment, easily overtaking me and placing his body slightly in front of mine. "I think it's sweet, you know," he says after a little while. "I mean, clearly he likes you a whole lot, too."

I don't get what he means by that, as none of Josh's behavior toward me has ever seemed even _remotely_ clear, but I ignore that statement and opt for the realistic approach. "It doesn't matter, anyway. Josh is dead." I don't like how calm my voice sounded when I said that. I haven't come to terms with it already, have I? What the hell?

"Do you really believe that?" Mike asks, picking his way over a fallen beam. He offers his hand to help me up and over it as well.

I pause, trying to think. Chris seemed so sure that Josh is dead, but Emily had said that he could have been taken down to the mines. Who do I believe? I know who I _want_ to believe, but should I? "I don't know," I say finally, shaking my head. "I don't want to, obviously. I just - " My voice cracks, and I hate how weak it makes me sound. "I just don't know what I'll do if it's true." I look up toward the cracked ceiling, trying to keep the tears back in my head. They can't fall if you use gravity to your advantage.

Mike slings an arm around my shoulder. "It'll be alright," he says, though he doesn't sound sure in the slightest. "Whatever happens tonight, it'll be okay." If I choose to believe anything, I'll believe that.

"Holy shit," Mike says as we enter a large, cavernous room. He stops so suddenly that I bump into his back. I peer around his shoulder, trying to see what he's seeing, but nothing catches my eye. Nothing unusual, anyway. "What happened to the wolves?"

" _Wolves?_ " I grab his arm. "First there's Wendigos, now there's wolves?"

Mike grins, but it seems a little forced. "No, no, it's okay. The wolves aren't anything to worry about." His voice quiets to muttering. "Especially considering they're not here," he says, probably just to himself. But I mean, I heard it anyway.

I start to wander, gazing around at the different parts of the room. It looks lived in, or at least occupied. There's a box of cigars on an end table toward the center of the room, and a large chest holding what looks to be bones. For the wolves? Did someone adopt a bunch of wolves? "Was all of this stuff from the flamethrower guy?" I ask, wincing at how my voice echoes. It sounds too loud. I don't want to draw any attention to us being here.

Mike, from over by a set of stairs, shrugs. "I think so, yeah. I didn't really get a good look at him while I was here, but I'm pretty sure. Who else would it be?"

"I don't even want to think about it," I mumble, making my way over to where Mike is. God forbid there's someone else up here with us during this nightmare of a time.

We walk up the stairs in silence, aside from the soft clatter of our shoes on the stone stairs. There's nothing much at the top, but there does seem to be a hole in the ground at the end. "I think that'll drop us into one of those caged rooms," Mike says, motioning toward it. There's several of them down there, all with locked doors. Considering they're barred like jail cells, you can still see inside. I think I know which room Mike is talking about; if I'm correct, we definitely need what's inside.

I crouch down beside the hole and peer into it. There's a desk pushed against a wall with a gun, torch, and box of shells on top of it. Bingo. "This is it," I say, swinging my legs around so they're dangling over the edge.

Mike comes up beside me and sets a hand on my shoulder. "How about you let me go first?" he says, not unkindly. "I can, like, catch you when you come down." When I glare at him, he puts his hands up in surrender. "You're quite a bit shorter than me, Charlie; I'd rather you not break your legs."

Without bothering to respond, I shove myself through the hole. Air whistles in my ear for less than a second before I hit the bottom, sending shocks through my knees. The landing could definitely have gone better, but I didn't break my legs. Legs are still fully functional. I tilt my head back and spot Mike still standing at the edge of the hole; he's frowning at me, seemingly annoyed. "It's really not that far down," I say cheekily. "Get down here already, would you?"

I step out of the way, giving Mike enough room to jump down. He heads for the table immediately, hands roving over the gun lying there. "We should take the torch," I say, peeking around his shoulder.

"What? Why?" he asks, looking down at me. "We have a flashlight."

"Yeah, but Wendigos don't like fire."

Mike furrows his brows at me. "How do you know that?"

I shrug, my face heating up immediately. "Well, there was a Wendigo in an episode of this show I watch, and they used fire to kill it." I clear my throat. "And, anyway, that guy was carrying around a flamethrower. Obviously, they don't like fire."

Mike stares at me for a moment before shrugging and picking up the torch. "Good enough for me," he says, turning the torch over and over in his hands. "Now I just need a pitchfork and a mob." He looks over at me again, a goofy smile on his face.

I roll my eyes and start stuffing shells in my sweatshirt pockets. "Yes, yes, you're very funny. Now grab that gun and let's go."

He grabs a handful of shells and turns away. "Good enough."

That doesn't seem like nearly enough bullets in my opinion. This isn't Hershel's shotgun in _The Walking Dead_. This is real life. We'll run out of ammo if we just stick with his handful. Fortunately, I tagged along; my pockets are sagging from the weight of the rest of the shells. "Can I have the flashlight?" I ask, holding my hand out expectantly.

He shrugs and places it in my waiting palm. "Sure, I guess." Using the lighter he for some reason has, Mike lights the torch. It's close enough to me that I can feel the flame's heat wash over my face. "Coming?"

I nod and follow after him as he opens the door to this small room and heads back out into the main room. "Now where do we go?" I ask, looking around. There's another door across from us, but it's locked; I tried it.

But Mike heads straight for that door, meaning I can't do much other than wander after him. He points the gun toward the lock and glances over his shoulder at me. "Stand back," he says.

I take a step back. "What are you - "

The gunshot is loud, making my ears ring. Surely there was a better way to get this door unlocked than to just shoot it, right? If there's anything in this sanatorium with us, they definitely heard that. There's no way they couldn't have.

Mike kicks the door in - also unnecessary - and leads the way through it, still wielding the gun and torch. A low growl rumbles from behind a few boxes and I freeze, eyes wide. But Mike barrels right in, a smile on his face, even as a white bundle of fur creeps out from behind the boxes. "Hey, big guy!" he says, crouching down.

"Holy shit, that's a wolf," I say breathlessly. Why isn't it biting him? Fuck, I thought Wendigos were the only thing I had to worry about.

Mike turns to grin at me. "No, it's cool, Charlie. He's friendly." He turns back to the wolf and scratches the top of its head. "Happy to see me again, huh? I was hoping I'd run into you again. Charlie, come here."

I walk cautiously forward, never taking my eyes off the wolf. It stares at me as well, but doesn't growl or anything as I approach. In fact, it licks my wrist when I set my hand on the side of its neck. I giggle and pull my hand back. "Okay, that's very cool." I grin at Mike. "Look at you, making friends." I go back to scratching the wolf behind its ears. "Mike can't do much, but Mike can make a friend," I say to it, teasingly glancing at Mike, who sticks his tongue out at me.

"Don't listen to her, Wolfie," he says, shooting me a playful glare. "I'm plenty cool. Right?" The wolf just pants, looking up at Mike with its brown eyes. "Good boy. Alright, pal, you're coming with us."

I almost forgot we're actually on a mission right now. I was too distracted by the wolf. I do feel better knowing that it's coming with us, though. "What's next?" I ask, standing up straight and looking to Mike.

He nods. "Alright. Here's the plan: I happened to see a map of this place, so we're not flying blind. There should be a way through the psychiatric wing that'll take us right outside the mine." He looks from me down to the wolf. "Think we can handle that?" Though the thing makes no noise whatsoever, Mike smiles and says, "Couldn't have said it better myself."

The wolf trots off ahead of us, like it's leading the way. Mike grins and nods. "Atta boy."

"You're really crazy, you know that?" I say, staring at him. Of course, I'm teasing. Kind of.

Mike smirks. "You like the crazy ones, though." He pauses and makes an awkward face. "Too soon?"

I shrug and turn away, starting to follow after the wolf. "No, it's fine."

The wolf heads through an archway leading outside; it looks like there may have been a door there at some point. Chain-link fencing stretching far above Mike's head outlines a path for us to walk down, with no way to deviate from said path. As uneasy as this direction makes me feel, I follow along anyway. Mike moves past me to walk ahead again, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. Let the Wendigo attack him first - unless they come at us from behind. Fuck.

The wind is howling, blowing snow around my ankles. I pick up the pace. I don't like being out here. I don't like being fenced in like this. Would this protect me from a Wendigo, or would it just trap me and lead to my death? Mike sees that I'm walking faster and does the same, falling into step beside me. He sets a hand on my shoulder for a brief moment, but takes it away just as quickly. Nevertheless, it calms me. Just a little.

The wolf reaches the doorway leading back into the sanatorium and begins to growl and bark. When we catch up to him, all I see is another chain-link fence stretching out in front of us. "Jesus Christ," Mike says, coming to a stop beside the wolf. I still don't understand what's going on. Mike ignores me and looks down at the wolf. "Okiedokie, boy, calm down." I would laugh if I wasn't so concerned about what's happening.

Once we step inside the building, I understand. The entire floor is blocked off by iron bars, broken up only by doors here and there. How crazy were the inmates in this sanatorium to need to be locked up in this manner?

The wolf darts on ahead, squeezing through a gap between two of the bars on our left. Mike sighs and walks toward the gap. "Wish I could move like you, Wolfie. I think we're stuck on this side."

There's what looks like a door right beside where the gap is, along with a lever on the steel wall beside it. Mike pulls the lever down, leading the barred door behind us to slide closed with a loud _bang_. The door we want to go through only slides slightly open. Mike sighs. "Awesome." He looks at me, looks at the door, and then looks back to me. "Do you think you can fit through there?"

I walk over and inspect the small space. "I mean, maybe. But how will you get through?"

"I'll figure that out. Get through there first."

I do as he says and turn sideways, squeezing my left leg and hip through the gap first. I keep going, making sure I keep my body straight so as not to hit anything against the metal bars. Once I'm safely on the other side, I smirk at Mike. "You try," I say.

He rolls his eyes and hands me the torch through the gap. He tries to shimmy through the space, but his chest is too broad. Grunting, he sets his palms against the edge of the door and starts to shove it. I join in on my side, gripping the bars tightly and yanking with all my might. The door only budges a slight amount, but it's enough to get Mike through. Thank God. There's no way I can find Josh on my own.

Mike huffs out a laugh. "You see that?" he says, though I'm not sure whether he's addressing me or the wolf. "I do got moves. Don't I, Wolfie?" Well, that answers my question, at least. Questionable grammar aside.

I pass him back the torch and we resume our journey, following a wolf to God-knows-where inside this sanatorium. Does it even know where Mike wants us to be going, or is it just wandering around and we're following it like idiots?

We head down a flight of stairs, Mike's torch creating eerie shadows along the walls of the stone tunnel. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. At the bottom of the stairs we take a right. Mike stops so quickly I bump into him. "What's the matter?" I ask, trying to peer around him. I can hear the wolf growling. "Mike, what is it? What's there?"

"It's the other wolf," he says, sighing. "Hey, don't look. It's pretty gross."

I follow him anyway, even as I see the black wolf hanging off one of a set of cage doors. Its body is split open from its neck all the way down its abdomen, the head hanging off to one side. Its insides are exposed, the rest of them lying on the ground beneath it. "Oh, son of a bitch," Mike says quietly, looking it over now that we're closer to it. He shakes his head and looks over his shoulder at me. "Jesus Christ, what the fuck have we gotten ourselves into?" It's an honest question that I don't have the answer to.

Our guide wolf is more whining than growling now, ears flat against his head. I reach out a hand and scratch the top of his head, eyes still locked on the dismembered wolf in front of me. "It's okay, buddy," I say softly. I mean, it's not okay, but what else am I supposed to do? It's too late to turn around now.

"How are you not freaking out about this?" Mike asks, bumping me with his shoulder. "It looks disgusting, and _smells_ even worse."

I shrug and start to follow after our wolf as he heads off to the right. "I've seen worse," I say, referring to Josh's fake body because cut in half and leaking intestines. The levels of gruesomeness between him and this dead wolf may be equal, but there's always going to be a difference between the death of someone you never knew and the death of someone you cared deeply about.

"Charlie, over here," Mike says, calling me back to reality. I turn back around. He's still standing near the wolf corpse, but he's looking at the steel door hanging open beside it. I hadn't even noticed it before.

I jog over. There are claw marks all over what would have been the inside of the door, were it shut, and bloodstains everywhere. The door itself seems to be dented in several places. "Holy shit," I say in a breathy voice. I run the tips of my fingers along a set of scratches; the lines run deep into the steel.

Mike does the same. "These doors were built like tanks," he says. "How crazy were these inmates?"

I move past him and walk into the room the door would have closed off. Mike follows behind me, waving the torch around so we can see. I could use the flashlight, but why waste batteries when Mike is here? I'll save it for if the torch burns out.

There's nothing but broken furniture in this room, and a whole lot of dust. Along the back wall, however, I spy what looks like writing. "Mike, shine the light over here."

The words are etched into the wall, though I don't know what with. Fingernails? That doesn't seem humanly possible. _Let us out! We are_ _starving_ _! Freezing! I will make you pay. Stop testing us now!_ Row upon row of tally marks are scratched out beneath the message. Is that the number of days they were locked in here?

"What went on here?" Mike's voice makes me jump. "This is nuts." Yeah, I would say so. I was already creeped out, but now that sense of imminent danger starts to sink in. This is not a happy place. Good things did not happen here. Good things _won't_ happen here. We need to find Josh, and we need to get out.

I turn away and head back after the wolf. "Let's just go," I say. "Wolfie's not going to wait forever."

We walk side by side to where the wolf waits at the end of a short hall. Coming out of it, I see that we're on the other side of the room from when we first came in from outside. Mike continues to walk after the wolf, but I'm looking around at our surroundings. It never hurts to be cautious.

There's movement on my right just out of my line of vision, but I see it flicker out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head, gazing out toward the empty space in the middle of this huge circle of a hallway, but I don't see anything. But something was there, I just _know_ it.

"Charlie?"

I jog to catch up with Mike and the wolf, sparing glances over my shoulder toward where I had thought I'd seen movement. If something was there, it's not there now.

We take a left at the end of this section of hall. The brick wall has a gigantic hole in it, like someone came through with explosives and tore open this section. Who would want to do that, though? It just opens into a small room, like one a patient would stay in, but there's nothing in here. A door, the _real_ door, is open on the other side of the room, and Mike heads straight for it. I can't see the wolf anymore; I really hope we're not flying blind here. The wolf hasn't led us astray so far, and I don't know if I trust Mike's sense of direction.

If we take a right outside this room, it leads toward the B Wing, according to a sign overhead, which I'm assuming is the correct way to go. However, Mike takes a left, heading toward the "doctor's office" instead, according to another sign. It looks like a dead end that way. "Uh, Mike?" He turns around. "Why are we going this way?"

He shrugs. "I just want to see."

That sounds like a very, _very_ bad reason for going to investigate something in a spooky-ass sanatorium when you're likely being hunted by Wendigos, but hey - whatever, man. Let's go check out the creepy doctor's office.

There's a small table with a film reel sitting on top of it. Mike switches it on without hesitation, and a black and white film starts playing. "How is this still working?" I ask. The thing looks ancient. Mike just shrugs at me again and keeps watching.

The film shows a patient sitting in a chair, and a nurse tending to them. The patient is twitching, which already doesn't seem like a good sign. When the nurse leaves the room, the patient breaks free from its binds and climbs up the wall - _actually climbs up the wall_. I take a step backward as the nurse comes back into the room and looks around. Slowly, her head turns toward the ceiling. She gives a silent scream before sprinting back out of the room. The patient is briefly shown on the wall again, and then there's a flash of movement and the camera in the film is knocked over, making the video fall sideways. The film fades to static.

"What the fuck is going on around here?" Mike sounds just as panicked as I feel. Clearly this patient was transforming into a Wendigo. But, they climb walls? Since when do they climb walls? I don't remember them climbing walls on TV.

Mike grabs my elbow and leads me back out of the room. My eyes are still fixated on the film, which apparently is playing on a loop. "Come on, the doctor's office is further down the hall," he says. This wasn't the doctor's office? How far out of the way is he dragging me, just so he can be all Scooby Doo and investigate shit? I want to get the fuck out of here.

We take a right through the only other available door in this direction. It doesn't look like there's anything in here, either. Just a desk off to the side and a bunch more broken furniture. There's a wall on the far right with cracks in it, showing light shining through. A door? "Come on, this way," Mike says, already shouldering the damn thing open.

"Mike, I _really_ don't like this," I say as I follow after him. Honestly the only reason I'm still with him right now is because he has a gun to defend us with. If he didn't, I would be following after the wolf and finding Josh.

There's another cage door behind the wooden door. Mike shoots the lock open, once again making my ears ring, and then kicks the door in. Something must have heard the gunshot. Also, why does he keep wasting shells? Like, what if we _need_ those? Is investigating the rotting body sitting in an office chair in the corner _really_ that -

"Holy shit," Mike says, walking over to said body. "Who is this guy?"

I fold my arms across my chest and glare at Mike's back. "I don't know, Mike. But he's dead. And we probably will be too if we don't get the fuck out of here and find Josh."

Mike just shakes his head at me. "Can I read his note first, Your Majesty?" he says sarcastically.

I want to tell him no, but I'm also kind of curious as to what it says. I sigh and walk over, leaning my head against Mike's shoulder. My head is starting to ache again. Stupid Josh, pulling me down the stairs like that. I really should have packed some Advil in my bag. "Only if I get to read it too, Your Highness," I reply, just as sarcastically.

Mike grins at me and swipes the sheet of paper off the dead guy's lap. "Sorry, old dude," he says. He flips the paper over to the back, where there is hastily written cursive. The first few lines are nice and straight, but the writing eventually slopes down toward the bottom of the page, steadily growing messier.

 _They are dying outside. I hear them screaming and crying. This hell is my only legacy. God's punishment for my mistakes. To escaping my fate. Death awaits me now. Jefferson Bragg._

Mike slowly sets the note back on the guy's leg. "Okay..." he says, trailing off. "Yeah, we can definitely get out of here now."

I lead the way back out of the room and into the one with the solitary desk and broken furniture. Mike makes a beeline for the desk and yanks one of the drawers open. I sigh and stop walking, slowly making my way over to Mike. Clearly, we're adventuring at his pace, not mine. "What are you looking for?"

"I don't know," he murmurs, rooting through the drawer. Seconds later, he tosses a manila folder onto the desktop, not unlike the one that had contained Josh's psychiatric evaluation back at the lodge. Mike gives me a triumphant smile and flips open the cover.

It's a confidential file, also not unlike Josh's psych evaluation. Mike turns to the first page, revealing a photo of a young man, probably in his late-twenties, early-thirties, with a scar across his face. This is a patient file. The man's name is Billy Bates, according to the sheet. There are bullet points scribed beneath, but they're written in such tight, neat cursive that I can't make out what they say. Mike turns to the next page. This time, Bate's face is drastically different. His skin has started to shrink against his bones, and his mouth is like a gaping maw with elongated teeth beginning to form. Even his nose looks strange. The last page is an even more haunting photo, with Bate's face incredibly close to the camera, flashing even sharper teeth and sunken in, pasty white eyes.

"Jesus hot sauce Christmas cake," Mike says in a breathy voice. "This is fucking unbelievable."

What's fucking unbelievable is the phrase that just came out of his mouth, but whatever. I eye him weirdly, but he just shrugs. I take that moment to flip the file shut and shove it back into the drawer, back where I can't see it. I don't want to see it. The idea that that man is now a Wendigo hunting us down on this mountain is horrifying, and I don't want to think about it anymore. "Can we go now?" I ask, practically begging Mike at this point. I don't need more information on the transformations. I just need to get off this fucking mountain.

Mike nods and leads the way out of the room and back down the hallway. Wolfie is sitting at the end of it, patiently waiting for us to catch up. How sweet. Light is shining down from outside, just over one section of the floor. As I walk across the patch of light, something rushes across it from above, casting a shadow over me. I glance up just in time to see a long, skeletal-looking leg disappear out of sight. I dart forward, eyes still fixated on where I'd seen the thing go. I'm moving so quickly that I run right into Mike, who stumbles forward before whipping around to look at me. His brown eyes are wide. "What the fuck?

"Th-there was something there. I just saw something - something run across the roof, up there!" I point upward toward where I'd seen it. "It was a Wendigo!"

Mike shushes me quickly. "Okay, well, if it was a Wendigo and not just a trick of the light - " I glare at him. " - then you probably shouldn't go around screaming about it. Right?" I exhale slowly and nod. "Right. Let's just keep going. I've got the gun; we have fire. Everything is going to be okay."

I breathe slowly again. "Okay." I don't understand how he's so calm right now, but I don't mind. Him being calm is kind of making me calm, too. Just a little bit. Someone still needs to be worried; that's the only way we're going to be cautious about this.

We reach a dead end, the only way we can go being the door that's knocked down leading outside, back to the center part where I had seen something move earlier. I don't want to go out there. I definitely do not want to go out there. But that's exactly where Mike and Wolfie go, and I'm helpless to follow along.

As soon as we step outside, a tin can falls off a cinderblock. Mike and I both jump in surprise, and Mike points his gun at the can. I almost laugh, but settle for swatting his arm instead. "Dude, obviously that's nothing bad. Chill."

A second later, a rat crawls out of the can. Mike sighs in frustration. "Fucking rat."

I chuckle. "Come on, let's - "

I'm cut off by the sound of animalistic screeching. On our right, only a foot away from us, crouches the most horrific creature I've ever seen. White eyes, gigantic teeth, limbs that are too long and thin to support any sort of weight - It leaps, long fingers stretched out toward us. I don't even have time to scream before Mike shoots it, launching the monster backward. Then Mike is shoving me forward, screaming at me to run, and I am, I _am_ , but fuck, the thing moves quickly. It's up the side of the wall in seconds. My ears are still ringing from the gunshot, but I know Mike is still yelling. Probably swear words. I know him well enough by now.

We reach a point where we can either continue running straight ahead or dart off to the left. Wolfie heads to the left and Mike and I both follow, Mike slamming the door shut behind us. The gust of air that comes from slamming the door blows out the torch, but I don't have time to worry about that. I help Mike overturn what looks like a locker, barricading the door against the monster. Its face appears in the window in the door, screeching at us again, mouth wide open.

Just before it can climb through the small window, Mike punches it in the face with - something. "Get out!" he shouts. " _Get out!_ " The thing falls backward off the door, and then Mike is grabbing my hand and dragging me along behind him.

I sprint along beside him, looking down at the object hanging from his waist. "Is that a machete?" I yell, doing my best to keep up with his quick pace. "Where did you get a machete?"

"It doesn't matter, just _run_!"

Mike slams another door shut behind us and slides the deadbolt into place. Wolfie is calmly standing before us, and Mike and I both take deep breaths. This door has a small window, too, but this one is completely caged shut. We're safe. For now.

I bend over and brace my palms against my knees, sucking in air like a fish. Fuck, I've done too much running tonight. This is all the exercise I'm going to need for the next year. If I even get off this mountain, that is. "That...that was a Wendigo," I say, still trying to catch my breath. "Fuck."

Mike pats me gently on the back. "Yeah. Yeah, it was," he says. He crouches down in front of Wolfie and rubs the top of his head. "Good dog," he says in a whisper. The wolf starts to whine. "Shh, it's okay. It's fine."

"It is most certainly _not_ fine," I say, just as softly as Mike has been speaking.

He gives me a wan smile and grabs me by the wrist, leading me toward the next doorway. There's the sound of something shuffling around from near the doorway and the both of us freeze. Mike instantly drags me down into a crouching position. "The hell was that?" he whispers. I shrug.

We duck behind a large crate, Mike and his gun just barely peeking around the side of it. I see his face pale; there must be a Wendigo. I can hear it growling. It's _searching_ for us. Mike reaches his hand behind him and lightly swats my arm, like he's making sure I'm still behind him. I am. Fuck yeah, I am.

The sound of glass rubbing against wood rumbles from right above our heads as a bottle rolls across the top of the crate in our direction. I nudge Mike to get his attention, and he easily catches it before it can hit the ground and shatter, thus alerting the Wendigo to where we're hiding.

The Wendigo screeches, and I can just barely see it jump onto another crate. "Don't...fucking..." Mike trails off. I'm assuming _move_ was going to end that sentence, and it just got lost on the way out. I didn't need it, anyway. There's no way in hell I'm going to move.

When Mike starts to creep forward, I do the same, keeping an eye on the Wendigo from over my shoulder. This is unsafe. This is very, very unsafe. Why did I choose to tag along with Mike? I was much safer in the basement at the lodge. _Josh. You're doing this for Josh._ Right, of course.

The Wendigo continues to move in the direction opposite of us, giving us enough leeway to not be totally crouched down. Mike nudges me in front of him and tells me to get through the doorway. Slowly. I have to move slowly, even as much as I want to start sprinting the hell out of here. But that'll attract too much attention, and I can't do that. I have to live. I have to get the fuck out of here.

I can breathe again once I'm safely away from the Wendigo. I press my back against the brick wall and almost sigh at how nice and cool it feels against my back. I'm almost sweating just from all the tension. I only have to wait a few moments for Mike and Wolfie to join me. Wolfie quickly takes the lead again, already jogging off down the hall.

Something screeches from some distance away. "Dammit," Mike says under his breath. He raises the gun higher. "Alright, come on, you son of a bitch. Where are you?"

" _Don't encourage it!_ " I snap, as quietly as I possibly can. The thing is hunting _us_ ; it should _not_ be the other way around.

There's a slew of curse words coming out of Mike's mouth as we continue sneaking down the hall. There are cages all around this way, making me uneasy. And I have plenty of reason to be uneasy, considering as soon as Mike walks past the first cage, a demon-like hand reaches out from behind the bars and swipes at him. I almost shriek, but clap a hand over my mouth before I can. Mike shoots at the Wendigo, launching it backwards into the wall. But it can't come after us; it's all nice and locked up.

All of the cages we walk past have Wendigos in them, and it chills me to my core. _Why the fuck are there so many of them?_ And how did they all get into cages, anyway? Who was brave enough to lure them in? On second thought, it was probably the flamethrower guy. He seemed like he had more know-how about all of this than most people - definitely more than I have now.

Mike continues to shoot the Wendigos, even though they can't reach us. I walk straight down the center of the corridor, out of arm's length. I don't want Mike to keep shooting, as I think it'll draw the attention of the Wendigo that _isn't_ caged up, but at the same time, those creepy fuckers clinging to the bars makes me really nervous. The sooner we get out of here, the better.

"Fuck this," I say under my breath, stomping along behind Mike with my fists clenched. I can't take this. It's too stressful. Life-or-death situations aren't good for my health.

Mike doesn't seem to care as much. "One at a time, boys," he says grandly, spinning in a circle to make eye contact with all of them. "There's enough of me for all of you."

I grab the front of his shirt and drag him along behind me. "Can we just get the fuck out of here, _please_?" I implore, giving him my best angry face under pressure. Why does it seem like he's enjoying this? What kind of a psycho did I never realize Michael Munroe is?

 _It's because of Jess_ , I realize. He's trying to get revenge on the Wendigos for what they did to Jess. He's angry, and it's understandable, but he doesn't need to be reckless like this. He's not the only one risking their life here.

Wolfie is barking from the end of the hall, snarling with his hackles raised at something behind us. I don't even turn around to see what it is. I know what it is. I take off at a dead sprint toward the wolf, fear the equivalent of fourteen terrified children coursing through my veins. If I'm not fast enough, I die. _Move, move, MOVE!_

I throw myself at the door at the end of the corridor, trying to get it open. It's stuck. Mike is swearing up a storm behind me as not one but _two_ Wendigos come toward us. He comes up beside me and shoves his shoulder into the door as well, and we manage to work it open, just a small amount. Then he's gone, back in the direction of the approaching Wendigos. He kicks a barrel toward them, holding the gun aloft.

"Charlie, get through that door _now_!" he shouts over his shoulder.

I don't even think about it before doing as he says, managing to wedge my body through the small opening in the door, thereby pushing it open just a little bit more. The wolf squeezes in behind me, and we both back away from the door. There's an explosion from the other side. Seconds later, Mike is making his way through the door as well. He slams it shut and slides the deadbolt into place before turning around to face me.

The three of us head out of this room and up a set of stairs. There are a lot of holes in the roof and walls through here, allowing for snow to blow through into the room and therefore onto me. I shiver. What I wouldn't give for a hot bath right now - oh wait.

A Wendigo screeches behind us. Once again, Mike takes the moment to swear loudly before following me as I sprint the fuck away from there and toward another door. "Charlie, duck!" he snaps. I immediately move out of the way and cover my head with my arms, still sprinting. Mike shoots the lock off the door right before I get to it, giving me enough momentum to shove my way through. Mike slams the door shut and I assist in pushing a set of lockers in front of it. My heart is about to beat out of my chest. Whether it's from fear or from all this running, I have no idea. Honestly, it's probably both.

There's another hole in the floor, kind of like the one from earlier. I don't see any other way to go, so I run toward it without Mike's prior approval and sit down on the edge. Scooting myself off, I touch down on the floor below us just half a second later. Mike quickly follows, then holds his arms out for the wolf. "Hey, buddy," he says soothingly. I almost smile. "Come on down. It's alright."

Wolfie whines a little and backs away from the edge of the hole, ears pressed flat against his head. Hopefully that's a sign that he's too scared to jump down and not that we just made a horrible mistake in coming in this direction.

"Okiedokie, bud," Mike says, dropping his arms back to his sides. "Catch you on the flipside, huh?" As the wolf trots away, Mike looks down at me with a small smile. "Guess it's just you and me now, huh?"

I nod, letting out a shaky breath. "Yeah." I clear my throat and look down at the gun in his hands. "Y-you shot a lot of W-Wendigos." Fuck my voice and all its wavering. "Do you need more shells?"

Mike almost looks surprised. "Did you bring more with you?" I nod, and he laughs. "Well then, yeah, I'll take a few more." I grab a handful out of one of my pockets and pass them over. He immediately loads two into the gun and pockets the rest. Smiling, he ruffles my hair; I glare. "Alright. Let's keep going. I think we're almost to the mines."

Thank God.

We run ahead, jumping down to another lower level, and head for a set of stairs that look like they'll lead outside. Once again, the doors won't open. "What the fuck?" I shriek as I repeatedly throw myself against them, trying to get them to budge in any sort of way. They don't. "M-Mike?"

A Wendigo leaps toward us out of nowhere, and I almost scream, but Mike shoots it and sends it flying away form us before I can manage it. Why are his reflexes so much faster than mine? Also, why am I unarmed? I just have a flashlight, what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Blind the fuckers?

A second Wendigo comes toward us, this time stopping next to a _huge_ pile of barrels rather than jumping straight toward us. Mike shoves me toward the door, shouting something that I can't hear because suddenly there's an explosion. Fiery heat expands, incinerating the Wendigos and blowing the doors open, throwing both Mike and I out of the sanatorium and into the snow below. Hot - it's so hot. My arm stings, but the snow makes it hurt less. My ears are ringing. Do I still have eyebrows?

Mike groans from beside me and gets to his feet. I would do the same, but more screeching comes from the direction of the sanatorium - which is now on fire. What looks like a fireball spirals around, flying in our direction. It's a face. A Wendigo. Still lying flat in the snow, I look up at Mike. "What the - What the hell was that?"

"We - " He coughs loudly, his body shaking. He braces himself against his knees. "We released its spirit, I think."

"Is that a good thing?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know."

oOoOo

 _Josh goes back to ignoring me again after that weekend. Occasionally I'll get a text from him apologizing for the lack of interaction, but nothing ever changes. I don't know what to do. It's really difficult, loving someone who only wants you on their time, not all the time. Does that sound clingy?_

 _Fuck, it does._

 _I'm at Walmart stocking up on snacks for Rebecca and myself. I've been eating a lot of ice cream lately. I'm an emotional eater, a stress eater, whatever you want to call it. Honestly, it's kind of pathetic. I just really thought things were going to be different, and they aren't. They're painfully the same as before._

 _I throw a container of chocolate ice cream into my basket. I've been having a lot of outbursts. It's gotten to the point where Rebecca will sense one coming and immediately grab the ice cream. I always feel bad about it after. God, I'm a mess._

 _"Charlie?" someone says hesitantly from the other end of the aisle._

 _Blonde hair, glasses, pretty tall, kind of nerdy-cute... "Chris? Hi!"_

 _He looks instantly relieved. "Oh, thank God," he says, walking toward me. "I was really hoping it was you and not some stranger that just looks like you." There's a wide grin on his face. "That'd be awkward. How are you? It's been a while."_

 _Josh had invited me to a barbecue with Sam and Chris sometime in July, but I hadn't seen either Chris nor Sam since then. We'd talk occasionally; Chris always sends weird selfies over Snapchat, and Sam sometimes will FaceTime me to check in and talk about her day. I like them a lot, and I'm really happy Chris is here. I need social interaction._

 _"I mean, I've definitely been better, but I'm not awful," I say with a small smile. I'm just being honest. Honesty is good. Good friends are honest._

 _Chris tilts his head. "Everything okay?" He seems genuinely concerned. That's sweet._

 _"Finals are just coming up, and I'm a little stressed," I say. And I mean, Josh is an issue right now, too, but we don't need to talk about that._

 _He looks down to inspect the contents of my basket: ice cream, chips, and a container of powdered doughnuts. "Is that what all the junk food is for?" He looks like he's trying not to laugh. "Maybe try some fruit? Might make you feel a little better."_

 _I stick my tongue out at him and yank the basket away from his line of vision. "I'm not done shopping yet, genius."_

 _Chris laughs now, unable to hold it in. "It's awesome to see you, dude. Do you have plans this afternoon?"_

 _I never have plans. Ever. "Um, I don't think so, no. Why? What's up?"_

 _"I'm grabbing lunch with Ashley around noon. Do you wanna come with? She really wants to meet you, and it'd be cool to catch up." Chris blinks rapidly at me, a hopeful expression on his face._

 _I grin and nod. "Yeah, man. I'd love to."_

 _Chris fist pumps and whips out his phone. "Awesome! I'll let Ash know."_

 _"I'm not going to be crashing your date or anything, am I?" I ask slyly, not missing the way his cheeks flare up with pink. Josh had told me Chris has a huge crush on Ashley. Judging by the way Chris is trying to splutter out an answer, I'm guessing Josh was right._

 _"What? No - I - no, of course not - I - "_

 _I start to laugh. "Jesus, dude, I'm just teasing you."_

 _Chris's face reddens some more. "You know. How do you know?" It dawns on him less than a second later; I can see it on his face. He sighs and scratches the back of his neck, nodding slowly. "Josh. Josh told you, didn't he?" I nod, a wide grin on my face. "Alright, alright. Don't act so smug."_

 _"You like Ashley," I say cheekily with a little smirk. "That's so cute."_

 _It's Chris's turn to stick his tongue out at me. "It's not 'cute', Charlie."_

 _"It's adorable."_

 _He rolls his eyes, but I can tell that he's pleased. "Okay, fine. Yes, I like Ashley. I like her a lot. And you'll like her too, when you meet her." His phone buzzes and he looks down, a bashful smile on his face. "And she's very excited for that moment, apparently."_

 _I smile. "That's good, at least." I pause. "Wait, why are you at Walmart?"_

 _His face turns bright red again and he scratches the back of his neck. "Well, I was going to buy her flowers, but now I think that'd be kind of weird, considering you're going to be there, too."_

 _"You_ invited _me!"_

 _He laughs and shoves his hands over my mouth, quieting me down. "Yes, yes, I did invite you. And it's fine. It's all fine. Can we go now?"_

 _I roll my eyes and adjust my grip on my basket of items. I still have more shopping to do, but I guess I can come back later. As I pay for the few things I have, Chris making lame jokes beside me, I smile softly to myself. Meeting new people is good. Hanging out with Chris is good. Distracting myself from my inner turmoil about Josh - that's definitely good. And even though he doesn't know it, I can't thank Chris enough for this._


	14. FOURTEEN

|| FOURTEEN ||

"I really hope you didn't kill Wolfie when you blew up the sanatorium."

Mike rolls his eyes from beside me, but I can tell he looks a little worried. "I'm sure he's fine," he says, shaking his head. "Come on, it's not much farther now."

We've not been walking that long. Mike had rushed to get me back on my feet after the explosion. Honestly, I just wanted to lay there. I'm so tired. I've never been this tired before. My arm is aching on top of that, as is the back of my left leg. They're burnt, but not too badly, I don't think. I'm limping just slightly. The skin on my arm is bright red and blistery, but it kind of looks like a really bad sunburn. I haven't stopped to take a good look at my left calf, but considering my leg feels unusually drafty, I can tell that my jeans were either torn or burned straight through. Great.

The entrance to the mines looms ahead, which means we should be finding Josh soon. Thank God. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm still not sure as to whether I believe he's alive or not, but it doesn't matter right now. Right now, I just have to focus on finding him, in whatever status he may be in.

Mike jumps down into the mines first and holds his arms out for me. My pride is telling me not to allow him to help me down, but the stinging in my leg prompts me to scoot my way toward the edge of the drop and push myself off. Mike doesn't catch me so much as support me when I stumble forward, and that's all I really need. He gives me a tense smile, and then we continue on our way.

The ground gradually slopes downward, leading us deeper and deeper into the mines. I'm still uncomfortable with the fact that there are not only mines on this mountain but an abandoned sanatorium as well. Why did the Washingtons think it was a good idea to buy _this specific_ mountain? Were there no mountains closer to California that are less haunted by creepy Wendigo spirits? I mean, honestly, wasn't there a better way to spend their money? Don't rich people usually buy _islands_ , not _mountains_?

"Are you okay?"

Mike's voice makes me jump. I guess I was zoning out. "I'm fine," I say, keeping my eyes trained ahead of us. I can't zone out again. I have to stay focused.

But Mike doesn't seem convinced by my answer. "How's your arm?" he presses.

I shrug, and subconsciously run the tips of my fingers across the burn. It hurts when I touch it, but not unbearably so - more like when you have a sore tooth that you push against with your tongue. It aches, but it's not unwelcome. It's bittersweet.

"Charlie?" Mike snaps his fingers in front of my face, startling me again. I blink slowly up at him. His brown eyes are filled with concern. "Are you _sure_ you're doing okay?"

Of course I'm okay. How could I not be? It's not like I've been running on an incredibly miniscule amount of sleep, sprinting my ass around this godforsaken mountain, and trying to escape imminent death by Wendigo. I'm fine. Obviously.

Mike slings an arm over my shoulders and pulls me against his side, making walking a little awkward. "You look tired," he says, almost conversationally. I shrug. "Come on. _I'm_ tired after all that running, and I get my full eight hours of beauty sleep."

" _You_ need it, though," I say, though the snark isn't quite there, and the comment seems to cause Mike to only worry more. I roll my eyes. "Yes, I'm tired. But it doesn't matter, because we're underground in these stupid mines trying to find someone who might not even be down here in the first place and who could be dead, for all we know."

He seems taken aback by my response, but he says nothing more and instead drops his arm from around me. I'm a little disappointed; it was much warmer when he was halfway hugging me, and my legs are so shaky from fatigue that it was nice being able to lean against him. But I can make it just fine on my own.

We walk in silence for a while, traversing deeper and deeper into the mine. It smells musty down here, like damp soil and stale air. I wonder when the last time people were down here was - besides us, I mean.

"Do you think Josh is still alive?" I ask quietly. My voice sounds strange, almost too quiet to be heard. But Mike hears me. He always does.

He shrugs one shoulder and scratches the back of his neck. "I don't know. It's possible, right?" I have no idea, actually. Mike sighs. "I really hope he is. I don't know if we'll be able to hold out till dawn. If we could just get the key to the cable car, we could get out of here in no time."

"Is that all you want him to be alive for?" Technically, Josh doesn't have to be alive in order to take the key from him. We could always pull if off his - his corpse. For a moment, I stop walking and brace my hands against my knees. I feel like I might vomit any second. The ground is spinning beneath me. I can sense Mike's alarm but don't bother to look up. I just have to get my bearings back. _Josh is still alive. Josh has to be alive. And, if he's not, we're going to have to find some way to get his body out of here._

I almost lose my balance, but Mike catches my arm and steadies me. The nausea is almost overwhelming, rising in a crescendo the darker my thoughts turn. _You're going to have to ride back to Los Angeles with a corpse. The corpse of the person you've been desperately in love with for almost a year._

I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I almost miss the loud screeching coming from behind us - _almost_. Jesus fuck, can't we catch a break? Ever? Mike grabs my wrist and drags me into a sprint. My legs feel like jelly and can hardly support my weight, but the quicker I move, the less of an issue it becomes. We don't look back. We don't have to. We know what they look like, how creepy and - " _Oh my God where did all of its skin go?_ " I shriek. Maybe I took a peek at it after all.

The Wendigo is black and red, glowing like the sullen embers of a campfire someone lost the motivation to continue fueling. But it's still a Wendigo, and it's still after us, and I don't have any time to stop and contemplate what its lack of ghostly pale skin means.

We dart around corners, jump down steep drops, climb on top of ledges, shimmy our way onto different platforms, all manner of different things in order to get away from the damn thing. My lungs are burning. I can hardly put any weight on my left leg. Slow down, I just need to _slow down_ , take a breath, calm my heart rate - but I can't, I have to run, I have to stay alive. I have to find Josh and get out of here. _Josh is alive. Josh is still alive, COME ON, you have to FIND HIM._

There's a set of double doors up ahead, metal ones, and Mike flings me toward it. All the momentum sends me barreling straight through one of the doors and onto the floor on the other side. I'm quick to roll out of the way as Mike comes through behind me, immediately throwing himself against the door to shut it. "Goddammit! Stay out there!" he shouts.

The Wendigo crashes through the door, knocking Mike backwards and to the ground beside me. It jumps on top of him, trying to gouge out his insides, and he's doing his best to fend it off, but he'll definitely lose this fight. _Goddammit, Charlie, move!_

I'm not fast enough. "Mike! Charlie! Holy shit!" It's Sam. My body floods with relief. There's a rusted metal pipe in her hand that she swings toward the Wendigo's head. She catches it on the underside of the jaw, knocking its head to the side. It recovers after half a second and lunges toward her. One more swing from the pipe and its head flies clean off.

I push myself into a seated position as Sam helps Mike to his feet. The Wendigo body falls over. I reach out with one finger and poke at its charred exterior; the surface is hot, and I yank my hand back before I get the chance to suffer through another burn.

Mike slides the gun he's been carrying through the door handles, keeping the doors firmly shut As he does so, the same sort of red fireball with a Wendigo face spirals outward from the monster's lifeless body, escaping through a small hole in the wall. God, I hate that; it's so creepy. _Honestly, Charlie, that's the least of your worries right now._

On my feet now, I lumber toward Sam and wrap her up in a hug. Fuck, words can't describe how happy I am to see her right now. With three of us, we stand a much better chance at getting through here without dying. There's strength in numbers, right? "God, I'm so glad you're here," I breathe, squeezing her tightly.

She hugs back just as firmly. "Yeah, I am, too."

"You alright?" Mike asks, coming over to us. He's breathing heavily. He holds his hand out toward me, nodding toward my sweatshirt pocket, and I pass the flashlight over to him. He clicks it on.

Sam smiles a little. "Uh, define 'alright.'"

"Alive, for a start," he says.

Sam laughs a little, but it sounds forced. "Yeah. Yeah, alive's good." I smile. Alive is very good.

Having caught his breath, Mike gets straight to the point. "The hell are you doing here, anyway?"

Sam shrugs, almost embarrassed. "I was gonna warn you guys about the Wendigos."

I chuckle mirthlessly and Mike shoots me a concerned look. I give Sam a lopsided smile and nod my head, gesturing toward the dead Wendigo beside us. "Yeah, I think we got it."

Mike grabs my wrist and nods to Sam. We start walking, Mike still keeping a firm grip on my arm. Honestly, I don't need him to be grabbing me like this; I'm more than happy to follow the two of them. There's no way in hell I'm going to wander off. I'm not an idiot.

"Let's find a way down to where this fucker lives," Mike says.

I exhale slowly. "Oh, I'd love to." The smile he gives me holds no real amusement, but it's a smile nonetheless. "Sam, is everyone else okay?"

She nods. "Yeah, yeah, everyone's fine. We were all going to come after you guys, but the only way through was to climb a rock wall, and I was the only one who could do it." She shrugs nonchalantly. You can tell she's proud of her abilities. "They should be back at the lodge now. I told them to go back to waiting in the basement."

"It was crazy of you to come alone," Mike chastises, giving Sam a stern look. Sometimes I think he forgets that he's younger than both Sam and I. What an alpha male.

The blonde shrugs. "Well, I figured you may need some backup. You never know."

I grin at her. This time around, it's a little more real. "Well, _I'm_ glad you're here, even if Mike isn't." Sam winks, and I laugh. This is good. I needed some comic relief in this godawful nightmare.

"I was _not_ prepared for how ugly that thing would be up close," Sam says after a while. I nod in agreement. They're pretty fucking awful.

Mike looks lost in thought for a moment, and he stops in his tracks. "So, I noticed something kind of weird about it." Sam and I both give him a look, urging him to go on. "The Wendigo. It had a scar."

Sam seems unimpressed. "So?"

"I've seen it before."

I try to recall what Mike is referring to. The only scar I remember seeing was on that patient's face - Billy Bates, or whatever his name was. It cut across his face. Vaguely, I recall seeing one of the Wendigos with a scar across his face, looking eerily similar to the one in the photographs. But that would mean - holy shit.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks.

Mike glances down at me, and I give him a wide-eyed nod. He nods back. "We saw these old pictures of some guy with that same scar - and he was transforming into a Wendigo."

Sam's face has gone a little paler. "You're kidding."

I shake my head. Mike goes on. "It was one of the miners who'd been trapped back in the fifties in the cave-in, which means that this thing is eighty years old. At least."

Sam exhales slowly. "Spunky for an old timer," she says after a moment. I snort.

"They cleaned the place out," Mike says. "Killed a lot of people."

"They?" Sam is white as a sheet now. "You mean there're more of them?" I swallow thickly and nod at her. Of course there are more. "How many?"

Mike looks at me again, like he's expecting me to have the answer, but it's not like I stopped to count them all. There were a lot, especially locked up in the different cells. But how many of them did we kill when we blew up the sanatorium?

Realizing I won't be giving him a concrete answer, Mike looks back to Sam and says, "Too many." He resumes walking. How dramatic.

I can hear water dripping in the distance. An underwater lake? That's kind of weird. _Why does this seem so familiar?_ Sam brushes past me and wanders a little further ahead, glancing around. "I think we're close," she says. "To the lair."

"How can you tell?"

She shakes her head slowly. "I don't know, I just feel really terrible all of a sudden."

"Ditto," Mike mutters.

We walk a little further, eventually reaching the edge of a large body of water. So there's a lake here after all. Sam stops at the edge and looks down at the water in disdain. "I _really_ don't wanna go in there," she says, glancing back at Mike and me.

"There's no other way through," Mike says with a shrug.

I glance off to the left. It seems like there's more dry land that way, kind of like a little path along the edge of the water. "No, wait," I say, drawing their attention to me. I gesture toward the left. "We could check this direction. Could be something over there."

Sam and Mike look at each other and shrug before following along behind me. It's a short walk; this extension of land doesn't go as far as I thought it did. It's only a few yards long, but what lies at the end makes me stop abruptly in my tracks, making Sam bump into me. My eyes are wide. "Oh, my God."

"Is that what I think it is?" Sam's voice is just as hushed as mine.

Mike comes to a stop beside us, a grim expression on his face. "Shit," he says. "Looks like a grave."

That's exactly what it is. There's a hole in the ground at the end of our brief walk, not too deep, and dotted with small bits of bone. There's a pile of dirt off to the side, mean that the grave had been dug up - which explains the lack of a body lying within.

I creep closer and peer inside. Sam follows, bending over to dig something out of the dirt with her fingers. Straightening up, she gives Mike a wide-eyed look. "Oh, god, Mike." She turns away from the grave and toward Mike and I, holding something small aloft. It's a watch. "This is Beth's. This is her watch."

Mike brushes past me to take the watch from Sam's hand. "What? Let me see." He turns it over, inspecting every inch of it, a look of horror slowly dawning on his face.

While Mike checks out the watch, Sam returns to where I stand beside the grave. She points toward where bits of splintered wood are lying scattered beside an indent in the ground. "Look. There was a cross here."

I wrap my arms around myself. This is officially creeping me out now. I never knew Beth, or Hannah for that matter, so I'm not taking their deaths nearly as hard as Sam and Mike seem to be. Nevertheless, the empty grave and missing cross are incredibly eerie, and I would very much like to get away from here.

"So, this is where she was buried," Mike says, looking down at the grave.

When Sam looks at me, I can tell she's thinking the same thing I am. "But who dug her up?"

The three of us stand in silence for a few moments. Mike is the first to speak. "Let's keep moving." Sam and I nod solemnly, and he leads the way back toward the edge of the lake.

We all stop once we reach it, staring down at the dark water below us. I don't want to go in. Not only is it likely to be unbelievably cold, but I can't shake the nagging feeling that something is about to go horribly, _horribly_ wrong as soon as we jump in. We look at each other, sizing each other up, a silent debate over who is going to take the plunge first.

"Fine," Sam says finally. "I'm going in."

Even so, Mike crouches down and jumps into the water ahead of her, flinching as soon as it hits him. He's shaking a little - so it _is_ cold. Perfect. "Come on," he says, looking back at us. "It's not so bad."

Sam hesitates. "You sure?"

"I'm not dead yet."

"Famous last words," the blonde mumbles, sitting down on the ledge. She pushes off a second later, gasping when she hits the water.

The two of them start wading away, not even noticing that I haven't gotten into the lake yet. I don't want to - I _really_ don't want to. Something is telling me that this is an awful idea, but I can't place my finger on what it is that has me so on edge about it. I glance around, trying to give myself some reason to not get in the water. Half a second later, I find one. There's a totem lying off to the side, this one carved to look like a badger. How did I miss that when we first got here?

I rush over to it, crouching down to retrieve it. The markings are painted bright white, and I elicit a small sigh of relief. White means fortune, from what I remember seeing on the sign. This one should be okay to look at. I turn it over, eyeing the black butterfly warily. Seconds later, I'm pulled into another "vison".

It's short and sweet. I'm looking at the lodge, and it's engulfed in flames. The vision fades out just as quickly as it came, and I'm left sitting here in confusion. How is burning down the lodge supposed to be a _fortunate_ event? Shaking my head, I set the totem back on the ground and straighten up again. As weird as they are, I find the totems sort of intriguing. Josh had said he'd never seen one; I can't believe I've found two tonight.

Except that I haven't found two. I gasp audibly and whip my head toward the lake, where Sam and Mike are still trudging through the water. I've found three totems tonight. The one with the bird, the very first one, the one I just looked at and -

"Charlie! What the hell are you doing? Get in here!"

And the one that showed me getting thrown against a rock wall and pinned down by a monster with yellow eyes. A Wendigo.

 _I can't get in the water. It's going to get me. If I just stay on land, it can't get me. The "prophecy" won't come true if I just stay right here._

"Charlie!"

Mike and Sam have waded back in my direction, looking very concerned and a little annoyed. I know, I know, I'm holding the search party up, but I believe I have a very valid reason for doing so. I'm pretty sure imminent death is a good excuse for not jumping into an underground lake. Just saying.

Mike grabs the drop off point and peers up at me, a frown on his face. "Come on, we've gotta go." I shake my head. "What do you mean, 'no'? Charlie, we've got to find Josh. I thought that was what you wanted?"

It's actually what _Mike_ wanted, and just so he could get the key to the cable car. "I do want to find Josh, I just - " How do I explain this without them thinking I'm crazy for believing something I saw in a vision granted by a little wooden figure? "I just don't think this is very safe. Something feels really wrong."

Mike smiles a little and gestures back and forth between himself and Sam. "Well, Sam and I aren't dead, so I'm pretty sure you're safe to come in, too."

They're not dead _yet_ , anyway. I pause. Sam wasn't in the vision that predicted me pretty much getting killed by a Wendigo. It was just Mike and Josh, and we don't even have confirmation that Josh is still alive right now. If something that major is different to the vision, does that mean it won't come true? Mike and Sam are still staring at me, waiting for me to comply. I swallow hard. Well, I guess there's only one way to find out if my theory is true.

"Okay, fine," I mumble, scooting toward the edge and dropping down into the water beside Mike. The water is freezing, and goosebumps immediately rise up on my skin. I keep my arms above the water just like the other two are doing, trying not to get the sleeves of my sweatshirt wet. My jeans, boots, and socks are already soaked, and I'm shaking like a leaf. At this point, the water only goes up as high as my waist. I can handle this. "Let's just go. The sooner we get out of here, the better."

Sam and Mike nod and start to wade back to where they'd been at before. "There's an area off to the left over there - " Sam points in that direction. " - that I think we should check out."

I nod and follow along behind them. The water gradually starts to get deeper, eventually coming up to my chest. But the closer we get to where Sam had indicated, the higher the ground beneath my feet gets, until I'm far enough out of the water that I can pull myself back onto dry land, right on Mike and Sam's heels. Mike grabs me under my arms to help me out; I don't have a whole lot of upper body strength.

There's nothing here, except for a thin stack of papers. As we approach it, it becomes clearer that it's a makeshift journal. Mike sucks in a breath from behind me. "Oh shit," he breathes. "That looks like Hannah's writing."

Hannah?

I crouch down beside Sam, reading over her shoulder as she flips through the pages.

 _Day 1. My little sister is dead. The fall killed her. I watched the color drain from her face. My leg is broken. I'm all alone, stuck here with Beth's body. Someone_ _will_ _come._

 _Day 5. I've_ _never_ _been so_ _HUNGRY_ _. It feels like my stomach is twisting around inside. I took Beth's sweater. Much warmer now. She's still looking out for me._

 _Day 30. I'm sorry, Beth. I have no choice. I'm_ _DYING_ _. It's the only way I can survive anymore. If someone finds this I'm_ _SORRY_ _. I_ _had to_ _. I had_ _no choice_ _. Forgive me, Beth. I'm sorry._

I try to catch Sam's eye, but she's still staring at the journal in disbelief. We both know where this is going. Mike tries to say something, but Sam holds up her hand to silence him. She turns to the next page. The handwriting is messier than it was before. Some words are crossed out, the lettering is much larger, and all attempts at punctuation have flown out the window.

 _Day 33. My hands feel unclean. My_ _nails_ _fell out_ _PUSHED OUT_ _I am aching but no more_ _COLD_ _NO PAIN I am getting stronger._

She was transitioning.

The last page is an ungodly array of the word "hungry", scrawled across the paper like it was the only thought on Hannah's mind. And it probably was.

Sam looks like she could cry. Again, as I didn't know Hannah or Beth, I'm not nearly as affected as she is. Still, though, what happened is terrifying, and the thought of Josh finding out about this makes my chest ache.

"Oh, god," Sam says, turning toward Mike. Her eyes are rimmed with red, but she's rapidly blinking moisture away. I set a hand on her arm and she gives me a faint smile. "It makes sense. I think Hannah dug up Beth." She swallows. "It was Hannah!"

Mike denies it immediately. "No, that's - that's ridiculous."

"Michael - " He shakes his head rapidly and backs half a step away. Sam follows after him. "Michael, it has to be. It's the only thing that makes sense. Beth died in the fall."

Now he turns to anger. "So, what? What does that mean?" he snaps. Anger is the second stage of grief - right after denial.

"Mike, come on - "

Sam cuts me off. "So, Hannah must have buried her."

Mike turns away, gripping his hair tightly between his fingers. "Goddammit. Goddammit!"

"Hannah was down here for - "

"I don't believe any of this!"

Sam is closer to tears now than she was before. "She would have been _starving_ , she would have been _desperate_."

Mike whips around, anger and desperation in his brown eyes. "Fuck!"

I'm helplessly watching their exchange, unable to input anything. What could I say that could possibly make them feel better? One of their best friends died, and the other one broke her leg and couldn't climb back out of this pit. She ate her sister. She changed. And that means that there is a Wendigo prowling around down here, the distorted body of someone who used to mean the world to the two teenagers in crisis in front of me. The sister of someone who means the world to _me_. Someone who may be alive, and entirely unaware of what's gone on down here.

My head aches, and my stomach lurches uncomfortably at the thought of getting back in the water, especially after learning what I just did. But there's no other choice. "We have to find Josh," I say firmly, drawing Mike and Sam's attention. "And we have to find him now."

oOoOo

 _"I told you to take a break from all that studying, didn't I?"_

 _"And_ I _told you that I'm not good at math, Michael." I sigh and turn to another page in my textbook, hastily scribbling down more notes. "Finals are next week. I have to pass this class or it's going to wreck my grade point average."_

 _Mike sighs audibly from where he's lounged across my bed. I'm seated at my desk, my feet propped up on Rebecca's desk chair. She went home for the weekend to visit her parents before finals, in what she dubbed a "relaxation weekend". I wish I could have one of those. Mike came over in an effort to get me to loosen up some, but has been unsuccessful thus far. I'll relax once this semester is over._

 _"Why don't you switch to a different subject for a while, then?" he suggests, trying to be helpful. It's sweet of him, it really is, but I can't do it._

 _I shake my head. "I'm positive I'm going to ace my other classes; it's just statistics that I'm worried about. And, anyway, shouldn't you be doing studying of your own? Are you not concerned about finals at all?"_

 _He shrugs and tosses tiny balls of paper at me. He gives me a cheeky grin when I glare at him. "Nah, I think I'll do alright. I'm pretty sure you're the only person on this campus so concerned about finals."_

 _"That's a lie." He laughs._

 _I resume working on my study guide, growling in frustration every time I get an answer wrong. For a while, the only sound in the room is the frantic scratching of my pen against the paper, hastily scribbling out incorrect numbers. Then Mike's phone rings._

 _"Hello?" he says, answering it immediately._

 _I tune his conversation out. "Margin of error," I mumble, squinting at the page in front of me. "What the fuck is margin of error?"_

 _I nearly jump out of my skin when Mike sets a hand on my shoulder. He laughs at me, and I stick my tongue out at him. After a few moments of laughter, he calms back down and gives me a grin. "I'm gonna take off, if that's cool with you," he says. "I think I'm hindering your study session more than I'm enhancing it, anyway."_

 _Rolling my eyes, I give him a nod. "Too right. Have a good night, Mike."_

 _He gives me a half wave and heads for the door. "You too. See you sometime over break?" I nod and turn back to my textbook. "Awesome. Good luck on finals." The door clicks shut a few seconds later, and I'm alone._

 _It's not even been five minutes since Mike left when my phone suddenly buzzes on my nightstand. It stops after a couple of seconds, meaning it was just a text. I ignore it and return to trying to comprehend the material in front of me. But then my phone buzzes again, and Mike's words echo in my head._ Take a break.

 _I push myself away from the desk and snatch my phone off the nightstand, opening up the two messages I received. My heart rate picks up considerably when I see they're both from Josh._ Come let me in, _the first one reads._ Don't ignore me. I'm much cooler than you're homework. _Half a second later, I get a third message, my phone vibrating against my palm._ I just want to talk to you.

 _I head for the door immediately. I'm disappointed by how easy it is for me to let him back in after he's been ignoring me for so long. What can I say? I'm hopeless. Also, why is he even here, and how did he know where I live? I'm in a different building than last year, and he's never come to visit me here. I push those thoughts aside and jog down the stairs toward the building's front doors, unable to suppress the tiny bit of excitement steadily growing in the pit of my stomach. I hate how happy I am to see him._

 _And then he's there, standing just on the other side of the wooden door, hands shoved deep into his coat pockets. I didn't even bother to put a jacket on before coming down to meet him, but I don't care. I'm out the door in one second, launching myself into his waiting arms one second later. He catches me easily, squeezing me tightly as he laughs into my ear. "Miss me that much?" he chuckles._

 _I pull out of his grip quickly and smack his arm with as much strength as I can muster. Admittedly, that's not very much. "How can you just stop fucking talking to me again? Do you think that little of me?" I snap._

 _He raises his hands in defense, green eyes wide. Okay, I guess I flipped the switch on my moods pretty quickly, but still. He deserves it. "No, no, of course I don't. I'll explain everything in just a minute. Can we go back to your room?"_

 _My cheeks heat up a little, and I nod, exhaling slowly. My temper fades just as quickly as it flared up. "Yeah, of course."_

 _We walk in silence back to my room. Josh has a small smile on his face that doesn't quite touch his eyes. I'm already worried, and he's hardly been here five minutes. My Mom-complex is really getting out of control._

 _I shut the door behind us and turn toward my best friend, who has settled down on the edge of my bed. His hands are folded in his lap, and his eyes are directed at the floor. I want to ask what's wrong, but I know he'll tell me if I'm patient. "How'd you know where I live?" I ask instead, leaning against the wall. I fold my arms across my chest and attempt to look intimidating, but I know it doesn't work. He just smiles at me instead._

 _"I called Mike and asked. When I talked to Chris he said you'd been hanging out with Mike a lot, so I figured he would be able to tell me."_

 _"Did you ask him to leave so you could talk to me?" Josh nods. "Talk, then. What's going on?"_

 _He's quiet for a moment, swallowing hard, like what he wants to say is particularly difficult to let loose. "I wanted to apologize for how I've been behaving," he says softly. The words sound forced; he's making himself talk. I know him well enough by now. "I just - I couldn't really help it. I talked to you when I could, I swear I did." He swallows audibly and stares at his hands. "I just didn't have access to a phone for a lot of these last few months."_

 _I creep a few steps closer to him. "Why not?"_

 _"They didn't let me use my cell phone."_

 _"They?" I'm assuming it's his parents he's talking about, but why would they care if he uses his phone? Especially if it means talking to his friends?_

 _Again, he falls silent, fiddling with his fingers in front of him. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he has the words but is too afraid to say them. I can't stand seeing him like this. Why is he so nervous? He should know better than to be nervous around me. Although I did sort of freak out on him a little bit ago._

 _He clears his throat, bringing my attention back to the conversation. "Dr. Hill recommended I be placed under observation after what happened over spring break last year," Josh says softly, hardly loud enough for me to even hear him. "They gave me the summer to see how I was doing, decided I still needed help, and then had be referred to a psychiatric ward." He laughs, but it sounds just as forced as his words. "They don't really let you have phones in there. Only once in a blue moon, and only when I could manage to sneak a quick message to you. They kept a pretty close eye on me."_

 _I'm in front of him in seconds, arms around his neck with his head on my chest. He loops his arms loosely around my hips and breathes slowly. "Oh, Josh," I say quietly, soothingly, as I run my fingers through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me before?"_

 _"Embarrassed," he mumbles. After a few moments, he pulls back and looks up at me. "That weekend I called you and had you come over, that was the first time I'd been home in a while. I_ wanted _to tell you, I just didn't know how to."_

 _I give him a small smile and brush his cheek with my thumb. "Well, I wish you had told me sooner, but I understand why you didn't. Are you doing better?"_

 _He nods swiftly. "They discharged me, actually. Just a couple days ago." I grin at him, and he smiles back. "That's not what I came to talk to you about, though. Not really."_

 _I raise an eyebrow and move to sit beside him on the bed. "No?" He shakes his head. "What, then?"_

 _The smile that spreads across his face is the most genuine, charming one I've seen out of him in a very, very long time, and I find myself smiling back. "The semester ends soon, right?" I nod. "Good."_

 _We he doesn't say anything more, I nudge him with my shoulder. "What is it?"_

 _He's still smiling as he leans in toward me and rests his forehead against mine. His green eyes are all I can see. His breath smells strongly of mint when he speaks. "I want you to come with me to my parents' lodge over winter break, Charlie."_


	15. FIFTEEN

|| FIFTEEN ||

We jump back into the lake not long after our discovery. Now there's a greater sense of urgency to add to the apprehension I'm already feeling. There's only one direction for us to go now; hopefully it's the way that will lead us to Josh. I'm ready for this adventure to be over. I just need to see him. That's the only thing that will make this trek through the water worth it.

 _Please be okay, please be okay._

We've been half-wading, half-swimming through the water, which is much deeper than it was before. It comes to Mike's chest, as he's the tallest of the three of us, putting it at almost above my shoulders. I can hardly touch the bottom of the lake; I'm creeping along on the tips of my toes.

"Hey, it's sloping up again," Mike says, glancing back at me. "We're gonna make it."

"Oh my God, don't jinx it!" Sam snaps, though there's no real heat to her voice. She just sounds tired.

There's another ledge like the other ones we've climbed in and out of the lake from just a few feet away. Mike is the first to reach it. "Come on, come on," he says, grabbing the edge and heaving himself upward. Sam follows right behind him, and they both help to pull me out of the water. I really need to do some pull ups once we're off the mountain; this is getting ridiculous.

Mike grins down at me and pats my shoulder. "We made it," he says.

I roll my eyes good-naturedly. "We're soaked to the bone, freezing cold, and potentially being pursued by Wendigos, but at least we made it." He sticks his tongue out at me and I laugh.

There's a door up ahead of us, large and metal and heavy-looking, with a long lever that you're supposed to open it with. Sam grabs it with both hands and pulls, instantly getting knocked back by the force of the water that comes flooding out through it. Both her and Mike end up on the ground after getting knocked off their feet. Sam is screaming. I'm standing far enough back that I don't understand what's happened until a severed head comes to a stop against my boots. And then I scream, too.

It's the head of the flamethrower guy, the one who had been killed in front of Chris. No wonder Chris was so shaken up about it; it took the guy's head clean off. I'm so startled by it that I reflexively lash out with one foot and kick it across the ground. It skitters over toward the edge of the lake and falls in. I throw a hand over my mouth. "Fuck." I grimace. "Sorry, man."

"Jesus," Mike says, eyes wide. He motions for me to join him and Sam by the door. Once I'm beside them, we walk through to the other side and look up.

There are hooks hanging from the ceiling, huge ones that could very easily support the weight of an adult's body. Because they are. A mere two or three feet into the room hangs the body of the flamethrower man, the hook piercing him through the throat. I have to feel some sense of relief that it happened after he was already dead; at least he didn't have to be hung up while he was still alive. No matter how you look at it, though, the sight is terrifying and awful. _That's what will happen to you if you get caught, Charlie._

"You see that?" Sam asks breathlessly.

Mike gives a slight nod, his face deathly white beneath all the blood and dirt on his face. "Yeah." His voice is just as hushed. He turns away from the body. "I'm gonna be sick," he mumbles.

We stagger a little further into the room. Moonlight streams through the gaps in the ceiling above us. We must be somewhat close to the surface. There's a makeshift wall made of planks off to the right that Mike stumbles toward, bracing a hand against one of the boards. "Wait, wait, wait!" he says hurriedly, peering through a gap between two boards. "Hold on. I think I saw something."

I'm at his side in an instant, ripping the flashlight out of his hand so I can shine it through. I peer through the gap directly above where I'm managing to get light through. There's someone talking to themselves on the other side of this wall. "No...no, no...I don't...I don't take orders from you..." I can just make out their voice. And I instantly know who it is.

I throw the flashlight back to Mike and take off at a dead sprint toward the door in this fake wall and dart through it to the other side. I can hear Mike and Sam shouting at me not to run off, but I have to. We found him. Oh, God, we found him.

He's alive.

"Josh!" I yell, running in the direction of his voice. There's enough light streaming in from above this cavern that I can just make him out, standing in the center, turning in slow circles. I skid to a stop in front of him, coming to a halt so abruptly that I have to brace myself against his chest to keep myself from falling completely into him. Am I crying? I'm so wet from the lake and sweaty from all the running that I can't tell. "Josh?"

He's still mumbling to himself. "You can't tell me what to do..."

He's hallucinating, I think. His eyes are out of focus, looking at something just over my head.

"You can't tell me what to do anymore!"

He's out of his mind, but fuck, he's alive. Anything else I am more than willing to handle. At least he's alive.

I tap his shoulder lightly with my hand, trying to grab his attention and snap him out of it. When it doesn't work, I pat him a little harder. "Josh? Come back to me. Come on."

Mike and Sam get to us then, and each try to get Josh to come back to reality. "What's the matter with him?" Sam asks, face twisted with concern.

"He's tripping or something," Mike says. "Josh!" Before I can do anything to stop him, Mike reaches out with one hand and slaps Josh across the face. The sound echoes around the cavern. I shove Mike out of the way to grab onto Josh before he falls over. The glare on my face is lava hot; Mike merely raises his hands and shrugs.

Josh blinks rapidly and stumbles backward; I grab a handful of his overalls and pull him forward again. "M-Mike?" he stutters, green eyes coming back into focus.

"Josh. Hey, man," Mike says, a small, satisfied smile on his face.

He moves to set a hand on Josh's shoulder, but Josh flinches away. "Don't - don't hit me, p-please." My heart cracks and my glare becomes even more heated than it was before.

Mike notices and pointedly looks away. "You were deep in it, man," he says. "Full mental jacket." I'm sure Josh would have appreciated the movie pun were he not still worried about Mike smacking him upside the head.

"We didn't think we'd get you back," Sam says. I frown. _I did._

I lay a hand on his shoulder and feel the tension leave his body. Now he just seems tired, not completely wound up like he was when we found him. Progress. "We're going to get you out of here, okay?" I say gently. His green eyes slowly move toward me, and he nods just as lethargically. I've never been around him after he's been hallucinating like this. I don't really know how to act or how to help him, but he appears to be doing okay for right now.

"Josh," Sam says, stepping closer. "Hannah was down here for weeks...a month? She dug Beth up - "

"Sam," I snap, just as Mike does the same. She whips her head toward us, eyes wide in indignation, but she says nothing more. "Not now." My voice is frigid. This isn't what he needs right now. I don't know if he was even paying attention; his eyes are still trained on me.

Mike shakes his head at Sam. "Let's just get the fuck out of here."

After a moment, she nods. "Okay." Turning back to Josh, she speaks in a much more urgent tone than before. "Josh, do you have the key for the cable car?"

He blinks slowly and looks her way, seeming to process the question for a few seconds before nodding and reaching into his pocket. "Uh, y-yeah." He pulls the small silver key out and places it in her waiting palm. "Here."

The blonde smiles, relieved. "Oh, good." She turns and walks a few paces away, looking up toward the roof of the cavern. There's a thick line of light streaming in from a few yards away that she points toward. "See that over there? That means there's a direct way out. Come on."

Her and Mike set off in that direction, talking amongst themselves. It's like Josh doesn't notice that they've moved off. He's staring off into space. "Josh?" My voice is quiet, tentative. Has he slipped off again? I'm not going to hit him to bring him back, even if that's what it takes. It's not happening.

But he shakes his head quickly and turns toward me, looking to be much more alert than he'd been before. "Charlie?"

"I'm here."

He smiles briefly, but it quickly fades away again. "I'm so sorry," he says softly. "About what I said to you before. And everything that happened before."

I pull him into a tight hug, and he nearly squeezes the life out of me. I lean my forehead against his shoulder and laugh a little, though it might be because I can't keep a whole lot of air in my lungs at the moment; he's compressing my lungs quite a bit. "I forgive you," I say, and I feel him relax a little against me. "I know you didn't mean any of it."

"I pulled you down the stairs."

"You had to stay in character." I laugh a little more and wiggle a bit to get him to loosen his grip. Once I can breathe better, I smile at him. "I must say, you should go into acting. I was very convinced by your performance."

Josh frowns at me. "Why are you acting like this is all okay?"

"Because it _is_ okay, Josh," I say, yanking him toward me again and squeezing him tightly. "Fuck, I'm just so happy you're alive." My eyes are stinging. He holds me tighter, as if he knows. "Don't ever scare me like that again. _Please_."

He lays a hand against the back of my head and somewhat cuddles me closer. "I'll do my best."

I exhale slowly. "I know you will." After moment, I take a step back. I slide my hand down his arm and twine my fingers with his. "We've got bigger things to worry about right now, alright? Remember that episode of _Supernatural_ we watched together, where they were in the woods and had to find that girl's brother who'd been kidnapped?"

Josh nods. "It was a 'Wendigo,' right?"

I break into a grin, though our current situation isn't exactly something to be happy about. Regardless, I'm relieved that he at least appears to be back to his usual self again. "Right. 'Wendigo,'" I say, squeezing his hand. "Only its not fake anymore. The Wendigo is real, and there are a lot of them, and they're hunting us."

"I - I know." He notices my raised eyebrows and goes on. "One of them took me from the shed and threw me down here."

"It _threw_ you?"

He squeezes my hand. "I'm okay. Just a little banged up."

I exhale slowly and nod. "Well, we'll get you all fixed up once we get out of here, okay? But we've got to go now. There's a rescue team coming at dawn, and I'd like to be back at the lodge when they get here."

Josh keeps a tight grip on my hand as we walk over to where Sam and Mike had gone, only now, Mike is standing by himself, waiting for Josh and me to reach him. "Where did Sam go?" I ask, glancing around. Mike points upward. I tilt my head back, spying her climbing up the side of the rock wall, a few yards above our heads. "What is she doing?"

"Going back to tell the others that we found Josh and we're all okay." Mike smirks at me. "Josh isn't in any condition to climb up there, and I doubt you've got the upper body strength to do it anyway, so..."

I smack his arm and he laughs. "Fine. We're going back the way we came, then?" He nods in confirmation. "Right. Okay."

Mike walks on ahead of us. As he passes by Josh, he pats him on the shoulder. "Alright, let's go, you fucked up son of a bitch."

" _Mike_."

"I'm just joking!"

Josh and I walk just a few steps behind Mike, who is still manning the flashlight. At this point, there's enough light coming through the rock that we almost don't need it. Still, though, it's nice to have. Just in case.

"You didn't..." Josh trails off. I look up at him, but he's looking at Mike. "You didn't have to hit me so much, man."

I can see the back of Mike's neck turn red. "Yeah, I'm sorry about before, man," he says awkwardly. "I thought you killed Jess. I was wrong."

"Damn right you were," I mumble. Josh squeezes my fingers again.

We reach the room with the hooks in the ceiling, and it takes everything in my power not to run straight through it. Josh can't run, anyway - not with the way he's stumbling along beside me - and I'm not about to let go of his hand. Not anymore.

Josh lifts his head and spots the flamethrower guy hanging from the ceiling by his throat, and he drags me to a stop, green eyes wide with horror. "Ch-Charlie, you - you see that too, right?" His voice is shaking almost as badly as his body. "Charlie, tell me you see that, too," he all but pleads.

I gently tug him forward, keeping the same firm grip on his hand. "Yeah, I see it, too," I say soothingly. "Just breathe, sweetheart. You're okay." He doesn't respond. "You didn't know him, did you?" His gaze is still trained on the stranger's body, even after we get past it. "He and Chris went to go get you back from the shed. But he didn't make it."

"Chris is okay, though?"

I smile. "Chris is fine. And you're going to be fine, too."

We walk through the doorway leading back to the edge of the lake. Josh eyes the body of water warily. "Do we have to go in there?" he asks.

"Unfortunately. That's the only way back."

He nods slowly and crouches down at the edge beside me. Mike jumps in first, splashing me with the cold water. I sigh; it's not like I was dry yet, I guess. Josh and I follow after him, Josh gasping loudly once he touches the water. I continue to hold his hand, leading him forward. Mike is a few feet ahead of us, shining the flashlight around at the black surface of the lake. But there's nothing there. No, wait.

I hesitate a moment, stopping in my tracks. Fuck, how could I have been so _stupid_? The conditions are exactly right now - Sam is gone, Josh is alive and here with us in the water, and I'm going to -

" _MIKE!_ " I scream, just one second too late. He gives a short shout as something yanks him underwater. Josh is yelling; I'm frozen where I stand. I know what happens next.

The Wendigo bursts out of the water inches in front of me, looming over top of me, yellow eyes fixated on my face. I scream again, shrinking away from it. "No! You're not real!" Josh shouts from behind me, maintaining a death grip on my hand. " _No, you're not!_ "

But it is.

I can't run. There's no time for me to. Who can successfully run in water, anyway? It's too fast, too strong, too eager to kill me. Its hand wraps around my throat in a vice-like grip, its thin, bony fingers like bars of steel against my windpipe. The cold air hits me as I'm lifted out of the water, my hand ripped away from Josh's. The Wendigo shrieks in my face, spit spraying against my cheeks, my ears ringing with the shrill sound. And then there's nothing but the rush of wind howling in my ears, and the sensation of flying.

Pain.

My head, my back, my legs and hips. Not a single inch of my body doesn't flare up in agony as I first collide with the rock wall and then ricochet off of it and to the ground. I'm so dizzy; my vision is swimming. My head was already aching from falling down the stairs before but now the pain is so great I can feel it throbbing behind my eyes and in my ears. I can taste blood in my mouth. Is this what dying feels like? I don't like it.

 _Don't move, don't move, don't move. Stay still and you'll live. Don't move._

Too late.

The Wendigo shrieks again, and then it's on top of me, one skeletal hand around my neck, the other gripping the top of my head. _This is how it ends, then,_ I think as I'm once again lifted off the ground. I'm not even able to put up a fight.

"Hannah!"

The Wendigo freezes, its head snapping to look toward where Josh had shouted. Hannah? But how did he know? I look toward its right shoulder: the tattoo. Hannah had had a butterfly tattooed on her shoulder. I saw it in photos. The Wendigo has the exact same design, in the exact same spot. It's not a coincidence.

"Hannah! Leave her alone!" Josh shouts again, his voice sounding stronger this time.

The rush of air. The flare of pain when my body hits the ground once more. Hannah is shrieking again, but she's not on top of me anymore. There's a splash of water, and I can hear Josh screaming. I try to push myself up, to at least see what's happening, but I can't muster the strength to. Every time I move, it's like fire, lapping away at my muscles, peeling them back to get at my bones.

Josh continues to scream, but the sound gets fainter and fainter the longer it goes on, until I suddenly can't hear him at all. Hannah took him. She dragged him away. She didn't kill him.

 _Don't move. She could come back. Don't. Fucking. Move._

My vision swims again, black clouding the edges of my line of sight until I'm almost seeing entirely in tunnel vision. I close my eyes, thinking maybe it'll lessen the pain in my head. Just close them. Just rest. If I could just rest, maybe everything would hurt a little less...

"Charlie?"

Water drips onto my face and I blearily blink my eyes back open. Mike is standing over me, dripping wet from being underwater, but otherwise no worse for wear. At least, not from what I can see. When he realizes my eyes are open - maybe he was making sure I'm not dead? - he crouches down beside me, relief plain as day on his face. "Charlie, oh my God. Are you okay?" he asks, brown eyes wide.

I give a short laugh; it hurts my chest. "Well, I'm not dead."

He smiles a little. "Can you move?"

I don't particularly want to, but I know we have to get out of here - now more than ever. I nod slightly and lift one of my arms, extending my hand toward him, asking for help standing. Mike grips my hand tightly and, even though it hurts, I say nothing about it. He all but yanks me to my feet, catching me against his chest before I can fall back down.

"Tha - "

My words cut off as soon as he lets go of me, as my body suddenly hits the ground again. Mike is beside me in less than a second, his eyes even wider than before. "What's the matter?" he asks, his voice hushed.

"My - my legs, I - " I try to stand again, but I can't even get my legs to move beneath me, let alone get to my feet. "They won't move."

"What?"

He grabs my hands and tries to pull me up, but I can't make my legs cooperate. They're just lying there in a heap beneath me, slowly going numb the longer I sit on them like this. I can feel them, I just - I can't get them to move. I yank my hands away from Mike's and grab at my ankles, trying to at least get my legs out from under me. That I can do, but I still can get them to do anything on their own.

I can feel tears pricking behind my eyes, though it could be from all the pain I'm in right now. I don't know. All I know is that - "Mike, I can't move my legs."

oOoOo

 _"Excuse me?" I say breathlessly. His family's lodge, the same lodge that his sisters disappeared at only a year ago? Why on Earth is he wanting to go back there so soon? "Are you out of your mind?"_

 _Clearly that isn't the answer he was expecting to hear. "What?" His green eyes are wide in surprise. "What do you mean?"_

 _"With everything that happened last year, you actually want to go back again?" I shake my head. "Have you talked to your parents about this? What did they say?"_

 _He frowns at me and gets to his feet, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm twenty, Charlie; I don't need my parents' permission to spend time with my friends, and especially not when it's something we've been doing every winter since we were in high school."_

 _I remain sitting on the bed, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees. "I get that, Josh, I really do, but do you actually think this is a good idea?"_

 _His face splits into a grin and he nods furiously. After a moment, he starts to pace, running his hands through his hair. "Yeah, I do. I-I mean, I haven't seen my friends in forever. And this is something that we'd always done together, and we shouldn't stop now, should we?" I stare at him. "Just because something bad happened last year doesn't mean we should just forget about all of the other good times we've had up at the lodge. Right?"_

 _" I mean, I guess?" I sigh. "But I wasn't one of your friends last year. It's not my tradition. Why are you inviting me?"_

 _Josh comes back toward the bed and kneels down in front of me, slouching to lay his head in my lap. "Does that mean you're considering it?" I don't answer. "It doesn't matter that you weren't my friend this time last year. You're my friend_ now _, and that means a lot to me. I know you've met most of the gang already, and, from what I've heard, they really like you. Plus, I haven't spent time with you in forever, and I really want to." My heart beats a little faster and my cheeks feel considerably warmer. Josh tilts his head back to look up at me, the most angelic look on his face. "Pretty please?" He flutters his lashes at me and smirks._

 _I press my lips into a thin line and run a gentle hand through his hair. He closes his eyes and leans into my palm. "Have you talked to Dr. Hill about this?" I ask quietly._

 _Josh tenses up immediately, but he doesn't move away from me. "Yes."_

 _"And what did he say?"_

 _"He said it's a great idea."_

 _Josh's answer comes too quickly, and I know he's lying to me, but I don't want to press the issue. Truth be told, I would love to spend a weekend with him and his friends. I really like them, and obviously I really like_ him _. It would be a way for me to get closer to him again, just like we used to be. So, I don't fight him on this. Whether it's a good or bad idea, that's for the future to tell, though I can't imagine why it would be a bad idea._

 _"Okay," I say, sighing loudly, over-dramatically._

 _Josh lunges toward me, wrapping me up in a tight hug and falling backward with me onto the mattress. He presses a firm kiss to my forehead and squeezes me tightly. My stomach flips; he's laughing. He pulls away after a moment and holds my face in his hands, a broad grin on his face. Despite how unsure I am about this whole trip, I can't fight a smile to match his._

 _"Thank you, Charlie," he says. He's breathing heavily, probably from jumping on me. "I promise - you're not going to regret this."_


	16. SIXTEEN

**Alright guys, this is the last chapter! I'll probably be writing a sequel, but you may have to wait a few months before anything comes out about that. Hope you enjoyed** ** _Monstrous_** **! Let me know your feelings!**

|| SIXTEEN ||

Mike paces back and forth in front of me, frantically running his hands through his hair. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ," he chants, shaking his head. "Goddammit."

"Yeah, I'm a little upset about it, too," I say dryly, looking up at him from where I'm still sitting on the ground.

He stops pacing directly in front of me and puts his hands on his hips. "Okay. Okay, don't worry, Charlie; we're going to get out of here. I'm not going to leave you down here."

I raise an eyebrow. "Uh, fucking right you're not going to leave me down here. Why the hell would you leave me down here?" I mean, the obvious and easy answer _would_ be to leave me down here, considering that I'm just going to be slowing him down now. But I think that's a bullshit answer, and I'd rather we try to find a way out of here with me in tow instead of leaving me down here to die.

"I'm gonna carry you out of here, okay?" Mike says.

I roll my eyes. "Great. How humiliating." Miek smiles a little and bends over, scooping me up into his arms. Hold me bridal style, he steps backward, seemingly out of a hole. I glance down at where I had landed after Hannah threw me. "Holy - _I was laying in Beth's grave?_ " I shriek. Mike shushes me quickly. "Oh my God. That's so gross."

He laughs a bit and starts to walk, heading back in the direction he, Sam, and I had come from before, back when we weren't sure if Josh was still alive or not. Josh.

"She got him, didn't she?" I say quietly.

Mike's voice is just as soft. "Yeah."

"Where do you think she took him?"

He shrugs, jostling me a bit. "I don't know."

My head lolls back and I lean against Mike's shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut. There's the stinging behind my eyes again, but I don't try to suppress it this time. And Mike, ever the good, considerate friend, says nothing as I quietly cry into his jacket. All that time searching. All the fear and anxiety, the constant worry over whether he was still alive or not, for nothing. We found him, but for nothing. Sure, we got the key for the cable car, but was it worth it?

No.

 _What do I tell his parents? Fuck, I knew coming here was a bad idea. I knew I shouldn't have let him talk me into this. How could I have been so stupid?_ I just lost my best friend, and there's nothing I can do about it. Not like this. Not when my legs aren't working. There's nothing I can do, and it's tearing me apart from the inside. My body is still on fire from hitting the wall, but the physical pain pales in comparison to the emotional trauma. I suppose that's the way it goes.

I hardly notice when snowflakes drop onto my face. We must be out of the mines. It's considerably colder out here in the woods, and I start shaking immediately. At least we had an uneventful trip getting out of the mines in the first place. It's the little things, I guess. At least we're closer to the lodge than we were before. We're probably not even that far from Sam.

"Can I set you down for a second?" Mike asks. I nod, and he puts me down on the ground, keeping an arm around me so I don't fall into the snow. "Still can't stand?" I shake my head now, and he gives me a brief hug. "It'll be okay. We'll get you to a hospital after we get off the mountain, and they can fix your legs." He neglects to mention that this could very well be permanent, but I know it, at least. "I'm going to carry you on my back the rest of the way, if that's okay."

"Too heavy for you?" I say, half-jokingly. I could technically crawl my way back at this point. I wouldn't make it very far, but I could try.

Mike laughs, for real this time. "Charlie, you weigh about as much as a Chihuahua. I just figured it'd be more comfortable for you."

Comparing me to a Chihuahua is a gross underestimation, but I'll take it. Mike's a pretty buff guy, anyway; he could probably carry me _and_ Sam with no issue. "Alright, fine. Turn around."

He turns his back to me, but lets me lean all my weight against him. As soon as my arms are looped around his neck, his hands find the back of my thighs and he hoists me up on his back. Chuckling, he starts to walk forward. "Comfy?" he asks.

"Oh, definitely."

He turns his head toward me with a smile. "Just try not to choke me, okay?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You're not into that?"

He splutters, blinking rapidly. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just joking, Michael," I say with a laugh. His cheeks are bright pink. "I'll do my best to not choke you. No promises, though."

We don't speak for a while, the only sounds around us being the wind and the snow crunching beneath Mike's boots. It's almost peaceful out here. It could be, if there wasn't the threat of getting killed by a Wendigo looming over our heads. Other than that, I'm kind of enjoying being out here. Maybe I could be an outdoorsy person after all this is over. Who knows?

I start laughing suddenly, making Mike jump. "What's so funny?" he asks. I don't have an answer for him; I just keep laughing. Mike chuckles a little, shaking his head at me. "Yeah, I think you have a concussion. Doctors are gonna have to check that noggin of yours out."

I lean my head against the back of his shoulder and close my eyes. "You talk funny sometimes. You ever notice that? Has anyone ever told you?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're referring to," he says, though from his tone, I know that he does.

"Jesus hot sauce Christmas cake," I say, doing my best Mike impression. "You said that one earlier, back at the sanatorium. It was funny."

Mike laughs and shakes his head once more. "There's definitely something wrong with your head. Let's just get you back to the lodge, okay?" I nod, moving around the fabric of his jacket. "Good. Sit tight. We should be there pretty soon."

We walk for another ten minutes or so before the distinct sound of a Wendigo shrieking echoes in the forest around us. She found us. Mike sets off at a faster clip, all but running, and I know it's because he doesn't want to jostle me around. Honestly, I could care less about how much my body is aching right now; I just want to live. Doctors can fix broken bones and internal bleeding, but they can't reattach my severed head.

I catch sight of a blonde head and red sweatshirt sprinting ahead of us. "It's Sam," I say quietly, close enough to Mike's ear that I know he hears me. "You can run; it's not going to hurt me." Not too badly, anyway.

Mike does as I say, running to catch up with Sam. She's clearly been spooked by something; maybe she heard the Wendigo scream, too. But I haven't spotted one in the trees at all, and I haven't heard it again since the first one. Maybe Hannah isn't following us after all? I can only hope.

Sam reaches the lodge first and heads straight for the front door. She grips the handle and tries to open it, but it's pretty apparent that the door is locked when she starts yelling and beating on the windows. We reach her then, and Mike lets go of one of my legs to lay a hand on her shoulder. "Sam," he says, and she jumps.

"Shit, Mike. Charlie." She looks up at me, then back to Mike. "Oh gosh, you guys look terrible."

"Gonna look worse if we stay out here," Mike says ominously. He grabs the back of my thigh and lifts my leg back up again. What a good friend. "Come on."

Sam grabs a rock and smashes one of the door's windows in before reaching a hand inside to unlock the door. Once it's open, she leads the way inside. I shut the door behind us, though I can't reach down far enough to turn the lock into place. No matter; at this point, anything that wants to come in is going to find a way in.

"Guys, what happened to Josh?" Sam's voice is soft. She already knows.

Mike's voice is just as quiet. "It got him." I rest my cheek against his shoulder and look away.

"God, what an awful way to go," Sam says. She looks at me then, seeming to notice for the first time that I'm on Mike's back. "Charlie, what happened to you?"

I smile a little, but it's forced. "Hannah threw me against a wall. Can't move my legs. Mike carried me the whole way back."

Sam shakes her head sadly and moves toward us. She lays a comforting hand on my back before reaching out and flicking on the light switch, lighting up the whole front room. Mike uses his elbow to turn the lights back off again. "Not good," he says to her. I didn't know the lights were even working to start with. They've been off the whole time.

Sam sighs and nods. "What do you think we should do?"

"We should check the basement," Mike says. "Might be someone left down there."

Sam and I both nod and Mike leads the way down the stairs toward the basement, still carrying me on his back. What a saint. I really hope everyone is okay. We can't lose anyone else tonight. I don't think I could stand anymore loss. Hah - _stand_. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.

"How do you rate our chances of survival?" Sam asks after a few minutes of silence.

Mike shakes his head, his voice grim. "I'm trying not to think about it."

I roll my eyes. "Way to be Mr. Negative."

There's a loud shriek and then Ashley comes tearing through an open doorway. "Run!" she screams, sprinting past us.

Chris and Emily are right on her heels. "Get outta here!" Chris yells. "Go, go, go!"

"Go, we gotta go!" I turn my head in time to see Emily shove Ashely out of the way. Ashley stumbles for a moment but regains her footing and continues running.

A second later, a Wendigo pops into the doorway, letting out another one of those unearthly screeches. "Run!" Mike yells, like he didn't get the memo before. He turns on his heel and runs, bounching me along on his back. I'm trying not to hold on too tightly to his beck because I don't want to choke him, but I also don't want to fall off.

We're up the stairs and out into the front room again before Mike skids to a stop, staring up. I follow his line of sight and see Hannah clinging to that giant spherical chandelier hanging in the center of the room. Mike freezes and I do the same, only glancing around with my eyes. Chris, Ashley, and Emily have all frozen as well, each one of them in various positions toward the front door, which now hangs open. Hannah ripped the damn thing off its hinges.

Only a few moments after Mike and I stopped, Sam comes tearing up the stairs. She catches sight of Hannah instantly and stops quickly, eyes wide. "Don't...move," Mike hisses at her, eyes still trained on the Wendigo. "Don't fucking move a muscle."

Hannah looks around, whipping her head from side to side, crawling around on the chandelier like a giant, demonic spider. She's searching for movement, but she's not getting any from us. After a few tense minutes, more screeching comes from behind us, and the Wendigo from downstairs comes twoard Hannah, closely followed by another.

Hannah is much larger than the other two for some reason, and she and one of the other ones creep toward each other on all fours. Hannah stands up and screams at it, fulling prepared to catch the opposing Wendigo as soon as it leaps at her. I'm mesmerized watching the two of them, as the one Wendigo crawls onto Hannah's back, looking a lot like how Mike is holding me right now. Hannah grabs the Wendigo by the neck and slams it into the stairs, shattering them like toothpicks, before flinging the Wendigo toward the fireplace.

As it lands, it knocks the gas pipe loose from where it connects to the fireplace itself. The smell of gas starts to slowly leak into the air. Mike and I exchange a glance with each other, and then with Sam. He darts his eyes toward one of the lamps with exposed light bulbs, and Sam nods slightly. She's on board.

Time to do what the totem said and blow the lodge sky high.

Mike and I start to creep toward the light bulb, Mike moving slowly and myself not moving an inch. Hannah is still going after the Wendigo she'd thrown into the fireplace, which she tosses aside as soon as the second one lunges for her. They collide in midair - which, dare I say, looks pretty freaking badass - before Hannah grabs the other one by the neck and slams its head against the floor. Seconds later, she rips its head completely off and tosses it aside.

The floor creaks in Sam's direction and I turn my head toward her. Hannah shrieks and looks directly at where Sam is standing, frozen. While Hannah is focused on Sam, Mike and I reach the light bulb. "You got this?" he whispers.

I nod. "Just stay still."

Keeping one eye on Hannah, I reach out slowly and grab onto the glass bulb. I'm not very strong, but there's enough desperation inside of me to give me the strength to shatter the glass. The pieces cut into my palm and fingers, but honestly, I've gotten enough injuries tonight, these small once won't really make much of a difference. In all the commotion, I just barely catch a glimpse of Chris darting out the front door. Safe.

The sound of the glass shattering and falling to the hardwood floor attracts Hannah's attention, and she whips away from Sam and jumps in our direction instead, settling on one of the chairs and snapping her head back and forth, trying to find Mike and I. _Don't move. Don't move._ She climbs down off the chair and creeps toward us, eyes fixated on my face, like she knows exactly where I am, even though I haven't moved. Now I really _am_ going to die. And after all of this...

"Hey!" Sam shouts.

Hannah screeches again and turns away from us, making her way back toward where Sam is standing, anger clearly expressed on her face. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief. She saved us. Mike is looking just as relieved when he glances back at me. I give him a small smile. Off to the side, Emily escapes through the front door as well.

Hannah is almost directly in front of Sam, just a few inches away from her, but Sam doesn't move. Her eyes are locked on where Mike and I stand across the room, even as Hannah screams again, right in her face. What a champ. I don't think I'd still be alive if I was her.

Once Hannah's back it turned, Sam darts a couple feet to her right to hide up against one of the lodge's support beams. She presses her back against it, seemingly unfazed when Hannah comes after her once more, this time screeching right into Sam's ear. Mike starts to sneak toward the front door, his hands firmly locked around my legs. I can hear him breathing. Ashley is ahead of us, and takes the opportunity of Hannah being distracted to run out the door.

Another Wendigo appears, this one leaping down from upstairs. Sam again dashes over to a new hiding spot, this one closer to the light switch by the front door. All she has to do is flip the switch and get out of the lodge as fast as she can, and the Wendigos should be toast. As long as she waits until Mike and I are out of the building, at least.

Hannah notices Sam's movement just as Mike and I reach the front door. Sam's not moving, and doesn't look lilke she's going to be moving any time soon. Mike shoots me another glance, and I tighten my grip around his neck just slightly, letting him know that I'm prepared for him to run. And he does.

I never thought I'd be so thankful for the winter air. All of the terror and tension inside the lodge has me sweating. Chris, Emily, and Ashley are huddled several yards away from the front door, and Mike and I head for them. He sets me down beside Chris, who gives me a strained smile. The snow feels heavenly against my cut palm. We're all safe. Now all we need is Sam.

From off in the distance, I can see the sun starting to rise above the tree line. It's dawn. We made it until dawn. Seconds later, there's a rush of heat as the lodge explodes. Sam is airborne, flying out of the front door with the force of the explosion and landing heavily in the snow. Mike rushes over to check that she's okay, but she's sitting up, and that's a good thing. The entire lodge is on fire, flames billowing out from every window, black smoke starting to rise up into the air in thick plumes. The shrieking sound of the Wendigo spirits being released echoes in my ears, as four fireballs shoot off into the air. The sound of a helicopter approaching cuts through the sound of the blazing fire, and I can faintly hear the voice of the pilot.

"We have visual," they say. "The main structure is completely destroyed, over." Chris and Mike are both on their feet, waving their arms around to get us noticed. "Hold on, I'm seeing something. It's looks like there _are_ survivors. Let's pick 'em up."

Chris helps me to my feet, seeming to catch on that I can't stand on my own. Mike comes over to take me form him, scooping me up into his arms again. "What's that?" Ashely asks, pointing back in the direction of the sanatorium and the mines.

I turn my head. There's a flash of light off that way, blazing red and sparking. "Is that a flare?" I ask.

Emily whips around. "Oh my God! Matt!" She notices us staring and is quick to explain. "Matt and I found a flare gun on our way to the fire tower, but the idiot shot it off right away. I didn't know he had extra flares with him." She may have called him an idiot, but I can see the relief on her face. "Do you think the rescue team sees the flare?"

"I'm sure they do," Ashley says, laying a hand on Emily's shoulder.

Everyone is so relieved to be alive that it looks like all the differences are getting set aside. At least for now. And hey, if Matt is alive, maybe that means Jess is alive, too. Maybe - maybe Josh is alive.

I glance back at the burning lodge. Hannah died in the fire. Her spirit was released - I _saw_ it. She was the one that dragged Josh away, but she didn't kill him right away. And then she made it to the lodge, almost right after we did, which means she must have left only a little bit later than us. She could have left him down in the mines, totally unharmed. She could have left him alive.

"Mike." He looks down at me. "We have to find Josh."

He presses his lips into a thin line and shakes his head. "Hannah killed Josh, Charlie. You were there."

I frown. "She didn't kill him, she just dragged him off and followed us back here. And now she's dead. But maybe he isn't."

Mike shakes his head at me just as the helicopter lands a few yards away from us. The others are all stumbling toward it with the aid of the resuce team. Emily is pointing back toward the flare, and Sam is talking with one of the other rescuers. Chris and Ashley are already seated inside.

"Even if he _is_ still alive, Charlie, you're in no condition to go looking for him," Mike says, trying to be logical about it. Fuck logic. I just want Josh back. "Let's just go get in the helicopter, okay?"

I try to squirm away from him, but without the use of my legs, I don't get very far. "No, we have to find him! He's still alive!" I insist, glaring at him with as much heat as I can muster. With all of the shit that's gone on tonight, on top of all my injuries, the fatigue is starting to set in. Regardless, I don't stop fighting him, even as he gets me sat down beside Chris and Ashley. "Mike, goddammit, he could still be out there!"

Mike crouches down in front of me, fully aware that we've now attracted everyone else's attention. He speaks to me in a low voice. "I know how much he means to you, Charlie, but we can't just risk our lives again to go searching for him. We'd need a whole team of people who are better at this wilderness thing than we are, besides the fact that you can't even walk right now."

"So we'll get the rescue team," I say just as quietly. "And you can go with them. I know I won't be able to go, but you can't tell me that you're too banged up to point the resue team in the right direction down there. They need at least one of us with them."

He nods slowly, clasping my hands in his. "Okay. _Okay._ I'll talk to them about getting a search and rescue team put together. Alright?"

The relief is so quick that all of the tension drains out of my body all at once. I slump over, leaning my head against Chris's shoulder. I'm so tired. I've never been this tired before. Even so, my eyes are open just enough to maintain eye contact with Mike. "We saw what happened to Hannah, Mike," I say softly, hoping Chris and Ashley won't hear. They don't need to know just yet. We can't let that happen to Josh. We just can't."

Mike squeezes my hand and straightens up. "I know, Charlie. We won't."

The dark spots are creeping up at the edges of my vision again. I don't have a whole lot longer before I pass out. It's never been this bad before. "Bring him back to me, Mike," I say. My voice is hardly above a whisper, but I know he hears me. "Bring him back to me, or at least bring me his body."

And then everything goes black around me.

 **To be continued in the sequel! Thanks for making it this far! I'll post an announcement when the new book is up!**


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